


Alicia Doreen and the Werewolf Professor

by crazyRapunzel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 72,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26466529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyRapunzel/pseuds/crazyRapunzel
Summary: Alicia is leading an exciting life as a student at Hogwarts. She loves everything that is wild and dangerous. Should it therefore suprise anyone that she fell for the werewolf professor?
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 54
Kudos: 200





	1. first impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> How wonderful you stumbled across my work.
> 
> A quick warning, this story is really rated explicit. Only continue if you are sure you can handle sexual content, also between a student/teacher. Not that the story is only that...but you know. It's part of it.
> 
> Hope you like it! Leave a review :D

Remus John Lupin was incredibly nervous for his first class as a teacher of Defence Against the Dark Arts. Well technically this wasn’t his first, because earlier that morning he had started with the second years of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but that seemed to go by so quickly and easily. He wondered whether the young students were so quiet because of his teaching skills or because of the scars that decorated his face. Hardly a day went by without someone staring at him.

No, but he counted the second period of the first day of the schoolyear as his first class, because he needed to teach the seventh years next. It was quite the switch in subject matter and level of expertise from the impressionable second years to the rebellious and clever seventh years.

He woke up from his trance when the door opened and the students entered the room. He stood to say a polite ‘good morning’ here and there, waiting for them all to settle down. He already heard the first whispers mentioning his scars and placing bets to how he got them. The students had the idea that they were discreet and quiet enough, but they didn’t know that Remus Lupin had a heightened sense of hearing. However those words didn’t bother him. Soon enough the initial shock of his physique would die down and they would have to listen to his teaching.

When the last student closed the door he took out a parchment and started scanning the names. ‘Good afternoon class. My name is Professor Remus John Lupin. I will be your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher for this year and hopefully many to come. I would like to start by checking the attendance sheet first. William Boot?’ After a ‘here’ from William and a couple of others he grew confident that his class was all present, until he heard a pause after asking for ‘Alicia Doreen?’

‘She isn’t here yet professor,’ a girl in the back replied. Remus looked up from the list, as if to hope that the missing girl would suddenly appear. ‘Well do you know where Miss Doreen is?’ The girl with the raven black hair was about to open her mouth, when the door slammed open. Remus looked up to see a seventeen-year-old girl standing in the opening, her hair tangled and wild, her chest heaving from running up the stairs. She leaned in the doorpost with her hands and her legs stood wide with her toes facing inward. The sight was so comical Remus nearly forgot he was supposed to be the adult in the room. He forced down his chuckles and cleared his throat.

‘Sorry I’m late professor. There was an incident I had to deal with,’ the girl replied. She started to walk towards the empty seat next to the raven haired Ravenclaw. Remus sniffed the air, and smelled something unpleasant. He looked the newest arrival over again and realised that her hair wasn’t just tangled, but also scorched. He smelled burnt hair.

‘An incident? Is that why your hair is smouldering?’ He asked. The class seemed surprised by his reaction. Sure enough some teachers would call bullshit and straight up deduct house points. The girl was suddenly aware of her hair and started running her fingers through the scorched parts. ‘Whoops. Thank you for telling me professor.’ Once again, Remus had trouble containing his smile.

* * *

Alicia hoped she didn’t miss any of her hair still smouldering away. Suddenly she noticed the smell and apologized to Michelle sitting next to her. Her friend looked half-amused half-annoyed at her silly friend and patted out a small burn mark in her robes.

‘What did I miss?’ Alicia asked. Michelle shrugged. ‘Nothing. He literally just asked where you were and then you stormed in like a lunatic.’ Alicia chuckled. ‘You know I like dramatic entrances.’

Professor Lupin continued down the list and once he was done, he addressed the class once more.

‘Well, now that we are all here,’ Alicia noticed the professors green eyes looking at her for a second ‘we can start the class. I understand that last year went quite different than usual. Your professor, Mister Lockhart was send to St Mungo’s and your exams were cancelled due to the Chamber of Secrets being opened. So am I to understand that you are a bit behind?’

Half the class started talking at the mentions of last year. When professor Lupin had shushed them he chose a Ravenclaw to inform him. ‘The exams being cancelled was a blessing. Professor Lockhart was a complete fraud. He taught us nothing all year.’ There were noises of agreement from the class and the professor pressed him on. ‘So we might need more than a little extra aid to catch up with the material from last year.’

The professor sighed. ‘I was afraid the situation was regrettable, but to catch up on an entire year…well don’t worry. I’ll work on a new schedule. For now I want to catch up on the nonverbal spells. Have you practiced those last year at least?’ Some people nodded. ‘Alright then. I’ll talk them over for half an hour and after that we will practice them. Sounds good?’

The excited noises from the students seemed to lift the professors spirit. Alicia watched the curious new professor. He wasn’t like any of the other teachers. They were all so strict, so…inhuman and distant. But this man, he seemed a lot closer to the students. He felt for them, having a moron for a teacher the year before they graduated. He seemed to want to be liked, because he looked for confirmation of his lesson plans. And lastly, he hadn’t said anything about house points or detention to Alicia. For that alone, she felt already in his dept.

‘What do you think?’ Alicia asked Michelle as everyone was getting out their books. Michelle looked up with a questionable look. ‘What you mean the professor? I guess he is okay so far.’

In front of the two Ravenclaw girls sat two more Ravenclaw girls. Elena, the ever bubbly and naïve friend, turned around to join in. ‘He looks weird though. Those scars. What do you think did that?’

Alicia sat back in her chair and started ticking off her fingers. ‘Dragon, Wampus cat, pixies, werewolf, regular wolf, cat, bowtruckle-‘ she gained a giggle at that last one from Elena. ‘All plausible options. More options possible depending on where he travelled. Or maybe the most dangerous one of all…a crazy ex-girlfriend.’ She added a dramatic look for effect and successfully made all three girls laugh.

After the lecture the tables and benches were moved aside so they had place to stand around in pairs and practice their non-verbal spell work. Alicia didn’t have too much trouble when performing them, but she did have trouble aiming at her friend. She tried to aim for her legs as she used the Jelly-Legs Curse, but they kept ending in her face. Elena looked more and more distraught at the wild flying curses and jinxes.

‘Come on Alicia. Aim for the legs.’

Alicia sighed in frustration. ‘I am! Look.’ She aimed once more at Elena’s legs but at the last moment she was distracted by a moving figure. Her curse went wide again but instead of hitting Elena, she hit someone in the back of the head.

Of course it had to be the professor.

‘I am soooo sorry about that!’ Alicia exclaimed, her hands covering her face.

Professor Lupin turned around slowly, rubbing the back of his head. ‘Are you trying to get detention today, Miss Doreen?’ he said. It was supposed to sound threatening, but she couldn’t help but notice some amusement in his tone. Nevertheless she dropped her gaze to the floor.

‘No professor. I am just bad at aiming.’ She dared to look up to see him looking with a curious expression.

‘Well I guess that would be your first task to master then.’ The girl nodded quickly and the professor moved on to the next pair.

Elena shook her hand as if it had been burned. ‘That was close Nessie. I think he really likes you to go so easy on you.’

Alicia shook her head at the nickname. In her fourth year she saved a fellow student from being drowned by an overgrown kelpie and now she had a reputation and a nickname around the school. It wasn’t the real Loch Ness monster though, mind you. ‘Shut it. It’s your turn.’

The class was about to end, the furniture back in place, when Alicia heard her name being spoken. She looked up at her new DADA professor. ‘If you wouldn’t mind staying for a moment,’ he said shortly. Michelle, Elena and Sophia waved her goodbye as they left for lunch in the Great Hall. Soon everyone had gone except the new teacher and the student that was late to class on her first day.

She looked down at him sitting behind his desk. It suddenly felt weird being alone in the room with him. She did actually look at the scars on his face properly for the first time. Whatever it had been that had attacked him, it had done a lot of damage. The wounds had been deep when inflicted. His sandy-brown hair fell over his forehead in a feeble attempt to hide a part of his scar. There was light stubble on his face. His wizarding robes looked old but recently refreshed. A dull shine came from his buttons and the small tears in the fabric of his sleeves were darned with a secure hand.

He leaned forward on his desk and looked directly in Alicia’s eyes. ‘I would like to know why you were late today.’ It was a simple request. It made sense. However, Alicia’s mind had already found herself thinking he was going to ask something way more personal. _Why would he do that you idiot?_ She reprimanded her own thoughts.

She exhaled with a shaky laugh. ‘Well, you noticed the scorch marks, right?’ He nodded and his eyes flickered to her long blonde hair before returning to meet her gaze. ‘Uhm…there was an incident in the dungeons near the Slytherin common room. Somehow a fire crab had gotten inside the castle and it was wildly attacking students and sending fireballs from it’s a-rear,’ she confessed.

The professor’s face froze in place. ‘There was a fire crab in the dungeons.’

‘Yep,’ she said, plopping the P.

He stared at her for a moment, maybe expecting her to say more, but she was really distracted by this man. He shook his head and chuckled. The sound of his laughter made Alicia feel warm inside. _Wow girl, get your act together will you?_ ‘And obviously when a fire crab enters the dungeon, you have to deal with it. Is that right?’

Alicia blinked out of her daydream and realised why he found this so peculiar. ‘Ah, right! I forgot to mention a bit about me. You see, professor, I have a passion for magical creatures. I seem pretty good at taming and handling them. This is something the entire school knows because of the famous Leprechaun invasion,’ she noticed his incredulous look but simply replied with, ‘not important. So anyway, the answer is yes. When the Slytherins faced this problem they asked me to deal with it. So I did.’

‘You did?’ he asked, even more surprised than he already was.

‘Yes. Brought it to Hagrid. He knows what to do with them. He might even be featured in his Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Hagrid is so excited to be a teacher this year. The fire crab had quite a temperament though, maybe not so safe after all.’ That last sentence was added as an afterthought.

The professor stared her down for a moment longer before deflating a bit in his chair. Now he really couldn’t stop the smile on his face as he recalled how ridiculous this school could be. ‘Well I guess you were actually quite quick then. You were found by a Slytherin, brought to the dungeons, dealt with the beast and brought it to Hagrid, and in the end you were mere minutes late to class.’

‘It happened during our previous free hour,’ she replied simply.

‘Of course it did,’ the professor said just above a whisper.

Alicia raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you calling me a liar professor? I have many witnesses that can tell you the truth.’

‘No! No I wasn’t implying that. I just think…you are incredible.’

Alicia started blushing at that remark. She cleared her throat and shuffled her shoes. ‘Thank you, Professor Lupin.’

He didn’t seem to realise what he had said. ‘Okay, well thank you for telling me. I will remember it. Next time I face something interesting I will call for you.’

Alicia chuckled at that and looked at the professor again. With that dashing smile on his face she suddenly realised that she found the professor attractive. _Oh no_. ‘You should. I will be there!’

The professor chuckled once more and started collecting some papers on his desk. ‘Alright, you are dismissed. You should get some lunch.’ Alicia turned to leave. When she walked past his desk, she noticed a book on top. It attracted her attention because it was familiar. ‘Oh this is a good one! I didn’t think it was on the recommended reading list for this year,’ Alicia said.

The professor looked up from his papers to see the girl hovering over his current read. ‘It isn’t. I’m reading it now. Did you read it?’ Alicia turned to see the bookmark already halfway. ‘Yes I did and there are some great plot twists yet to come for you. But chapter five was my favourite part, I see you already read that. When you finish it you should tell me and we can discuss it. There are some holes in the story that I would like to discuss with someone. I want to see how someone else interpreted it.’

The professor looked at her for a moment before replying. ‘I will. That is the second time in our first meeting that you astonish and surprise me.’ His gaze didn’t leave the Ravenclaw girl.

Despite her warm cheeks she tried to reply lightly with a joke. ‘Always here to surprise you,’ she said while making a theatrical bow. After another moment of eye contact that send warm shivers down Alicia’s spine she turned to leave the classroom.


	2. good intentions

Every time something funny or weird happened during the day Alicia felt a little sad. Something like seeing a first-year get lost and ask her for directions, a portrait that suddenly yelled at her or a staircase that moved without her wanting to. Those things were typically Hogwarts. And soon enough she would leave the ancient school and all the odd things it had to offer. Over the years she had grown very attached to her life here. Alicia wasn’t a straight Outstanding grades kind of Ravenclaw. In the beginning she even wondered why she was picked for the so-called smart house, but over the years she came to realise that people misunderstood what Ravenclaw stands for. Instead of learning for her exams she would get lost in some lore about wand making. Instead of listening to her teachers she would write down possible ingredients for her own experimental potions. For her, Ravenclaw wasn’t about ‘get good grades and follow the rules’ but more like ‘get clever in the ways you want’. But maybe that was just her.

Finally she arrived at the Great Hall to catch up with her friends during lunch. She walked down the long tables to find her three best friends sitting there. ‘Oh how sweet. You waited for me to start lunch,’ she said sarcastically, seeing two half-full plates and one already finished. Michelle rolled her eyes and continued to write down some homework lines. Sophia and Elena looked up at her with expectant expressions.

‘So? What did he want? Did you get detention after all?’ Elena asked. Alicia merely shrugged. ‘Nope. He just wanted to know why I was late. That’s it.’ Michelle did look up at this point. ‘Yes, I would like to know that too. Where were you? I heard some people say something about a turtle in the dungeons. You had anything to do with that?’

Alicia scooped some mashed potatoes on her plate. ‘Fire crab. Much more unpredictable than turtles. Yeah, someone had to deal with it.’ Sophia giggled at that. ‘I heard you got some Slytherin admirers because of that.’ Elena giggled too, but Michelle rolled her eyes again. ‘One of these days you will overestimate yourself and something is going wrong.’ Alicia huffed. ‘Why always so negative Mich? I handled it just fine!’

‘You didn’t even realise you were on fire!’ she protested. Michelle sighed and returned to her task. ‘It’s your life and all that, but I’m just trying to warn you.’ Alicia reached across the table to touch her arm. ‘I know. Thank you for your concern. But even if I make a mistake one day, I will just have to live through it. Don’t worry about me.’ Michelle seemed ready to comment on that but decided to keep her mouth shut.

‘So how was it to be alone with Professor Lupin?’ Elena asked while wiggling her eyebrows. Alicia laughed, partly because it looked funny and partly because the question made her nervous. ‘It was magical. Thrilling. Exciting. Like a dream of another world!’ she exclaimed with dramatic hand gestures. Elena looked less excited now but she still laughed. Alicia shook her head. ‘What do you expect me to say? He just asked why I was late, and after a while he believed me. It was a difficult story to believe, definitely if you don’t know me, you know.’ The girls giggled and dropped the subject after that. Alicia didn’t think it was a good idea to tell them anything more. About their shared love for books, about him complimenting her multiple times or how she felt her heart beating faster and her cheeks flushing the entire time. I was just nervous he would punish me. Yeah, that must be it. Alicia stopped thinking about her new teacher after that for nearly a week.

* * *

It was strange to have all the dementors flying around the castle. Alicia was used to trips to Hagrid, walks along the lake and adventures in the woods. Her love for magical creatures had been the reason she bonded with Hagrid so quickly. They had many tea parties and took care of creatures together. In her second year Hagrid had asked her if she wanted to meet the centaur colony in the Forbidden Forest. She had gone gladly and was one of the rare exceptions the centaurs allowed in their camp. Alicia had brought precious gifts for them. They in return told her a lot about star constellations. It was the main reason Alicia was good at Astronomy. After her connection with them she often wandered through the woods by herself, knowing that she was safe.

Now however that was becoming rather hard to do. The dementors seemed to follow her once she got off the paths. Even though she didn’t have any interaction with them she definitely didn’t want one of those flying dirty sheets to follow her. So trips to Hagrid’s place were as far as she dared to go.

‘It’s a weird situation this,’ Hagrid said solemnly, staring out the window. Alicia was placed in a huge chair with a mug big enough for five cups of tea at a time. She had curled her legs beneath her and had gotten a blanket to cover her cold feet. ‘They really think that Sirius Black is coming for Hogwarts, aren’t they? I received a letter from my mother yesterday. She says not even Gringotts is protected the way Hogwarts is.’ Hagrid looked up at the small girl. ‘I reckon the same. He better not come here. With those dementors and Dumbledore to deal with. But Black might even be stupid enough to try.’

This caused Alicia to raise her eyebrows. ‘Sounds like you knew him.’ Hagrid puffed and protested a couple of times before he relented and told her what was on his mind. ‘I knew him when he was a student here. Not very well, he wasn’t the type to come here for a cup of tea. He was a real troublemaker. I heard that he was responsible for bringing another student in mortal danger. Pff. No wonder he turned out like that.’

Alicia cast her eyes downward. ‘One of those typical pureblood types with delusions of grandeur it sounds like.’

Hagrid shrugged. ‘I suppose. There was hope when he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin. The entire family of Black have always been Slytherins, except for Sirius. He was a Gryffindor.’ Alicia made a small noise of surprise. ‘Curious. But honestly, sometimes I think Gryffindors are way more dangerous than Slytherins. They have this hero complex don’t they. They think everything they do is good because they are sorted in the “good house”.’

Hagrid laughed a bit at that. ‘Not all of them are like that. Look at little Harry for example. He and his friends are full of good intentions!’ Hagrid seemed to beam whenever he spoke of Harry. Alicia knew he saw himself as a father figure for the orphaned boy, but she wondered if the Boy Who Lived felt the same. ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions,’ she said quietly.

Hagrid didn’t seem to agree or willing to argue, so he changed the subject. ‘I’m planning on going to the Three Broomsticks later. I heard some travellers are in town. They might just have some interesting stories to tell. Do you want to come along?’ Alicia agreed and soon they were on their way to Hogsmeade.

* * *

‘Don’t do it.’

‘I swear I can do it.’

‘I didn’t say you couldn’t. I’m saying you shouldn’t. You’ll get yourself in trouble.’

‘It would be worth it. Just think of that little-,’

‘I know what you are trying to do but I’m not going to let you do something irrational and dangerous as that! You should know better.’

‘I do know better. But there is a life at stake here! Hagrid, you of all people should understand!’

To Alicia it felt like their discussion had already been going on for an hour, but in reality It had been minutes. The Ravenclaw sat on the tip of her chair, waiting for the opportune moment to jump out of it. But she knew Hagrid could and would stop her.

Hagrid sighed. ‘You are not pulling me along in this. Alicia, those men are dangerous.’ She huffed. ‘You wanted to talk with them in the first place! Interesting travellers, right?’ She gave him a smile, hoping to convince him.

‘I wanted to talk to them, you want to gamble and cheat them! No way Alicia. Drink your butterbeer and then we will be heading back,’ Hagrid spoke like a true guardian. There goes my chance of persuading him. Alicia fell back against her chair and crossed her arms like a moody teenager. She knew she was too old for this behaviour but she also really wanted it to go her way. After Hagrid and herself had entered the bar they had quickly spotted the newcomers. There was a small crowd gathered around them. One man was bragging about his latest self-invented spells while another, shady-looking man seemed to have many valuable objects hidden in his coat. As he opened it to show an interested wizard his collection, Alicia recognized a small silver egg in his pocket. It was an Occamy egg, very rare in Europe and very valuable because of the silver. Alicia also immediately realised that that poor little Occamy was never going to hatch alive if it stayed in the shady man his pocket, or if he traded it with anyone.

So after a while the men seemed interested in a game of exploding snap and were gambling away their goods with the locals. Alicia had set her mind to playing and winning that egg, but she had trusted Hagrid with her plan and now he stood in her way.

However, two third-year students walked up to Hagrid because they had an urgent question, and Alicia saw her chance to slip away. She reached the table with the shady men and slammed a hand filled with sickles down.

‘So, who wants to play?’


	3. house traits

It was Remus Lupin his second week as a teacher at Hogwarts, and he started to feel more confident about his teaching methods. Most students seemed to like him. He took a practical approach to the lessons, letting the students try out their spells the moment he taught them. He also had a growing collection of creatures hidden away in his classroom, useful during his lessons. The boggart for the third-years was a great hit, apart from the class with Harry Potter. Remus didn’t know what to do with the situation. A part of him ached to tell the young boy everything about James and Lily, but he knew that wasn’t going to be easy. And of course he couldn’t leave out the part where Sirius was involved. He knew that for now that was too much to handle for him. But he made a mental note to make some progress over the year. _And hopefully before either him or I run into Sirius._ He shook his head at the thought.

The second class of the seventh-year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs was starting. Once the older students walked in he found himself more nervous than he was for his other classes. He tried to push the knot in his stomach down, convincing himself that he was just nervous for the next class. He absentmindedly touched the cover of the book he had finished late last night.

‘Good afternoon class,’ he said loud and clear. ‘Good morning Professor Lupin,’ he got back from all of them. After a short explanation about the changes he had made because of their lack in classes last year, he started off with his new curriculum. It was very quiet it the classroom apart from the sound of scratching quills on parchment and ruffling through books. He found that Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were overall much easier to teach, because they lacked the rivalry that was always there between the other two houses. In these classes it was more about helping each other than competing against each other. It wasn’t the first time he wondered what his time at Hogwarts would have been like if he had been in Ravenclaw, where a lot of people thought he belonged. He definitely would have had more time for studying, without all the distractions.

 _But you wouldn’t have been friends with James, Peter and…and Sirius._ He tried to clear his mind and continued his class.

After another successful class of hard work Remus was pleased to see his students smiling at him when they left the room. He was always happy to see people look past his scars, and it didn’t take these students long at all. His eyes roamed the room until he singled out the Ravenclaw girl with the long blonde hair that was, this time, not on fire.

‘Miss Doreen? You have a moment?’ he asked quietly. Alicia looked up from packing her stuff. Her friends seemed to give her suspicious glances but went away anyway.

The girl in question shuffled a bit awkward before speaking. ‘Actually professor, I am in a bit of a hurry. Is this important or could it wait?’

Remus hadn’t expected that. He stumbled over his words as he spoke. ‘Oh…uhm no. Nothing important I-I just…’ he looked up to see that the classroom was once more empty except for Alicia and him. She tilted her head to the side and gave him a friendly smile that encouraged him to go on. ‘I just wanted to say I finished that book you talked about. It was very thrilling indeed at the end. But you can go it’s no problem.’

Alicia got excited. ‘Oh right the book! So what did you think of the part where the wife goes away to Spain to be a potions master? Because I couldn’t believe she would leave her husband behind. That was such a spin on the theme for me!’

Remus chuckled at her newfound interest. He took a couple of steps closer to her and leaned against the desk one row away from her. ‘Well, it was her lifelong dream all along. One could say she deserved it. But I agree that it was unexpected. As well as the uncle with the Dragon pox.’

She giggled at the memory of the book character. Remus decided he really liked her laugh. It wasn’t forced, it wasn’t too delicate, it was just real and melodious to him. He dared to look at her a bit more closely. She had protruding green-grey eyes, lightly tanned skin that made a couple of freckles stand out on her cheeks. Her thick, long blonde hair turned around her face and down her back, reaching just past her waist. His eyes travelled down her matured, rounded body. She wore her Ravenclaw uniform, but had donned the sweater and stood now just in the white blouse and skirt. If he concentrated, he could see the red colour of her bra through the shirt.

That was the moment he realised he had been staring for too long. He looked back in her eyes and could see her reddened face and uncomfortable expression. He stood straight up. ‘I am so sorry! That was…very inappropriate of me. I…can you forgive me?’

She seemed uncertain at first, but smiled again after that. ‘Okay.’

He was about to apologize more, but got distracted by a sound coming out of her bag. She quickly drew the bag closer to herself and seemed to be in a whole new level of awkward now. ‘Ha ha. Let’s pretend that didn’t happen. You were saying something…earlier…’ But Remus was already way too interested. ‘Is there something living in your bag?’ he asked, pointing at it. She bit her lip, trying to decide what to tell him. The sight of her teeth biting down on her full lips did funny things to him internally. _Get it together Moony._ He blamed his inner wolf for this behaviour.

‘I might as well tell you. This is why I was in a hurry before. I need to feed Sarah,’ she said while putting the bag in front of her and opening the flap. Remus looked inside to find a creature nestled between the books and in the sweater she wasn’t wearing. Alicia conjured a worm and gave it to the creature, who ate it happily. ‘What is that?’ He asked flabbergasted as he stared at the foreign beasts. It looked like a purple and blue snake, but its head was more like a bird and it had small wings halfway down its body.

‘That,’ Alicia said proudly, ‘is an Occamy. A very young one. Hatched this morning! I haven’t had time yet to bring it anywhere safe so I kept her in my bag. Occamy’s are choranaptyxic you know. They grow or shrink to fit the available space. A shoulder bag-sized Occamy I can handle, but not a classroom-sized one. I figured I best bring her to Hagrid. Even if he isn’t going to like it.’ The last sentence she mumbled so quietly a normal person wouldn’t hear it, but Remus did. He wondered what she meant by that comment, when he looked up and saw something disturbing.

‘What is that, Miss Doreen?’ he asked seriously.

She turned her big eyes on him, hoping he wouldn’t pursue the subject. ‘What, professor?’

His hand slowly went to her neck. He touched her skin and heard her inhale sharply. Gently, he pulled her collar down a bit more to reveal what he had feared. Her neck was covered in bruises.

‘ _That,’_ Remus whispered sharply.

Alicia pulled back out of his grasp. Apart from his shock and anger at his discovery, he was a bit sad to lose the skin-on-skin contact with her. She tried to hide the marks more and couldn’t face him when she explained. ‘I…might have gotten into a fight yesterday.’

‘A fight? It looks like someone tried to strangle you!’ he yelled. She didn’t respond to this aggressive tone, so he calmed himself down. ‘Alicia, if someone is hurting you…A classmate or a friend-,’

‘No! No it’s nothing like that. Please professor, believe me,’ she said quickly. She looked him in the eye now. The embarrassment was gone. There was a spark in her gaze now. Defiant and angry. ‘I did it for Sarah. I was in the Three Broomsticks and overheard some wizards gloating about their rare objects for trade. I noticed the Occamy egg, a very valuable object indeed, but still with a living creature inside. So I did what had to be done. I gambled, and lost. So I stole the egg. But he noticed and tried to strangle me. Luckily Madam Rosmerta didn’t like a fight in her bar so she threw him out and I escaped. So you see, it’s fine now! Sarah is saved, I’m fine and those creeps will be gone shortly! Nothing to worry about.’

Remus didn’t know how to respond. He rolled right back into his teacher role as he said: ‘You took an uncalculated risk. It could have ended way worse with a bit of bad luck. You should think more deeply before you do such reckless things. Do you understand?’

She stared at him. It wasn’t an angry stare. It was hard to say what was on her mind. Maybe she was perplexed? ‘Yes professor,’ she said eventually.

A silence fell between the two. Sarah the Occamy was screeching from the bag, hoping to get in some more comfortable environment. Remus took a deep breath. ‘Well I guess I better escort you to Hagrid then. Make sure little…Sarah doesn’t get out and grow to a dragon-size. Would that be agreeable with you, Miss Doreen?’

Now it was her turn to stare him down for a moment. He noticed how her eyes roamed from his face to his chest, all the way down and up again. Then she had a cheeky smirk on her face. ‘When we are alone, you can call me Alicia if you like. And yes, I would love to be escorted to the grounds. Most kind of you Professor Lupin.’

Remus couldn’t help the mischievous thoughts in his mind. ‘Alright then, Alicia. Let’s go.’

* * *

It was weird to walk around the castle with a teacher. Of course she had been escorted short distances by teachers, or followed one to ask a question, but to walk from the top of a tower all the way to the grounds were Hagrid lived was quite the venture. Suddenly Alicia was unsure about everything she did. Did she walk too close to him? Was her shirt all buttoned up? Could she look at him or should she look ahead? Could she even ask him questions? Soon enough the silence became awkward to her so she decided to at least start a conversation.

‘Are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?’ she tried. The professor looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and a little smile. Alicia suddenly realised that it sounded like she asked him out on a date.

‘No, wait. I didn’t mean it to sound like…’ She said, trailing off.

‘To sound like what?’ he asked. For a moment Alicia thought she had misread his smile but then she noticed his smirk only growing wider. He wanted her to say it. _Merlin’s beard he is driving me to insanity._ ‘To sound like…I was asking you to go with me. I was just trying to start a conversation.’

He chuckled and Alicia decided she _really_ liked to hear him laugh. ‘Glad that is clarified then Miss…Alicia. I was thinking about going to Hogsmeade yes. It has been a while since I visited Honeydukes or Zonko’s. I used to buy so much at those stores when I was a student.’

Alicia huffed. ‘Zonko’s. Such a waste of money. No, I’ll leave that to the tricksters and clowns of the school.’ The professor looked up at her again. ‘Not a prankster then, are you? Never hexed a student or released a creature in a classroom?’

Alicia laughed. ‘Sounds like you have some experience there, professor! Did you do a lot of pranks back then?’ He turned his face away and she could hear him chuckle again. ‘I guess you could say that. I wasn’t the worst though. My friends, they loved to be nuisances. But I wasn’t completely innocent.’ Alicia could see that, a younger, even more handsome version of this man strutting around the castle, getting other people into trouble. She already felt like he was getting her into trouble now. _Wait, back up. Did you just confess you think he is handsome?_ Alicia rolled her eyes at her inner dialogue. ‘Tell me. What did you do?’

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked up as they waited for the staircase to reach its destination. ‘I enchanted suits of armour to follow first-years around for a day, I changed the robe colours of others more times than I can count and once I convinced Professor Slughorn that someone was stuck in his mirror and he stared at it for a week.’ Alicia gave him an incredulous look before bursting out in laughter. He joined in and together they looked a little insane. Some students passed them by with questionable looks.

The laughter subsided and they continued on their way. They had already run into three people who greeted Alicia automatically, before realising she was with a teacher. When a Slytherin boy blocked their way on the last staircase down he did notice she wasn’t alone, but continued as if she was.

‘Alicia! Good to see you. Me and some others wanted to thank you for your help with the fire crab last week.’ While he rummaged around in his robes Alicia looked over at the professor, as if saying _told you so._ The Slytherin was very nervous, his hand shook as he held out an envelope. ‘It’s a gift card you can use at Honeydukes and Zonko’s. We all chipped in.’ Alicia was touched by the gift. ‘Thank you Damian! That is so nice of you guys! It was really nothing though.’ Damian hesitated a moment but then stepped forward to hug the girl. She was taken by surprise but returned the hug. She could feel Professor Lupin’s eyes burning in her back.

When he let go he hurried off quickly. ‘Alicia straightened her clothes a bit and cleared her throat. ‘Well, I guess the common stereotype of the Slytherins is not so true after all. And I’ll be spending all of this at Honeydukes. They have the best chocolate.’

The professor chuckled again as they continued to walk. They reached the end of the castle by this point and walked outside. It was a nice autumn day, with some lingering heat from the summer past. ‘You seem quite popular by all houses. On our trip down here I have seen Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Slytherins greeting you. No Gryffindors though. Anything personal?’

Alicia wondered when he had completely given up on being professional, but she didn’t mind. ‘Well to be completely honest, I don’t particularly like the Gryffindor types. I clash with their personality traits.’

The professor raised an eyebrow. ‘How so?’

‘Gryffindors pretend to have a hero-complex. They feel like being placed in Gryffindor is an achievement alone and now they don’t have to do anything to prove themselves. The idea of the house is obviously the opposite, but the problem with most of them is that they are just…’ Alicia struggled to say what she wanted to say in a nice way. He gave her a funny expression. ‘Spit it out.’

‘They are pretentious jerks,’ Alicia said in all honesty.

Apparently, this made him laugh. ‘Well, I can’t say I don’t know a Gryffindor or two that live up to that description. But what about Ravenclaws then? Are you all studious introverts that care only about grades?’

Alicia actually jumped in front of the DADA professor, blocking his path. He was surprised by her quick movement and her heated expression. ‘Now _that_ is a misconception mostly created by Gryffindors! They don’t have any idea what truly Ravenclaw behaviour is! Because they don’t care, because they think they are number one in everything. I can name you a Ravenclaw that is so lost in his idea to create an de-aging potion that he is failing half his classes. I can name you a couple of Ravenclaw girls that have revolutionary ideas about the Ministry of Magic but can’t even cast _Expelliarmus_ in their sixth year! I can name a Ravenclaw that is so intent on becoming the next History of Magic professor he gives lectures that are better than the classes from Professor Binns. Ravenclaws are curious, creative and interested in a wide variety of subjects and stories. Now name me a Gryffindor that is actually as they are supposed to be. Humble, courageous but not stupid and an over-achiever in school. And possibly a bit mischievous.’

Her stance was rigid. She stared the professor down that was at least five inches taller than her. Despite the fire coming from the girl, Professor Lupin didn’t waver. ‘I can name one,’ he replied, with that same _sexy_ smirk on his face.

Suddenly, Alicia realised what she had been missing. What he was smirking about. She shrunk a bit in her spot, the deviant fire returning to a low rumble. ‘You were a Gryffindor, weren’t you?’

‘Yep,’ he replied with a plopping P.

For a long minute, neither knew what to say or do next. Alicia felt stupid, but at the same time it was so silly. Then she started laughing. What started as a little giggle turned quickly into a full-on laughing fit. Professor Lupin seemed to have the same idea. There they stood in the middle of the wooden bridge between the castle and the grounds, laughing into the open air like two maniacs.

‘I’m such an idiot. You were dropping hints from the start!’ Alicia managed to say between bursts of laugher. ‘I was trying to push you,’ he took in a ragged breath, ‘to say something very insulting. I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself.’ After a couple more minutes the laugher died down. Alicia was leaning against the side of the bridge, holding a wooden pole in one hand and her stomach in the other. Professor Lupin stood quite close to her, wiping away a tear. Once the laughing had gone back to soft giggles, they looked at each other again. Alicia just didn’t seem able to keep her eyes from lingering over this extraordinary man. He seemed to notice and dropped his gaze shyly.

‘I guess you are a true Gryffindor then. My apologies for my prejudice,’ she said in a low voice. He looked back up at her, with a new expression on his face. His eyes looked dark, there was a flicker of gold in them. His pupils looked dilated. Overall, he looked hungry. Alicia realised that the tone she had used was somewhat seductive. _Oh dear, this is starting to get serious._ The look in his eyes was gone a moment later. ‘You are forgiven. I guess there is just a lot more to you and me than we know.’

Alicia shrugged. ‘Well obviously. This is our second meeting. An extraordinary one, but still the second time I see you.’ He smiled at that and mumbled something she didn’t quite catch. She only made out _hope_ and _more._ Then he set off to continue their journey and Alicia followed.

After a walk that felt like ages they arrived at Hagrid’s house. Outside were tables set up and students were studying Bowtruckles. Hagrid looked up from the table to see the two newcomers. He waved at first, but had a questioning look on his face on seeing two unlikely people together.

‘Professor Lupin! Good to see you. And Alicia, you here too?’ Hagrid greeted. Some students looked up at her and Alicia felt uncomfortable. Nevertheless she tried to hide it. ‘Hey Hagrid. I have something for you. I hope you are going to like it. Please don’t yell at me.’

Hagrid seemed even more surprised by this, but when Alicia showed the Occamy to Hagrid he seemed to understand. His first reaction was one of awe, for he had never seen an Occamy before. Then a storm crossed his features.

‘You did it. You actually went ahead and did exactly what I told you _not_ to do!’ Hagrid shouted. A startled girl looked up from her Bowtruckle, and even the little green fellow seemed to be looking at Hagrid. Alicia glanced quickly at Professor Lupin, hoping he would help her. At the sight of her helpless gaze he stepped forward and placed a hand on Hagrid’s back. ‘Why don’t we go inside and take care of this?’ he suggested as he led Hagrid to his hut. He also assured the students that their Care of Magical Creatures professor would return shortly and beckoned Alicia to follow them.

Once inside, Hagrid sat down and dropped his face in his hands. He sighed deeply. Alicia felt guilty, looking at him worry about her. ‘Did you get hurt?’ was all he asked.

Alicia looked up at Professor Lupin, wondering whether she should tell the truth. After a moment he shook his head slightly. ‘No Hagrid. I was very sneaky. They didn’t notice the egg missing until I was outside. I will not go to Hogsmeade this weekend and ask some friends to look out for these men. Once they leave town, I can return. I know you told me not to, and I am sorry I didn’t listen. But just look at little Sarah over here! She hatched a couple of hours ago, all happy and healthy.’

It was maybe a low thing to do, but she knew Hagrid was always distracted by magical beasts. So she dropped the bag on the table in front of him and let him look at the tiny creature. It squeaked at him for good measure. Hagrid went right into mommy-mode and started cooing the little beast. Alicia smiled at the sight. ‘I figured, you might know a place for her. And maybe we can send out some letters to see if anyone wishes to take her back to India.’

Professor Lupin suddenly moved to a corner of the room where Hagrid had stacked some bamboo. ‘Can I use this?’ he asked. Hagrid nodded. He swept his wand around with a couple of complex spells, and the bamboo sticks started to shift and intertwine. Within a short while it formed an oval shape that resembled a nest. He waved his wand at some hay next and filled the nest with soft stuffing.

‘Maybe this can work for now?’ he asked politely, placing the nest in a less-cluttered corner of the house. Hagrid nodded and Alicia could see he was touched. Alicia scooped up the Occamy from her bag, careful not to get bitten, and brought it over to the nest. It slithered out of her hands into the nest and seemed comfortable there. Hagrid took a piece of meat and started feeding the creature. Alicia wondered who looked more happy, the Occamy or its mommy.

‘That’s a cutie, isn’t she?’ Hagrid said proudly. ‘Alright, she will stay here. I will write some letters to good people who might make a trip to the East. I still don’t approve of what you did, but I understand why you did it. Now, I best return to my class.’

Alicia looked up at him with a sorry expression. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered before giving him a big hug. ‘Alright, alright,’ he mumbled before leaving the house. When he closed the door Alicia realised she was once again alone with Professor Lupin. When she looked over at him, she noticed he had been looking at her too. Swiftly he pretended to look at the Occamy who was settling in her new home. She cleared her throat to get his attention back.

‘Thank you for helping,’ she told him.

‘No problem Alicia. But I will not cover up for you again. Definitely not if you keep getting yourself hurt. You understand that?’ He looked stern, not looking to be amused right now.

She cast her eyes down and nodded. ‘Yes professor. It was really an “on the spur of the moment” kind of deal. If I had thought the consequences through I probably wouldn’t have done it. I just have those moments when it involves magical creatures. I work on instinct.’

A soft chuckle made her look up. ‘Guess you could say you had a Gryffindor moment.’ She wanted to scold him for that, but knew she couldn’t. If it had been a friend or classmate she would have hit him in the arm and told him to shut up. _But you are still talking to a teacher, remember?_ So she just nodded and dropped it.

Professor Lupin looked up at the clock. ‘I guess we should go back to the castle, before people start missing you.’

She took her bag from the table and absently said: ‘And you.’ In response, he smiled sadly and opened the door.


	4. Sickness and wounds

The studying conditions in the Ravenclaw common room were perfect, per usual. A fire cracked in the fireplace, soft rain trickled down the massive windows and most students were talking quietly or had at least cast spells to prevent others from hearing them. A pot of hot tea was floating around the room, filling up cups.

However, all the peace and quiet weren’t enough to make Alicia focus on the text she was trying to read. Her mind was filled with a person. Filled with the experience they shared today. Filled with all the new things she knew about him now. She had a basic idea of his personality and morals. She knew they shared a certain love of literature. She knew he was a mischievous man who might twist a rule or two. _Like getting close to a student?_

It was the funniest thing. Alicia expected her head to fight these disturbing thoughts. She expected to be conflicted and scold herself for thinking these very wrong things about her teacher. But she didn’t. That voice existed, but it was just very small. Like she had already decided it wasn’t going to stop her. She wondered how far she would go before she felt that what she did was wrong.

And as it turned out, Alicia wasn’t the only one wondering that. Michelle was sitting across from Alicia in a comfortable big chair. Their other two friends, Elena and Sophia, were sharing the couch. They formed half a circle around the fireplace. Michelle looked over the edge of her book. Alicia pretended to be reading, but she didn’t fool Michelle.

‘So how come half the school is talking about you and Professor Lupin?’ she asked in a nonchalant tone.

Alicia nearly choked on her tea. The other two friends looked up from their homework as well. Alicia looked at all her friends, and realised they had been waiting to bring up the subject for some time.

‘Half the school? Wow I’m more popular than ever,’ she joked, hoping it would break the tension a bit. It didn’t.

‘Honestly Nessie! Don’t change the subject. Why were you strolling around the castle with the professor?’ Sophia chimed in, seemingly bursting with curiosity. Elena slammed her book shut and scooted forward on the couch. ‘Where did you go? Somewhere private?’

Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Alright, like I said last time, nothing happened what you think happened. What, do you really expected me to see a new professor twice and decide to follow him to a broom closet?’

Michelle sighed. ‘No, but this is the second time you spend time alone with him. All we say is that it is…a bit weird.’ Alicia stared at her friend and realised they were trying to protect her. It was sweet. She placed her book on the table and leaned forward, giving Michelle her full attention. ‘Michelle, I understand what you mean. It was odd for me too when he asked me to stay. But it was about a book we spoke off last week. A very normal conversation, nothing personal.’ She swallowed quickly, trying not to show she was lying. ‘Then he noticed the Occamy in my bag I showed you this morning. He didn’t think it was safe to let me wander the school alone with that beastie, so he escorted me to Hagrid. You will be happy to know that this night I _won’t_ hide a magical creature in our dorm.’

Michelle started nodding, placing the pieces of the puzzle in her head and realising Alicia was telling the truth…mostly. Alicia leaned back and looked around the room. ‘As for people talking, you know I hate gossip and never indulge in it. I therefore hate to hear gossip about me, because most of it isn’t true. Someone sees me walking with a professor and before you know it there is a story about us sneaking in a closet together. That’s one thing that sets my teeth on edge about this school.’

The three friends knew this was a touchy subject for Alicia. In their third year Alicia had been bullied a lot. People started calling her a freak for spending more time with animals that humans. Girls laughed at her whenever she walked into the castle with dirt on her hands or branches in her hair.

That year, Alicia had closed herself off so much that she stopped spending time with her friends. She had been selfish in doing so, because her friends never bullied her or cared what she looked like. After the summer break Alicia had realised she was pushing her friends away, and apologized. But gossip and bullying were still hard to deal with for her.

‘Alright, I didn’t mean I actually believed it,’ Elena said with a nervous laugh. ‘But I was just thinking... It would be very weird.’

Sophia gave her friend a questioning look. ‘What do you mean? Alicia snogging a teacher?’

Alicia rolled her eyes, but internally burned up with awkwardness. Elena chuckled and looked between her friends. ‘Well yeah, with _that_ teacher! He isn’t even handsome or anything! If you were snogging a teacher, you might as well go for an attractive one.’ There was an awkward silence from Michelle and Alicia but Sophia started giggling. ‘You are right. I mean have you seen his _face_ ….who could look at that every day?’

As the two girls continued giggling and pointing out things they disliked about Professor Lupin “Does he own clothes that aren’t beige?” Alicia felt herself start to boil. They were so superficial sometimes, Sophia and Elena. She did like the girls and spend good time with them over the years, but they could be so…simple. However she realised she couldn’t oppose them right now, not when they were already way to close to the truth. The best thing she could do was play along.

‘So who would you do then Elena? I bet Professor Snape is your type. All dark and mysterious,’ Alicia said. She did an imitation of Elena fainting in front of their potion professor and before she knew it they were completely distracted and all laughing. Except for Michelle, who had noticed Alicia’s dark expression.

* * *

Time passed quickly the next week. Alicia had her mind full of exams and papers. The pressure of being in her last year constantly resurfaced. She had random sad moments but also felt very happy about tiny things. All in all, she knew she was going to miss the safety of being in school.

She had seen Professor Lupin three times that week, passing in the hallways. He always gave her and her friends friendly smiles as he passed. The first time Sophia still gave her a look, but after that they became bored with pestering Alicia. Alicia was happy when that stopped, but she did feel a bit uneasy when the professor didn’t give her second glances. She expected them, but he would make a big deal out of turning around and not looking back. Alicia felt upset about that. She wanted him to look at her twice.

Needless to say, she was excited about the third Defence Against the Dark Arts class of the year.

‘He’s running late,’ Michelle stated as she glanced at her watch. Alicia looked around. Everyone was already seated, books open and quills at the ready, but there was no Professor Lupin to be found. Michelle’s next statement surprised her. ‘He was also not at breakfast this morning. I noticed the empty seat next to Professor Flitwick. Do you think he is gone for the day? They should have prepared us, shouldn’t they? I have a Divination paper to finish.’

Alicia was about to open her mouth to respond, when the door slammed open and someone walked inside at a brisk pace. Alicia had difficulty at first to identify the person, but the billowing black cape gave him away. He came at a halt in front of the class.

‘Turn to page 194,’ Professor Snape said in his slow, threatening voice. For a moment, everyone was too paralyzed to do or say anything. Everyone just stared at their potion professor. After a moment the sound of turning pages could be heard through the classroom.

A brave Hufflepuff boy raised his hand. ‘Sir, where is Professor Lupin?’

Snape didn’t seem happy to reply. He started strolling around the room to urge people to open their books. ‘Professor Lupin is at the moment incapable of teaching. Until he feels better I will conduct his classes. Now hurry up and open your books at page 194.’

Alicia sighed and accepted this day to be dreadful. She never had a personal problem with Professor Snape, but to say she enjoyed his classes would be a stretch. That man seemed to hold a grudge against life itself. She felt like he could drain the energy right out of her.

Quite the contrary with their missing professor.

After a DADA class that had never felt so devoid of positive energy Alicia ached to get some lunch in her stomach and forget the entire deal.

‘Merlin’s beard! Like a double potions class on Friday isn’t enough Snape for the week! I hope Professor Lupin comes back quickly because I can’t handle this,’ Elena complained. The other three nodded. ‘Couldn’t agree more.’

While they were having lunch and discussing the mountain of homework Professor Snape had addressed them, Alicia couldn’t help but stare at the empty seat at the head table. Where was he? Was he sick? _Do I have anything to do with it?_ A terrible thought hit her. What if he doesn’t want to teach me anymore, and is therefore giving up our classes? She panicked internally at that thought. She looked around until she spotted someone that wasn’t in her class. She turned quickly and suddenly stood in front of a boy.

‘Hello,’ she said quickly.

‘Oh! Nessie, hi. Is it okay if I call you Nessie? I heard people calling you that,’ the boy replied nervously. It took Alicia a moment to realise it was the same Slytherin boy who spoke to her that day she was walking around with Professor Lupin.

‘It’s fine Damian, it’s not an insult or anything. Let’s build my legend, shall we?’ She earned a smile for that. ‘Tell me, Damian, did you already have DADA this week?’

Damian seemed surprised by that question. ‘Yes. Yesterday.’

‘Did Professor Lupin teach you?’ she asked, trying to sound as neutral as she could manage.

Damian shrugged. ‘No, it was Professor Snape. He said something about Professor Lupin being gone for a couple of days and he took over.’

A huge relief washed over Alicia. _Good, it isn’t about me._ But the worry wasn’t gone, because what was the reason then? How sick was he?

With a quick thanks to Damian she turned to sit back down. The three girls had heard their conversation, but Alicia waved it off, saying she just wondered how long Professor Lupin had been gone. Now her mind was set on figuring out what was wrong with him.

* * *

On that Saturday there was a Quidditch match; Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor. As most of the students were obsessed with the sport and wanted good seats early, the Great Hall was mostly empty by nine thirty in the morning. However, Alicia wasn’t one of those enthusiasts. She enjoyed watching a game, but she could never keep her attention on it for long. She decided on letting the crowd go outside first, and then she would follow. She intended on taking a stroll in the forest and watching the game from afar. The sound of the commentator often carried a long way anyway.

She was slowly eating the last bites of her breakfast while reading the _Daily Prophet_. She was lost in the story about Sirius Black, who seemed to be spotted in a town not far from Hogwarts. So lost, that she didn’t notice the footsteps behind her that came to a stop.

‘Good morning.’

Alicia choked on a piece of apple. She made a dramatic attempt to let it slide down her throat and then swallowed some water to help get it down. With tears in her eyes she looked up at the familiar face of Professor Lupin.

‘Hi,’ she said with a hoarse voice. She cleared her throat a couple more times. ‘You surprised me.’

He chuckled. ‘That much was clear, yes. I am sorry for scaring you. Did you think Sirius Black was behind you?’ Alicia laughed airily. ‘To be fair, yes. I was very lost in this story. It seems someone saw him, then turned around and he was gone. No one saw him after that. He must be a really quick and quiet apparator. Pretty scary huh?’

She put the newspaper down and really looked up at him. Now that she looked him in the eye, she noticed all the things that were different. He looked sick, or very tired. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin was paler than usual. His hair was untidier and his eyes looked restless. Also, he supported his weight on a cane.

‘Merlin’s beard what happened to you?! Please sit down, you look exhausted,’ she said, standing up to push his shoulders down. He complied in the end and sat down with a groan. ‘Yes, I don’t look my best, do I?’ Alicia looked him over, wondering why he spoke so lightly of his condition. ‘You look like you should be in the Hospital Wing.’

He waved her concern away. ‘I just got out of there. I needed some air after being in there for two days. Madame Pomfrey can drive me up the wall sometimes.’ Alicia gave him a questioning look. He looked at her, and she was once more lost in his eyes. Suddenly, she saw way more than the humorous professor. She saw a tired and hurt man, who had been through so much it reflected in his sad eyes. More than anything she wanted to reach out and comfort him, but luckily enough she had enough sense to know that wasn’t a good idea. The Hall was basically empty, but not completely.

‘What happened to you?’ she asked in the end. The professor looked away again. ‘I get awfully sick sometimes. It is a condition I’ve been living with my entire life. I can’t tell you anything more about it, I’m sorry.’

 _How awful it must be to be sick all the time._ ‘Sounds terrible.’

He gave her another funny look. ‘So how was your class with Professor Snape?’ Alicia rolled her eyes at that. ‘I really shouldn’t tell you how I feel about that class, or you will dock house points from me. Let’s just say I missed you.’

There it was again, that cocky smirk. He knew she had slipped up and he _loved_ it.

‘No, I mean I missed you as a teacher. Our entire class missed you. I remember specifically someone else who said-,’

‘Alicia?’ he interrupted. The girl in question held her breath mid-sentence. ‘Yeah?’

‘I understand what you mean,’ he replied with that smirk still in place. She groaned. ‘Well then don’t look at me like that!’

‘Like what?’ he asked, all innocent.

‘Like I said something that implies way more than the simple statement I’m trying to make. You already did this to me twice,’ she complained.

‘What can I say, I am a mischievous man.’

Alicia had to try very hard not to respond to that too strongly. In another context, those would be the only words she needed to hear from him. Gosh, how amazing would it be if he said those words when they were somewhere in private. When they had just discussed their growing affection for one another. When she had just asked if he thought what they did was wrong….

A throat being cleared pulled her out of her fantasy. She stood up quickly, offering a hand to her professor. ‘You said you needed some air right? Are you in for a walk? We could see the match from a distance and do something productive in the meantime.’

He gave her a questioning look as he took her hand to stand up. ‘And what productive activity will we take part in?’ She smiled happily at him. ‘Well, We’ll be taking care of Sarah of course!’

* * *

Remus Lupin found himself walking next to the bubbly Ravenclaw girl for the second time that year. He stayed half a step behind her so she wouldn’t see too clearly that he was struggling. The full moon had been four nights ago but he still felt the aftermath of it. It had been the first time he took the wolfsbane potion that Severus had made him, and he had to admit he was disappointed. With all this talk about the great cure for the transformation he had expected it to go smoothly and to make a recovery quicker than usual. The pain and exhaustion afterwards were no less than usual.. However, he was still himself mentally as he transformed into the monster. And for that, he was very grateful.

He wondered how long it would take before people started noticing a pattern to his sick days. For now only Professor Dumbledore and Severus knew about him. But something told him his secret would soon be shared by more. Either because of Severus that would “accidentally” slip the information or because some students would figure it out.

Alicia for example. The way she looked at him just now had him nearly turn around and walk away. She could clearly see he wasn’t well, and she seemed to care. Despite the fear of her knowing his secret, he also felt warm inside at the thought that someone cared about his wellbeing. It had been a while since he felt that.

They arrived at Hagrid’s house after a walk in silence. At first it felt awkward, but soon he came to realise she wasn’t talking because she already felt comfortable around him. And, he realised, he felt comfortable with her too.

A loud cheering came from the West. Alicia stopped walking and turned to face the noise. Remus stopped as well and looked over the green hills to see the Quidditch pitch in the distance.

‘Looks like Gryffindor just scored,’ Alicia remarked. She held a hand up to her face to block the sunlight. ‘I think I saw a flash of red across the stands.’ Remus stood next to her and squinted at the field in the distance. ‘I think your eyes are keener than mine,’ he grunted.

That made her giggle. ‘Did you ever play?’ she asked.

Remus shook his head. ‘No, but my friends did. I would get murdered if I ever missed a game or didn’t cheer hard enough for them to hear it. Personally, the sport never interested me much.’ He continued to peek in the distance as he saw her face him in the corner of his eye. He didn’t mind her watching him. ‘Those friends, they were the pranksters too, right? Some friends you had.’

He chuckled. ‘They were a lot to handle, yes. But we were very close, the four of us.’

‘What happened to them?’ she asked. The question was simple and reasonable. Yet she also asked it carefully, probably expecting a less-than-happy-ever-after. And what a story he could tell her. _But maybe mentioning that you once were friends with a currently wanted murderer wasn’t the best thing to say._

‘The war happened. We all fought in it. Two of them died. The other…is lost.’

Even after all these years, he couldn’t talk about the events that happened on that unfortunate Halloween evening. He couldn’t think back on the morning after when he found out what had happened without a deep sadness settling in his bones. He couldn’t look her in the eye, so he kept staring ahead, afraid tears would fall. Then he suddenly felt a warm, soft hand slip into his. Now he did look down at their intertwined hands, before he dared to look her in the eye. Her eyes were big and full of pity.

‘I’m sorry. Have…have you been alone ever since?’ she asked carefully. Remus hadn’t expected her to figure that out so quickly, but somehow he wasn’t surprised either. He just nodded as he looked down again.

They stood there, hand in hand watching the Quidditch game from afar. There was a sad load to the silence between them, but it was also comforting. All these years, he hadn’t allowed himself to think too much on his most painful memories. He had bottled them up, because what good came from crying in an empty house? But now, it felt like he could channel those feelings through their interlocked hands. Like he could send away part of the pain and get some warmth and happiness in return. As he stood there, he allowed himself to think about that morning, when he was in a small muggle town in the North of England. He went there with a wizard whose name he couldn’t remember. They were out on a mission to protect a half-blood family that was in danger of being killed by the Death Eaters, when the news hit them. It was told in a cheerful way, because the war was over. The other Order member who had send their Patronus to bring the news had sounded so relieved to say that Voldemort was finally dead. At first they were cheering, before the second part of the message started.

_He died trying to kill a boy. But the boy survived and he died! It was James and Lily’s son who did it. Harry. Harry Potter. He will grow up being famous. Famous…but unfortunately an orphan._

Remus didn’t even crash down in that moment. He just couldn’t believe it. So he rushed back to find an empty, cold house in Godric’s Hollow. Dumbledore found him there and confirmed the news: James and Lily were dead. At that moment Remus thought he had never felt so much pain in his life. He just wanted to find Sirius and Peter and grieve together. Little did he know the pain was only going to get worse.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. Alicia looked up at him as he wiped his tears away quickly and let go of her hand. He cleared his throat and looked at her. ‘Shall we go to the Occamy then?’ he said with a sad smile.

* * *

Hagrid wasn’t home today, and Alicia was secretly glad. They took out little Sarah and took her to the edge of the Black Lake. They had discovered that the creature loved playing around in the water, where she grew no bigger than a medium sized dog. She seemed to realise that a bigger size wasn’t in her advantage, and it made everything so much easier.

Having something to distract the both of them made the depressed atmosphere from earlier go away. Professor Lupin was smiling whenever the creature got excited. Alicia loved to see him smile. She knew that earlier he went into a deep, dark place. She didn’t really know what to do, so she decided to simply be there for him. She didn’t have to say anything, as long as he knew he wasn’t alone.

Something else happened in that time. When he had been lost in thought, so had she. And what she was thinking about was how strange her connection to Professor Lupin really was. At first a student who was late, then someone with a shared book interest, to a weird flirtatious zone, only to find themselves being great support to one another. Alicia couldn’t stop her fascination for this man anymore.

She picked up a flat stone and skipped it across the waterline. Sarah thought it to be a snack and dove after it, only to return the stone. Apparently, she was playing fetch now with an Occamy.

‘How are you feeling?’ she asked, partly distracted by throwing pebbles.

He looked up from the book he was trying to read. ‘Just fine. How about you?’

She huffed. ‘I don’t mean in the small-talk kind of way, professor. I mean your physical condition. Don’t think I didn’t notice that limp you suddenly developed.’ She stopped throwing pebbles to look at him. He closed his book and looked down with a frown. He was thinking hard on how to answer.

‘Alicia, I appreciate your concern, but I can’t tell you those personal details,’ he finally said. She noticed he couldn’t look her in the eye when he said it. It pissed her off. She took a handful of pebbles and started throwing them at a rapid pace as she talked.

‘I had a lung infection when I was five,’ she said in-between throws. He tried to say something but she cut him off. ‘I have a scar on my leg from the time I tried to handle a bunch of gnomes on my own that had taken over our garden. I fell on a piece of rock and tore most of my left leg open.’

This time, he simply watched her, staying silent.

‘In my fourth year at Hogwarts I saved a student from being attacked by an overgrown kelpie in this lake, but everyone failed to notice that it tried to grab me too and I had scratches on my legs for half the schoolyear. As you noticed, two weeks ago I was nearly strangled by some strangers because I wanted to save a life.’ She stopped talking and just looked at the happy creature whose live she saved.

After she remained silent for a moment, Professor Lupin finally spoke. ‘What are you trying to say, Alicia? That you are self-destructive?’

It took a lot of courage to say what she really wanted to say, but she had too. She stopped playing with Sarah and walked up to him. Once she stood in front of him, he looked up from his sitting position with a curious look on his face. There was a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. It made him look mischievous.

‘What I am trying to say is, that I feel like we are past the point of “that information is classified”. I could share nearly everything with you, because I trust you. Don’t you trust me?’ She had said it before she could help herself. She had thrown everything on the line now. _What are you thinking?! This is waaay too soon! He is going to turn his back on you, you’ll see._

Professor Lupin stowed the book away in a pocket of his worn coat and raised up from his seat. He gave her an protruding look. She could only guess – or hope – what he was thinking as they were standing this close to one another, all alone in the woods. Alicia couldn’t help swallowing as she felt more and more nervous by his silence.

Before either of them could do anything, both wizard and witch were hit by an enormous sensation of cold. Within two seconds Alicia could see her breath in the air and felt her nose and fingers stinging. She looked up to see a group of four dementors gliding silently over the lake. One of them closed in on them and the lake started to freeze.

Then Alicia realised Sarah was still playing in the water and would get frozen too. Without thinking, she rushed in the shallows to swoop up the creature in her arms. She looked down at the brilliantly coloured Occamy, and realised she couldn’t see anything else anymore. Her world had turned to black. She started breathing heavily in an attempt to get her senses back but it was like her body had shut down. Apart from the darkness she also felt a deep sadness. She lost her balance and fell into the cold water.

It was hard at that point to determine what was real and what wasn’t. She felt like a swarm of bees was buzzing around her head. But she also heard a voice, someone shouting fiercely. Then part of the darkness was gone, and a brilliant blueish light appeared on her left. Finally, it felt like she could breathe again.

‘Alicia get back behind me!’

She obeyed without thinking, scrambling back to her feet and stepping back on the pebbled beach. She could clearly see her professor now, warding off a dementor with a Patronus charm. From this angle it was hard to make out the shape, but he had a strong and big animal as his Patronus. Sarah was shuddering in her arms and she clutched the creature to her chest.

After an agonizing long moment the dementor gave up and flew away. The light from Professor Lupin’s wand dimmed out and the air seemed to lighten and warm up. She watched him as he turned around and rushed over to her. His hands found her upper arms, and he checked her over for injuries.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked frantically.

A part of her wanted to be funny, but she just couldn’t find the strength for it. She just nodded.

‘I will have a word with Professor Dumbledore about this. These dementors are getting way to close to students and teachers. They should have already sensed that neither of us is Sirius Black.’

Alicia could still feel the darkness and sadness that the dementors left her with. She never wanted to experience that again. It made her bitter as she shifted Sarah in her arms and started walking back to Hagrid’s house. ‘I hope they find Black soon. Then at least we will be rid of those monsters.’

The professor looked sad, but she didn’t notice it.


	5. Nifflers

After her encounter with the dementor, Alicia stayed in the castle. She still dared to go out to Hagrid on occasion but only if she was sure that he was there. Her trips into the forest had to wait for a while, as well as her long walks in the weekends. The encounter had shaken her more than she thought. Her friends were really nice to her too. They realised Alicia wasn’t in a happy place and they decided to be supportive and stop pestering her.

Alicia also decided she was getting angry with Sirius Black. He was closing in on Hogwarts. What idiot would escape prison and then go to the most heavily guarded place in Britain? It was his fault the dementors were here. She couldn’t wait for him to get captured.

As for her DADA teacher, they didn’t have any contact outside the classroom for a couple of weeks. Alicia was sure this was his way of answering her question: no he did not trust her and he did not need her. He probably decided that the school rules were important after all and he didn’t want her to be more than one of his students. She was hurt by this. There was still hope within her that he would prove her wrong. The first week she would linger in the classroom in the hopes he would call her name, but he didn’t. The next week she was the first one out the door. She had given up. Michelle seemed to notice Alicia’s odd behaviour, but because of the dementor incident she decided not to say anything. 

The good news out of all of this misery, was that she could focus better on schoolwork. She wanted to be distracted so desperately that she kept studying almost all the time. Sophia did the same, but she was simply scared she would not get her NEWTS. One day Alicia found herself in the library with Sophia and Michelle, when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

‘Excuse me, Alicia is it? Alicia Doreen?’ a whispering voice said. Alicia turned around to look at the intruder.

‘Yes. How can I help you?’ she asked.

The girl with the curly wild hair sat down in a chair next to her and dropped a heavy volume of _The Monster book of monsters_ on the table. She quickly tugged a golden necklace under her robes.

‘I’m Hermione Granger. I take Care of Magical Creatures for the first time this year and….well,’ Hermione sighed deeply, ‘And I’m stuck on a subject. I have tried all the books in here but I can’t find what I need for the paper. I asked Professor Hagrid and he told me to ask you, because you are top of your class. I am so sorry to disturb you, but do you think you could help me?’

Alicia smiled. She had heard stories about this girl. There wasn’t a student in the school that didn’t know famous Harry Potter and his two best friends. Hermione was famous for her advanced magic and love for studying. She hadn’t actually met the girl before today, but already decided she loved her dedication.

‘Of course I will help you. Show me the problem,’ Alicia replied, scooting closer to the younger girl. Hermione looked very grateful and launched into an explanation of the problem. Michelle and Sophia looked and each other and smiled before returning to their work.

Alicia found it to be a lot of fun to work together with Hermione. She picked up on everything so quickly, even though half of it was above her year. She seemed determined to know more than she had to, and that passion these girls shared.

After a long study session the three seven-years and the third-year walked down to the Great Hall for dinner. They were lost in conversation about a thousand things, when they rounded a corner and were nearly ran over by a little herd of nifflers. The small creatures resembled a platypus combined with a mole, and were roughly the size of a guinea pig. However small, nifflers were known for creating a lot of chaos. Not to mention a group of about ten of them.

‘Whoa!’ Alicia yelped as she nearly lost her balance. The creatures scattered around the girls’ ankles and continued down the hallway. Somewhere in the distance they could already hear someone shouting for them to come back. Alicia decided to act quickly.

‘Girls, give me something shiny. Jewellery, coins, now!’ She held out a hand as she searched for her wand with the other. All girls just looked, but didn’t act. Alicia looked at Hermione. ‘Your necklace quickly! The gold one!’ Hermione shook her head. Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Ow you’ll get it back! Urgh, never mind.’

She fished out a threat from her robes and transfigured it into a golden string, long enough to roll down on the floor. When it hit the stone floor it made a distinct sound. All the nifflers suddenly stopped running and turned around with curious little eyes turned to the string.

‘Come and get it! I know you want it!’ Alicia teased, hoping they could respond to encouragement. As it turned out, nifflers really don’t need a lot of encouragement to run towards gold. Alicia spoke a quick charm over the string, and the moment they all touched it, it started whirling around them all to bind them together.

Just at that moment the infamous twin brothers Fred and George joined the scene.

‘How did you…?’ George asked, looking incredulously at the bound and struggling nifflers. Then the two looked up to face Alicia. She could have sworn Fred’s face turned a bit redder as he looked at her. ‘Nessie! Of all the people you were the one they ran into! Aren’t we lucky George?’

George poked his brother with his elbow. ‘You always feel lucky when we run into Nessie, right Fred?’ They had a little back and forth poking before Alicia spoke up. ‘Just out of curiosity, why do you have ten nifflers? Or better yet, why do you have ten nifflers on the loose?’

They looked at each other before replying simultaneously: ‘That’s a secret.’

Alicia rolled her eyes. The other girls seemed to come back from the shock of the moment. Hermione checked her bag for any missing shiny items. ‘You reacted so quick Alicia. Straight up knew what to do,’ she said, sounding impressed.

Alicia was about to launch in a speech about her amazing abilities with magical creatures when one of the creatures broke loose from the restrains and climbed up her leg. She was too late to react this time, as the creature was already on her shoulder. He opened his beak and bit down on her ear. She could feel the tiny teeth sinking into her flesh.

‘Auch!’ She yelped. As she tried to pry him loose he clamped on even harder. Tears sprung in her eyes and she started mumbling curses. ‘Someone get him _off!’_

Fred was the first to the rescue. He grabbed the niffler with one hand, while holding a coin in front of his face with the other. Soon enough the niffler released the Ravenclaw and held on tightly to its coin. George was already putting the rest of them in a cage and finally they added the last one.

‘So sorry about that Nessie! I didn’t know they could be that vicious,’ Fred apologized, his face almost the same shade as his hair.

Alicia held up her finger to her ear and they came away soaked with blood. ‘Nifflers aren’t pets, guys. You should know that! Now I better get to the Hospital Wing quickly. Nifflers can carry deceases in their saliva.’

Once again, the boys looked unknowing and guilty. She hushed them as Michelle took her to the Hospital Wing.

‘You know, I think George fancies you,’ Michelle said with a giggle.

Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Fred. You mean Fred.’

Her friend gave her a curious look. ‘You can tell them apart?’

Alicia laughed. ‘Yes I can! There are some differences in the eyes and face shape. Also Fred has a deeper voice. Why is it so hard for people to see that?’

Michelle shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I don’t pay a lot of attention to fifth-years. But you do you, honey.’ Alicia slapped her on the arm for that and for a moment she had forgotten why she was walking into the Hospital Wing.

* * *

As she could have expected, Madame Pomfrey fussed about her injury like she was dying. Too many times had Alicia walked in this place with injuries. The poor nurse had thought she was under a bad luck curse of sorts, but soon found out it had more to do with Alicia’s ability to get into trouble, mostly involving magical creatures. The niffler bite wasn’t bad at all, and it could be healed easily, but Madame Pomfrey was afraid of infection. So she told her to stay the night. If she got feverish at least the nurse would be close.

Alicia ate dinner in her bed. For the first two hours of the evening she could talk to a Hufflepuff that occupied the bed next to her. The poor girl had been the victim of a bad transfiguration spell, and was slowly becoming more human than wooden chair. But after all her limbs were back in their normal shape Alicia was left alone. Michelle came over later to bring her a book to read but left quickly afterwards. She had no idea whether she was alone, because some of the curtains were closed.

It was later that evening when a frantic Professor Flitwick came through the doors.

‘Poppy? Poppy where are you?’ he asked with his squeaky voice.

Alicia got up from her bed and walked over. ‘I think she is in her office. What is wrong, professor?’

He didn’t seem too surprised to find Alicia here. ‘Miss Doreen! You might as well know.’ Madame Pomfrey came out of her office and the two women waited for clarification.

Professor Flitwick dabbed at his forehead with a handkerchief as he started talking. ‘The castle is in lockdown. All the students are gathered in the Great Hall. We had a break-in today!’

Alicia was shocked. ‘A break-in? How so? Did they steal anything?’ The small professor shook his head. ‘No, it was not a thief! It was as we feared…Sirius Black is in the castle!’

A cold chill ran down Alicia’s spine. The hairs on the back of her neck stood upright. ‘Black in here? B-but, have they found him already?’

Once more he shook his head and sighed. ‘We are looking everywhere. It seems like he is gone again. We think he came here for-,’ He seemed to rethink how much he would tell a mere student, ‘Never you mind. Miss Doreen, I shall accompany you to the Great Hall.’

Madame Pomfrey intervened. ‘No, she cannot. She might have an infection and I need her here if it starts. We can lock the Hospital Wing as well, no one else will come in or out except emergencies.’

Her Charms professor agreed with those conditions and before Alicia knew it she was locked inside the wing, seemingly alone. She walked back to her bed and tried to get some sleep. But the thoughts of Sirius Black being in the castle made it hard to relax.

After several hours of twisting in her bed she decided it was hopeless. She pulled up a chair to the windows and looked out over the stunning view of the Forbidden Forest and the Black lake. The water reflected the moonlight perfectly. The serenity of the view calmed her down more than lying in bed could do.

She was so lost in thoughts that she jumped when she heard someone groaning. She turned around to see movement behind one of the drawn curtains. It sounded like someone was getting up from their bed. She kept watching as a hand appeared between the sheets and drew them apart. She was quite shocked to see Professor Lupin, wearing pyjamas and a robe over them, but with bare feet. He ran a hand through his untidy blonde hair and looked around. When he noticed her sitting in the chair, he came over.

‘Hello again,’ he said quietly, pulling up a chair next to her.

‘Quite surprised to see you here, professor. Were you asleep earlier?’ she asked, trying to sound casual. In her mind she summoned all the uncomfortable moments from the last four weeks. The times he talked to her in class about homework, the times they crossed paths in the hallways and barely managed to greet each other or the times he caught her looking at him during meals in the Great Hall.

He seemed to still be in a dozed state, not very aware of the casual intimacy between a teacher and a student sitting in their pyjamas, talking in the middle of the night. ‘I have been asleep for a while yes. Did I miss something?’

As she looked at him directly, she noticed a line of ink on his cheek. She chuckled and reached over to touch him. He stiffened but that didn’t stop her. ‘Well I think you fell asleep while writing because you have some ink right here.’ Her thumb found the spot on his cheek and she started rubbing it gently. With three strokes the ink came off. Then she realised her hand was cupping half of his face, with her thumb mindlessly caressing his cheek. She felt a part of his scar, where his soft skin turned rough to the touch. It took her a couple of long seconds to realise she was _really_ overstepping a line here.

She withdrew her hand and cleared her throat. ‘Sorry. It’s gone now.’

She was afraid he would scold her for that, but instead she heard a little chuckle leave his lips. ‘Thank you for your assistance. I am quite the mess these days.’

She raised an eyebrow at that remark, but he didn’t seem to want to explain further, so she dropped it. She stared at him a moment longer before realizing she still had to answer a question.

‘Yes, you did miss something by the way. We are locked in here, because Sirius Black has broken into the castle earlier tonight,’ she informed him.

He gave her a shocked look and rose from his chair. He crossed the room to the window next to his bed, and stared out through it.

‘Professor?’ she asked.

He made a little “hmm” sound as he continued to look out across the grounds. She saw his shoulders fall and his head drooped forward. ‘He shouldn’t have come here.’

She wondered what he meant by that. ‘You know what everyone is saying right? That he is here for Harry Potter? To finish what he started and to kill him?’

The professor leaned on the windowsill with his fists. He seemed to be taking deep breaths. Alicia only saw his back from where she sat so she hardly could hear him when he mumbled to himself. ‘If you dare to touch Harry I will kill you myself, Padfoot.’

‘Who is Padfoot?’ Alicia asked, rising from her chair now.

He quickly turned around and walked back to her. ‘Sorry, I forgot you were here for a moment. Please forget what I said. It’s not important.’

He sat back down in the chair with a groan of protest. Something was hurting him bad. Alicia rolled her eyes, internally annoyed that he “forgot she was here”. ‘Don’t mind me,’ she mumbled.

He turned to look at her. He looked tired again, like he did last time she was asking questions. Whatever got him so ill last time, it was happening again. Despite the tired look, there was a look of guilt in his eyes. He reached out with his hands to hold onto her hand. She looked at her hand covered in his, with a dazed look.

‘I’m sorry, I’ve been rude to you a lot lately. It is hard for me to be around you Alicia. You are not making it easy,’ he said in hushed tones. She tore her hand away from his and crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Well you don’t _have_ to talk to me. Go back to sleep and ignore me all you like, if that makes you happy.’

He was quiet for a moment, before he spoke again. She still refused to look at him. ‘That is not what I mean. I think you actually know what I mean,’ he said with a meaningful look.

She huffed. ‘I’m done playing your games, professor. Just say what you want to say, or say nothing. No half-answers anymore.’

He chuckled again. ‘Give it to me straight, why don’t you?’

Alicia couldn’t help the snicker that formed in her throat. They both chuckled for a bit before she finally looked at him again. Then her expression grew serious. ‘I mean it. What do you mean, professor?’

His green eyes looked deep into hers, searching for the right words. ‘I mean that I fear we have surpassed a teacher-student bond. I feel like I know you better than any of my colleagues, and enjoy spending time with you more than…well anyone really.’ At this point he became self-aware and looked at the ground as he rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I do trust you, Alicia. I want to tell you everything about me and ask everything about you, but…’

Alicia didn’t know how she should feel, or react. She was just frozen in her seat, fearing and loving everything he said. ‘But?’

He laughed uncomfortably. ‘But I can’t. Because I am your professor, not your friend.’

 _Auch._ That hurt.

Alicia looked away, ashamed by her own disappointment. Rationally, she knew this was the logical thing to happen. Rationally, she knew they were never going to be more than this.

Irrationally however, she was deeply hurt and disappointed by his words.

‘I know,’ she whispered back.

A silence stretched between the two. Alicia was fighting back tears as she sat there, clutching the chair. Her professor sat on the edge of the seat, resting his elbows on his knees. She heard him sigh and clutch his head in his hands. He was muttering “ _I can’t, I can’t”_ under his breath. Then he sat up.

‘I’m going to rest now. You should get some sleep too,’ he said.

‘Okay,’ she replied in a whisper, hoping he wouldn’t notice how broken her voice sounded. He stayed in his seat for a little longer, almost frozen in place. Alicia was about to ask him something when he turned to face her and very swiftly and very carefully, placed a kiss on her cheek. It was as quickly gone as it was there, but she had no doubt that he had pressed his lips to her cheekbone and kissed her there. Mixed feelings flooded through the girl as the professor stood up and walked away. She dared to look up at him as he stood next to his bed, ready to close the curtain.

‘Goodnight, Alicia.’

‘Goodnight Remus.’

It was hard to see in the darkness, but she thought she saw him smile. Then he disappeared behind the curtain. In a sort of a trance, she walked over to her bed. Earlier, she had little chance of falling asleep as her mind wandered.

Now, she had no chance at all.


	6. Dragons & werewolves

Things had changed since that night in the Hospital Wing. They had in multiple ways. Alicia had a different mindset about her entire “relationship” with Remus Lupin. She started to wonder what the worst was that could happen. She was nearly done with school anyway. She wished to see how far she could push him. She became more and more flirty during classes and whenever she saw him outside the classroom. On occasion she made him blush, and it fuelled her to go on.

On a darker note, the world around them changed as well. After the break-in, the rules were stricter regarding going outside. Curfew was an hour earlier than normal, and the trips to Hogsmeade went on with guidance from teachers. Everyone was talking about Sirius Black, and how he would come to kill Harry Potter. Alicia didn’t know the boy personally, but whenever she saw him he looked like he carried a big burden on his shoulders. Alicia wondered what it did to a person when everyone seemed sure you would get killed soon.

On a crisp November morning Alicia wandered down the hill towards Hagrid. Her visits to the kind half-giant were frequent, even more so in her last year. She was really going to miss him. The ground was layered with a filter of snow and most of the trees were bare of leaves. The grass crunched under her feet. Because it was a Saturday, she didn’t have to wear her Hogwarts robes. She was wearing trousers, a warm sweater and a coat that used to be her mother’s, with the Ravenclaw scarf wrapped around her neck. Her long hair was loose and ran down her back, catching snowflakes as she walked.

She knocked on the door, first five times then two, to signal to Hagrid that it was her. She could see smoke coming out of the chimney, so he should be home. After a short pause the door opened.

‘Hello Alicia! You look cold. Come in, come in,’ Hagrid said cheerfully. Alicia wiped her shoes and got inside. She was in the process of taking of her coat and scarf when she noticed Hagrid wasn’t alone.

‘Hello,’ she said to the stranger.

‘Hi there!’ he responded back enthusiastically. The man sitting at the table looked a couple of years older than Alicia. He wore dark leather robes that had a lot of scratches and scorch marks on them. His brilliant red hair fell to his shoulders and his face was heavily freckled.

After a good second look, Alicia decided she had seen him before. ‘I know you, I think.’

He stood up and shook her hand. ‘Charlie Weasley. Lovely to see you. Alicia Doreen isn’t it? It’s funny how we never talked while I was in school here. I graduated two years ago.’

‘Ah now I remember! You were a prefect and found me once late at night out of bed when I was studying nocturnal behaviour in Mokes. Terribly difficult creatures to find,’ Alicia rambled on. Charlie and Hagrid had a good laugh and Hagrid set down a steaming cup of tea in front of the girl.

‘So you like magical creatures then?’ Charlie asked as he eyed the younger girl. She nodded and used the teacup to warm her cold hands. Charlie laughed and gave Hagrid a look. ‘Something tells me this meeting between us isn’t accidental, Alicia.’

She raised an eyebrow and looked from the one to the other. ‘What do you mean?’

Charlie leaned forward, a spark lighting in his eyes. ‘Do you like dragons?’

Her eyes were round with fascination and her mouth hung slightly open. ‘Of course! I’ve seen a Welsh Green dragon when I was little, and it was the most magnificent beasts I have ever seen! I wish I could tell you that I have experience with more species, but I haven’t really travelled all that much. Why do you ask? Have you seen more dragons?’

Charlie’s mouth twisted in a grin. ‘One or two in my time. Don’t they scare you?’

Alicia wanted to enthusiastically tell him how creatures rarely scared her and that she would go to great lengths for them, but then remembered how concerned Hagrid was last time she went too far. She sat back and shied down.

‘Oh this girl isn’t afraid of anything, you might say. Sometimes she forgets to take care of herself, if she thinks a beast comes first. I’m telling you Charlie, you aren’t going to find anyone better than her,’ Hagrid said.

Alicia gave him an appreciative smile, but then frowned. ‘Find anyone better for what?’

Hagrid and Charlie exchanged a look, and then the redhead faced her. ‘Alicia, I work in Romania. I work with dragons. We capture them out of places where they attack muggles and bring them in a save area. There is a whole program of saving almost extinct species and learning more about their behaviour. I came here because I am looking for an assistant that I can train. Hagrid said he knew someone that might be interested.’

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. All she could do at the moment was blink at him.

‘You’re serious?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘You offer me a job…to work with dragons?’

‘That is what I am doing, yes.’

‘And you’ll wait until I graduated?’

‘Oh yes of course! But I am here now this early so you can pick up the dragon studies. So you have time to prepare. You have to move to Romania, logically. We have accommodation settled at the camp. All you have to do is graduate, pack your bags and come and live in a world of dragons. How does that sound?’

Once more she sat very still. Then, out of nowhere, she slammed her palms down on the table, making the tea in the teacups splash around. The motion made Charlie flinch and he looked as if he had insulted her and was about to apologize. However, she spoke first.

‘Of freaking course I want to work with you! Are you kidding me?! This is the greatest thing to ever happen to me! I’m going to be a freaking dragon handler! CAN YOU IMAGINE?’ Alicia shouted. She got out of her seat and started walking in circles. Sarah noticed her mommy and slithered out of her nest to follow Alicia around.

‘I’m going to be working with dragons! I don’t have to worry about a job after school. My parents will be super concerned though. Whatever! Mom should know how awesome it is to work with dragons, she occasionally sees one. I cannot handle this. Merlin’s beard!’

Charlie seemed amused by her behaviour. ‘Are you okay? Did I break you?’

She laughed. ‘A little. I’m going to need some time to process this. But the answer is yes, yes, YES! I will move to Romania and come to work with you!’

After the initial shock went away and Alicia quieted down again, they sat there discussing details. With great admiration she listened to Charlie’s stories. Hagrid seemed just as fascinated. They were completely lost in time when the clock announced that it was one o’clock in the afternoon.

‘Blimey! I should get going. The match is about to start,’ Charlie said as he started packing his things.

‘Right you are! Gryffindor vs Slytherin, my all-time favourite. Are you comin’ too, Alicia?’ Hagrid asked as he reached for his furry winter coat. The girl in question rolled her eyes. ‘Well all right then. Ravenclaw is still way ahead of the rest, so I guess it shouldn’t matter too much if I am seen between the Gryffindors. Assuming that is where you are going.’

Charlie laughed. ‘Of course! Everyone in my family was a Gryffindor. By the way, I was also invited for a party in the Gryffindor tower might they win. Will you join me?’

Alicia shrugged. ‘I suppose it couldn’t hurt.’

‘Great. I’m sure my brother will appreciate you being there,’ he said with a cheeky smirk and a wink. Alicia didn’t have to ask which brother he was talking about.

* * *

As expected, Gryffindor won the match. The party was big and loud, as Alicia would have expected. Someone had enchanted the common room to be twice as big so there was place for all the party-goers. She wasn’t the only non-Gryffindor in the room. Several Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were walking around, but no Slytherins. Not that that surprised Alicia.

She had just spend some time talking to a Gryffindor girl in her year, when she decided to settle down on the couch in front of the fireplace. There was a couple sharing a chair next to her, and they were kissing each other like it was their last day on earth. She was sure the firewhisky had something to do with their behaviour, which is why she was sticking to butterbeer.

It was hard to look away from the passionate couple. The boy was sitting normally and the girl was sideways on his lap. His hands rubbed her back and sides, as hers were tangled in his hair. She started to see herself in a similar position, with a man she wouldn’t mind kissing…somewhere private where no one could judge them.

‘Bottoms up!’

Shaken awake from staring at the couple, two people were sitting down on either side of her. One of them set their cup to her lips and urged her to open up and drink it. She squeaked in protest but couldn’t help the liquid pouring in her mouth. When the cup was gone from her lips she had some trouble swallowing, but managed and coughed afterwards.

‘Did you just pour a mouthful of firewhisky down my throat?’ she managed to say between coughs.

She heard both boys chuckle. ‘And you downed it wonderfully Nessie. Careful, maybe you will breathe fire now!’

She shook her head in annoyance, but realised that was a bad idea. The effect of the alcohol was already reaching her head. She sighed and looked him in the eye. George was of course the one who had forced her to drink, while Fred on the other side looked a bit guilty. Just a bit.

‘You two are the worst,’ she complained as she leaned back again.

George laid an arm over her shoulder and pulled her to him for a moment. ‘But you love it Nessie. How did you think we did at the game?’

She disentangled herself from George his arm and scooted a little closer to Fred. ‘I think more than enough people have already told you today how great you are. There is only so much ego-boost that one can handle.’ She flipped her hair out of her face and looked at Fred. ‘But I suppose I can congratulate you on the victory. Good luck catching up to Ravenclaw though.’

Fred huffed. ‘You think these little birds scare us? They wouldn’t know what to do when they face a lion!’ It was Alicia’s turn to laugh at that. ‘Oh you showed them good at the practice at the beginning of this year. Fifty points difference, wasn’t it?’

Fred couldn’t argue their failure earlier in the season. He looked down, seemingly lost his ego for now. ‘Oh we’ll get you, don’t worry,’ he said without much confidence.

‘All you Ravenclaws should be scared of our team. No one beats Harry!’ a new voice said. Alicia looked up to see yet another redheaded boy standing in front of them. His face was painted with red and gold and he wore a supporter scarf around his neck. Moments later the boy he was talking about, the famous Harry Potter, appeared next to him, followed by Alicia’s newest study partner, Hermione.

‘Ron, I presume?’ Alicia asked politely. ‘Haven’t had the pleasure yet.’ She stood up to shake his hand. Despite the paint on his cheeks she could see his skin turn to a darker red shade. ‘Nice to meet you. But I mean it! Your team doesn’t stand a chance.’

Hermione huffed and sat down in an armchair, a book in her hands. ‘Not everyone is so addicted to Quidditch, Ronald.’ Alicia chuckled and heard Harry chuckle at the same time. Their eyes locked and she gave him a warm smile. ‘And the wonderboy seeker. Harry. Nice to meet you,’ she said as she shook his hand too.

‘I’ve seen you around Hagrid’s place a lot. Are you friends with him?’ Harry asked as he and Ron took seats on the floor, backs to the fireplace. Alicia nodded. ‘Hagrid is the best. I really enjoy talking to him and taking care of creatures together.’

‘I’ve heard about you,’ Ron suddenly said. He looked up at the twins before looking back at Alicia. ‘You’re the girl they call Nessie.’

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Yep. That is true.’

Fred and George couldn’t help giggling as they drank more of their firewhisky. Hermione looked secretly amused too, but Harry seemed lost.

‘Why do they call you that?’ Harry asked.

Alicia rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat. ‘I sort of saved a boy from the huge kelpie that lives in the Black Lake. There are ways to compel and tame kelpies, and I was studying just that when a boy decided to go for a swim and make a lot of noise.’

‘Were you attacked too?’ Ron asked, leaning forward. Alicia bit her lip. ‘A bit. He tried to grab my legs. But I got away and the scratches have healed.’

‘I still don’t understand why they call you Nessie,’ Harry said, looking very confused.

Alicia took a swallow from her butterbeer before she replied. ‘The Loch Ness monster, you are familiar with that one yeah? Well, it is known that that monster is also an overgrown kelpie. Therefore, Nessie.’

Understanding crossed Harry’s face as he nodded and laughed with the others. Alicia found herself relax more and more in this group. She even took up on George’s offer to get herself a glass of firewhisky. Tomorrow was a Sunday anyway!

A lot of the conversation was about the match, recreating motions they did on the brooms and talking about what they had to do better next time. Ron wasn’t on the team, but he was pitching in like he was. Hermione had actually managed to zone out and read in the middle of all the chaos, and Alicia stared at her in wonder.

It was clear to Alicia that the firewhisky had effect on all the people who were drinking. The party got louder and weirder, with people performing magic tricks and bets being opened. She could also have sworn that Fred and George were sitting closer and closer to her. Her hips were squished between theirs, and on many occasions did an arm brush past her upper leg. She had known that Fred had a little crush on her, but did George too? Or was he trying to push her as close to his brother as he could? She was confused, but thinking too hard wasn’t working. Her brain refused more and more.

Then someone came up with the brilliant idea of playing truth or dare. At first she refused but the rest pulled her back in. At this point they were joined by Seamus, Dean and Neville, three boys from Harry’s year.

‘Alright Hermione! Truth or dare?’ Seamus started off.

‘I’m not playing,’ she replied, not looking up. Harry pulled the book out of her hands and threw it in a corner. Hermione looked ready to scold him for handling a book so roughly, but swallowed her anger and decided to play along. ‘Dare.’

The boys went in a simultaneous _ooooooh_ what only made Hermione roll her eyes.

‘Alright then! I dare you to down this bottle of butterbeer!’ Seamus presented her with a half-full bottle. They were all shouting, some in protest that she would get all of their drinks, some that she wouldn’t do it anyway.

Hermione simply took the bottle and put it to her lips. She started drinking like it was water. Everyone seemed deeply surprised, but then Alicia noticed that the witch had her wand out and was casting a spell. When she looked closely, she could see the colour of the drink change just before it entered her mouth. She was turning the beer into water.

As she set down the bottle everyone expected her to burp or sway or even fall over, but she simply wiped her lips and said: ‘Neville. Your turn.’

Alicia couldn’t help laughing and clapping at Hermione’s brilliant portray. The girl smiled back. The game went on as Neville was dared to eat some terrible flavoured candy, as Harry was dared to fly to the ceiling and do a flip upside down and as George confessed that he had cheated on three exams, but that he wouldn’t tell them how.

‘Alicia!’ George said full of energy. He turned to sit sideways on the couch, resting his head on his hand and staring her down. Alicia stared him back down with an amused and defiant look on her face. ‘Truth or dare?’ he asked seductively.

Alicia wasn’t fazed. ‘Truth.’

He giggled and looked around the room for inspiration. ‘If you had to do a teacher, which one would you choose?’

Of _all_ the questions in the universe he just had to ask this one. Could she lie convincingly? What options were there? To say Snape and make everyone laugh and/or vomit? Or to just say the truth and hope no one would ask any questions? _Shit._

‘Lupin, probably,’ she said. _No wait! That sounded too sincere._ ‘Who doesn’t want a ruffian like that?’ She mimicked the line of scars that ran over her teachers face. To her great relief, most of them were simply laughing and shouting things like _no way!_ And _He’s so weird!_ She actually felt guilty for making fun of his injuries, but thought it was best not to continue on the subject. She addressed Ron and continued the game.

Somewhere deep in the night, the game stopped and most people had gotten to bed. For the remainder of the game Alicia wasn’t asked anything too uncomfortable. She was also afraid someone would dare Fred or George to kiss her, but that didn’t happen either. She did end up dancing with Harry, in a terrible recreation of a tango. All and all the evening was fun, but she was ready to turn in for a good night of sleep.

When everyone got up to go to bed, Hermione stayed seated, and asked Alicia to stay behind too. As they said their goodnights and had blown kisses to both girls, the boys left. Alicia looked around and noticed that they were the last ones left, apart from a boy snoring very loudly in a corner.

‘What’s up?’ Alicia asked.

Hermione looked nervous. ‘I’m not really sure if I should tell you this. I haven’t said it to anyone else, in fear of what they might do. But I feel like I should tell you.’

Alicia’s muddled brain wasn’t fully comprehending everything she said. ‘So tell me.’

Hermione sighed and looked at her directly. ‘In the game, they asked you what teacher…well you said Professor Lupin. I’ve also heard from people that you were seen multiple times walking around the school with him. So…I feel like you know him a bit. But I must warn you.’

Alicia held up a hand. ‘Hold on. First: we were playing a game. I wasn’t serious! Second: you don’t have to tell me not to grow close to a teacher. My friends have already given me that lecture. All I do is talk with him, is that so bad?’

Hermione shook her head. ‘No you don’t understand. I’m trying to tell you that he is dangerous, and that getting close to him can get you injured, or worse…killed.’

Alicia stared the other girl down like she was seeing pigs fly. ‘Do you honestly believe our DADA professor would _kill me?’_

She looked down. ‘Not by choice.’

Alicia’s brain tried very hard to concentrate. What was she trying to tell her? Did this have anything to do with his reoccurring sickness? He had already missed his classes three times. Every time with some interval in which he looks fine.

Another piece of information suddenly popped up in her head. Why do wizards walk around with scars? Most wounds can be healed. Apart from a couple of exceptions. Wounds inflicted by dragons or werewolves for example…

Hermione did just say that he was dangerous. That he could kill her, but not by choice.

He missed three classes. In three months.

She nearly cried when the realisation hit her like a river breaking through a dam.

‘Professor Lupin is a werewolf?’ she whispered. When she looked up, Hermione was nodding with a concerned look on her face.

‘How long have you known?’ she asked the younger witch.

‘Since Professor Snape gave us an essay on werewolves. I don’t think that was a coincidence,’ Hermione replied.

Alicia groaned. ‘Snape was trying to get student to figure it out? Such a snake.’

Hermione frowned. ‘So you think firing Professor Lupin is wrong? I’ve been stuck with this dilemma. What if no one else knows? What if he could get someone killed? He is a very good teacher, the best we had so far for DADA, but there is a risk…’

Alicia didn’t really know what to say or do with this information for now. All she knew was that she had to talk about this with him.

‘Hermione, you have to keep this a secret. I don’t believe he would have come to Hogwarts if he was a potential threat. He is gone every full moon, remember? He is probably far away from the castle. I don’t believe he would ever want to risk bringing someone in danger. So it isn’t our secret to tell, okay?’

Hermione was quiet for a moment. Alicia was afraid she was going to protest, but in the end she nodded. ‘Okay. But should we talk to him? Or to Professor Dumbledore?’

Alicia bit her lip. ‘Let me do that. Please just try and forget it, okay? I will handle this.’

She nodded again. ‘I hope this turns out well. I really like him as a teacher, and I know Harry does as well. He is getting private lessons from him to learn the Patronus charm. It seems Professor Lupin knew Harry’s parents, and Harry wants to learn more about them.’

Alicia sighed. ‘Believe me Hermione, I don’t want him gone any more than you. We’ll protect him, for now.’

They said their goodbyes and Alicia rushed out through the portrait. She ran for a while before her emotions started catching up to her. She stopped and leaned against the wall. Suddenly everything made sense! Why he looked so tired. Why he was often covered in fresh wounds. Why he couldn’t tell her. The teacher she had decided to develop a crush on, was in fact a werewolf. She rushed back to the Ravenclaw tower and slept poorly that night.


	7. Moony

Alicia had decided in the end that she wasn’t going to rush up to Remus and confront him with his lycanthropy. She had been awake all night after her discovery, thinking how she would bring this to him. Hermione only informed her, but the Gryffindor had no intentions to yell Remus’ secret from the rooftops. For now at least.

One of the discoveries she made that night as she stared up at the ceiling of her four-poster bed, was that his illness didn’t bother her that much. In a way it made sense. It fitted him. Not that she wished this on him, but she could see the wolf be a part of this man. Maybe, with time she could learn more about his condition and find possible ways to make the transformation easier on him. She found herself more interested than scared about the whole situation.

The following morning however she had a terrible headache from all the drinking. She dragged her feet out of bed and sat down grumpily at the long table in the Great Hall for breakfast. She wore comfortable, unflattening clothes and her hair looked like a bird’s nest.

‘Good morning Miss Gryffindor,’ Elena said loudly. Alicia clutched her head. ‘Urgh. You are making my headache worse. Please lower the volume.’

Elena and Sophia giggled but Michelle rolled her eyes. ‘You didn’t get any sleep tonight did you? I heard you shifting around all night.’

Alicia was pleased to see a small pill on her plate, probably provided by an house elf. These guys knew when you needed a painkiller! She swallowed the pill with some water. ‘Yeah well, that is the effect firewhisky has on a person.’

The girls seemed shocked. ‘How much did you drink? What did you _do?’_

She was about to tell them that she had behaved perfectly well, when she felt the pressure of hands on her shoulders. Someone was leaning on her from behind. Her slow mind processed the words “Good morning beautiful. Slept well did you?” before someone planted a kiss to the crown of her head. For a split second she was thinking about Remus, but quickly realised that wasn’t a realistic scenario.

She turned around to face a familiar ginger. She sighed. ‘Good morning Fred. Slept wonderfully, you?’

He just grinned. ‘Like a baby. George and I developed an anti-hangover potion last year. You take it right before you go to bed and wake up like you had a full night of sleep.’

Alicia groaned. ‘Does it still work if you take it the next morning?’

He shook his head and said a quick greeting to the other three girls, who were following the action intently. He winked at Alicia and headed down to meet with his friends.

‘Well that was interesting,’ Michelle said first. She wiggled her eyebrows. ‘Had some fun with the twins last night?’

A blush crept on her cheeks. ‘Not like what you think. But they were with me for the most part, yeah. So were a couple of others, including Hermione. We played some games and chatted.’

Sophia’s face fell. ‘So you didn’t kiss anyone?’

Alicia was at a loss of words for a moment. ‘Suddenly you want me to kiss people?’

‘Duh! I need something to talk about! Something juicy! I need some tea before I spill the tea, Nessie!’ Sophia exclaimed. The others girls just laughed at her. After some more questions they seemed satisfied to know everything that had happened last night. Elena and Sophia left earlier to study in the library, which left Michelle and her.

As Michelle sipped her tea and read the Daily Prophet Alicia glanced over towards the head table. Remus was in his usual spot, talking to Professor Flitwick. After a moment he looked up from his conversation and stared directly at her. She smiled awkwardly and got a smile back. Then he turned back to listen. Her heart did a little flip and before she knew it she had sighed.

Michelle looked at her friend over the top of the newspaper. Alicia didn’t notice her look, as she continued to look at the man she had a crush on.

‘You know, you are not as subtle as you think,’ Michelle said. She sounded serious and looked Alicia dead in the eye. The blonde girl tried to look less suspicious, but she felt like a kid with a hand in the cookie jar. ‘I don’t know what-,’ she tried.

‘Of course you do. I know the others are a bit…slower on picking things up but soon they will see it too. The way you get lost in thought whenever you look at him. The two times you were gone for a long period of time with him. But Alicia…’ Michelle put the newspaper down and held her hands out on the table. Alicia, completely embarrassed by this point, put her hands in her friend’s. 

‘I just want to protect you,’ she finished. Michelle’s look softened.

‘Protect me from what?’ Alicia asked back in a whisper. Michelle didn’t know about his condition, so she couldn’t mean that. ‘Protect me from getting expelled?’

The girl with the black hair shook her head. ‘No, no you idiot,’ she said with a small laugh. But then her features became serious again. ‘Protect you from harm. What if one day he reciprocates your feelings, but he asks you to do something you don’t want to?’

Alicia quickly withdrew her hands and sat up straight. This was not the direction he had expected this to go. ‘You’re afraid he will take advantage of me.’

Michelle looked guilty, but nodded.

Alicia sighed. ‘I don’t know what to tell you. He is not that sort of man. And yes I know a lot of naïve girls say that, but this is different. Anyway, I’m not throwing myself at him or something. We’re just…bonding sometimes. I feel connected with him, like I have never felt with anyone I dated. But don’t worry, I don’t think he will respond to me anyway. He seems to value professionalism more.’ She didn’t mean that last sentence to come out so vehemently but it did.

Michelle shook her head. ‘Alright. I’ll get off your back. Just know that you can always talk to me, about anything. Okay?’

Suddenly she understood that she was only trying to be a good friend, and Alicia felt very emotional. Her eyes watered as she looked back at her best friend since their first year at Hogwarts. ‘Oh I know,’ she said with a snicker. The girls bowed over the table to hug each other. When they let go, Alicia saw tears in Michelle’s eyes too. Both of them laughed as they sat back down.

‘We are truly a mess,’ Alicia said, wiping at her eyes.

‘Merlin yes we are,’ Michelle answered.

* * *

Things got back to normal when December started. Alicia hadn’t been alone with Remus since their night at the Hospital Wing and she started to miss their talks. The classes were progressing normally. He didn’t give her any extra attention or sideways looks. She should be glad he was so good at acting casual, but at the same time it annoyed her. Because she _wasn’t_ good at acting casual. Whenever he walked around the classroom and stood behind her she froze and blushed like a maniac. One time he asked her to read for the class and she nearly choked on her saliva. She really felt like it would be easier if she saw him again outside of class. Then maybe she would stop looking at his firm ass every time he walked past her…

December was also the time of year for cuddling up to loved ones and spending Christmas together…or so every girl dreamed of and so every boy took advantage off. Right before Christmas was a known time of the year when a lot of dates were held. The last trip to Hogsmeade before the holidays was a popular moment. Alicia received _three_ invitations to go on a date on that Sunday. One from the Slytherin boy, Damian, one from a Ravenclaw from her year that had admired her for years, and one from Ron Weasley. Yes…Ron. Alicia was so confused when he stopped her on her way to Potions, that she needed a full minute to process what he was asking her. In the end she told him the same as she told the other two, that she already had plans. That was true, because Hagrid had asked her to watch over his Hippogriff, Buckbeak, as he went into town to buy more supplies. But even if she had been free, she wouldn’t have gone on a date with any of these boys. She wondered if she would have gone with Fred, and decided that she probably would have.

It was the last day before the holidays as the four Ravenclaw girls were sitting at the table at dinner. The meal had already been served and now everyone was waiting for the late post to arrive. It was traditional to send Christmas cards to fellow students, so everyone hoped to get a big pile.

However when Alicia’s pile kept getting bigger and bigger, she wasn’t happy.

‘When does this agony stop?’ she asked dramatically as she read a new card.

Sophia huffed. ‘Who are all those people writing you? And why aren’t they writing me?’

Alicia opened a new envelope. ‘Be glad. Most of them are boys trying to get me to remember their names. I don’t know half these people. Oh hey! This one is from Hermione. So sweet.’ Hermione had enchanted the card to make actual snow fall out, but it faded away before it touched the table.

‘I guess you can have your pick. How about Fred? Did he send you a card?’ Michelle asked, raising an eyebrow. Alicia rolled her eyes as she held up one of the cards she had already opened. It had a mistletoe on the front with swirly letters underneath spelling _this could be us?_ As it changed to two silhouettes kissing and back to the text. Michelle took the card and started reading.

‘Merry Christmas Nessie, maybe some year I’ll meet you under the mistletoe. Xxx your flying hero. Well this could be loads of-,’

‘When I was in my third year I got stuck on the island in the middle of the Black Lake, with an angry squid waiting for me in the water. Fred was busy practicing Quidditch when he heard me scream for help and got me off the island. I called him my flying hero,’ Alicia replied.

‘That is so sweet!’ Elena replied. ‘He is cute. Maybe you should just go up to him and give him a kiss. You know, since he isn’t taking too much action. ‘Maybe some year?’ That is so passive!’

Alicia laughed. ‘Thanks but no. I’m not that interested.’

Sophia rolled her eyes. ‘You aren’t interested in any of these boys throwing themselves at you! You are every girls worst nightmare. Now half the school will want you and no boy is looking the other way!’

‘Okay relax! Pick any card and go up to the boy to tell them that I’m not interested, but you are. Go on! I dare you!’ Alicia replied, shoving the pile across the table.

Usually Sophia didn’t respond to dares at all, but she was looking at the pile like it was laughing in her face. She rummaged through the cards until she found one that made her mouth fall open. ‘Jared too?!’ she exclaimed as she read the card from a fellow Ravenclaw. Alicia had known Sophia liked him.

‘He’s right over there,’ Michelle pointed out.

As they were all staring at Sophia, she picked up the card and walked over to Jared. They were too far away to hear the conversation, but they saw Sophia pointing at the card, then back at Alicia. Jared looked sad and embarrassed, but after a moment he nodded and walked out the Great Hall with Sophia on his arm.

‘Well I wasn’t expecting that,’ Alicia said after a long silence between the three friends. Then Elena grabbed the pile. ‘My turn!’

Alicia and Michelle laughed as Elena was quickly reading and discarding cards. When she made eye contact, Alicia threw some cards in her direction. ‘You wanna try too?’

Michelle shook her head and pushed them back to Alicia. ‘No thanks. I’ll find my romance outside of high school.’

Alicia figured that was probably a good idea. She looked down at the leftover closed envelopes, and fished a new one out. The envelope was the same yellow faded colour as half of the others, but this one had a wax seal on it. She tried to make out the seal, but didn’t recognise it. She opened it to find a dark blue card inside, with a shining silver dragon on it. It was flapping its wings as it flew through the night sky. She opened it and started reading.

_Merry Christmas Alicia._

_Someone told me you like dragons, and it really doesn’t surprise me that you could love a dangerous creature. You are a very caring person and I greatly admire you._

_X Moony_

_P.S. we should really meet up again soon after the holidays. I have a great book I want to tell you about._

Her heart stopped. She read the card five times over to really _believe_ that it was real. There was no doubt in her mind who ‘Moony’ was, especially now that she knew his connection to the moon. Everything about this card was perfect! He probably knew about the offer from Charlie to work with dragons, which meant he talked about her with others. He gave two references to his condition, which she wasn’t sure why he did. As far as she knew, he didn’t know that she figured out his secret. But obviously the best part was that he missed her too.

‘Hey Alicia I heard you were staying here during the break, is that true?’ Elena asked. Alicia had probably missed half a conversation as she was lost in her Christmas card.

‘Uh yeah, that’s right. My parents wanted to go on a skiing trip and I constantly feel nostalgic now that it is my last year here, so I figured I would stay,’ she replied, tucking the card under the table. Luckily it hadn’t ended up in Elena’s pile!

‘You should have told us, I would’ve stayed here too. Now you’re all alone,’ Michelle replied sadly.

‘That’s sweet, but it’s okay. I wanted to spend some time wandering around the castle and the grounds, seeing some places I haven’t seen before and do a lot of random alone things. So don’t feel bad,’ Alicia said back with a smile.

_And maybe…I won’t be alone at all._

* * *

Alicia climbed the snow-covered hill leading back to Hogwarts. She had spent the morning with Hagrid, reading up on dragons. Ever since Charlie had visited them Hagrid was incredibly supportive of her career choice. He had written letters to everyone he knew that could give them information and prepare Alicia for the dangerous job she had chosen. Hagrid was the best.

It was even more admirable knowing that he was going through a difficult time. During one of his classes, the hippogriff Buckbeak had attacked a student and now he faced charges. Alicia feared they would ask to execute the poor creature. Hagrid’s heart was way too kind to handle that. But he seemed to want to distract himself with the dragon studies.

In contrast, her parents hadn’t responded well to the news. She had send them a letter explaining what a great opportunity she had gotten and how excited she was, but the response was less than happy. They thought it was too dangerous and too far away. Her father hadn’t realised that there were dragons in the wild spread across the globe. He often figured out new things about the wizarding world, because her mother wasn’t too keen on pulling him in it. Alicia suspected that had to do with the impending danger for muggleborns and half-bloods. Her mother tried to be prepared might the situation get worse. 

With those depressing thoughts in her head she nearly walked past a group of students standing near the wooden bridge. It was only when she heard someone scream that she looked up.

‘P-please! Leave me alone!’ a young girl yelped. Tears formed in her eyes as she had her back to one of the massive stones standing on the top of the hill. She was surrounded by a boy and two girls, who looked a couple of years older than her. They formed half a circle around her, closing her in to the stone with their bodies. The boy had his wand out and pointed it at the little girl’s face.

‘Just tell us the truth then! You lied to us didn’t you?’ one of the girls said. She had a dirty look on her face.

‘Okay I’m sorry. I lied,’ the little girl said in-between sobs.

‘So say it! Tell us what you are!’ The boy shouted. He lashed out with his wand and a small gash appeared on her cheek. She shrieked out in fear.

‘Say it!’

‘M-mudblood!’

‘I knew it. You filthy-hey!’

It had taken Alicia a moment to decide what to do, but now she was acting quickly. She had cast the _Expelliarmus_ charm to catch the boy his wand in her hand. All four people looked up to see who intruded.

‘You better learn some manners,’ Alicia said calmly. Inside she was boiling with fury.

‘Give me my wand!’ He yelled at her as he turned away from the little girl and came towards Alicia.

‘After you promise me you are never going to bother anyone ever again,’ she said back, hoping she sounded calm. Calm rage was generally more threatening.

‘You stay out of this!’ One of the other girls yelled as she too drew her wand. However, Alicia had suspected that and was quick enough to disarm her too. Then she had three wands in her hand. She gave the third bully a look as if to dare her to whip out her wand too. The girl didn’t move.

‘Pathetic half-blood!’ The boy yelled as he charged at her like an enraged bull. Alicia sidestepped his charge but he was too quick when he landed a punch to her stomach. She doubled back and he had already gotten back the two wands she had taken.

‘You are not telling me or anyone else what to do! Soon things will change again, and you will get murdered, together with your parents who decided to mix blood! They will pay for their crime, and so will you!’ He yelled in her face.

She realised he was gathering the nerve to send a bad curse her way, so she had to be quick. Before he could summon a curse Alicia had quickly raised her wand.

‘ _Confundo_!’

It hit the boy right in the head, as he stepped back and swaggered around like he would topple over. The two girls came rushing to his side. ‘What did you do to him?’ one of them said.

Alicia just stood there, watching disapprovingly at the three despicable students. ‘Bring him to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey will know what to do. Go now, or I’ll do worse to you two.’

One of the girls looked ready to kill Alicia, when the other looked over Alicia’s shoulder as she noticed something.

‘Shit, a teacher. Come on Patricia, we better get out of here,’ she said.

The girls dragged the confused boy back towards the castle. Alicia didn’t even look back at them as she went over to the girl who was still sitting with her back to the big stone.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ Alicia asked, keeping her distance as the girl looked scared to be touched. She didn’t nod or shake her head, so Alicia carefully raised her hand. ‘Can I see that?’

Slowly, the girl turned her face so Alicia could examine the cut. It luckily wasn’t too bad. ‘That will heal quickly. Don’t worry, you won’t have a scar. What is your name?’

She sobbed a moment longer before she swallowed and replied. ‘Mandy.’

‘Mandy, I’m so sorry I didn’t act sooner. You shouldn’t pay any mind to those types. They bully others to forget how pathetic they really are. I bet if they see a ghost they run away in terror!’

That earned her a little smile. Mandy wiped her tears away and stood up. Alicia stood up with her. She saw that blood was dripping down her cheek.

‘Do you have a handkerchief or something…’ Alicia started before she was interrupted.

‘Here, allow me.’

From behind her appeared another figure, who placed the tip of a wand close to Mandy’s face and spoke a couple of healing spells. The cut closed considerably and stopped bleeding. When it was done the newcomer spoke to her in a kind, soft voice.

‘That will heal over nicely. Now, I think you have classes to attend. It’s better you go back to your classmates.’

Mandy nodded. ‘Thank you,’ she said to both before hurrying back to the castle.

Alicia smiled. ‘Of course it would be you.’ Then she finally looked Remus Lupin in the eye. He looked concerned, but smiled back at her. ‘Too late though. If you hadn’t been here it would be way worse than a cut.’

Alicia felt her cheeks heat. ‘I didn’t know how to heal her though. Did you catch the people who did it?’

He nodded and shifted on his feet. ‘I know who they are. I told them it wasn’t over and that they would serve detention for what they did, after they had a conversation with me. I’ll lecture them tonight.’

‘Good,’ is all Alicia said, as she stared after the place where they disappeared to. Then she felt the pressure of a hand on her upper arm.

‘I saw you get hurt. How are you?’ he asked concerned.

Alicia placed her hand over her stomach. ‘It hurts a bit, but not too badly.’

His hand didn’t leave her arm. She looked up at him and thought there were a lot of things she would like to say to him. Lots of things they had to discuss. But she was at a loss of words as she stared into his brilliantly green eyes. She was happy that the inflicted wounds in his face didn’t damage his eyes. They were too perfect to let anything happen to. Without thinking, her hand went to his cheek. His face felt warm to her cold hand, and she gently stroked her thumb over his skin.

He actually closed his eyes and leaned in to her touch. It was snowing again, and there they stood silently in the white landscape. Snowflakes caught onto his hair and clothes. One landed on his nose and Alicia giggled at how funny it looked. When she made the noise he opened his eyes again.

‘Why do I feel so comfortable around you?’ he asked calmly.

Alicia shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know. But I feel the same.’

Something shifted in his eyes. He gave her the same look he had given her before when they were laughing on the bridge. It was an animalistic look. A hungry look. Alicia’s heart stopped as she saw it. Then he started leaning forward and she lost all sense. She leaned in too, expecting him to kiss her. However, his face went past hers as he pulled her body against his for a hug.

With the initial shock gone, she wrapped her arms around his body and decided that this was even better. She felt his warmth and inhaled his scent, as she nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck. He did the same, and it felt like he was trying to press his lips to her neck. Unfortunately she was wearing a thick scarf so the feeling was muffled. She almost wanted to pull the scarf away to allow him to kiss her neck, but thought he would let go of her if she did that.

They hugged each other tightly for a long time. Both of them really needed the comfort and both didn’t want to let go. Alicia got a tighter hold on his waist and pulled his body even closer. Now that their entire torso’s were touching, she felt a bulge rub against her belly. First she though he had something in his pocket, but then quickly realised that was _not_ the case. She stiffened a bit at the realisation and then Remus let go quickly. He looked embarrassed.

‘I-I am really sorry. I-I don’t know where that came from I didn’t mean…’ He was completely at a loss of words. It was the first time she saw him so unsure as she decided it was cute. When she chuckled he looked up, confused.

‘You are cute when you’re at a loss of words,’ she told him.

He blushed even more at that. ‘I don’t mean to push you-,’ he tried again.

Now she wanted to take initiative. She stepped up to him again and placed her finger against his lips. ‘Shush,’ she said. ‘I know, I understand. Don’t worry.’

A very cheeky idea came to mind to give him a quick kiss on the lips, but she didn’t want to be their first kiss like that. If it ever came, it had to come from both of them, not as a surprise. They were still tugging on the idea, deciding to take steps forwards and backwards. Pushing was not a good idea.

So she went for another idea that was less daring. She took hold of his arm and stood next to him.

‘I think I might need someone to escort me back to my class. Would you do me the honour?’ she asked with a smirk.

He chuckled nervously but then came back to his confident self. ‘The honour would be mine.’

They set off to walk the bridge together. Alicia knew that she had to let go of his arms once they reached the castle grounds, so she wasn’t walking very quickly. It seemed Remus had the same idea.

‘I didn’t know you were a half-blood by the way,’ Remus said to make conversation. ‘Is your father or mother a muggle?’

‘Father. My mother works for Gringotts but they need contact with muggle banks if they want to exchange money. My father works for the National bank of England and so they got in contact. My father had the kind of job where he had to know about the existence of the magical community, but he never got too deeply involved. Until he met my mother.’

Remus looked happy. ‘That is a wonderful story. I know a thing or two about it. My mother is a muggle, my father a wizard. I think a lot of people underestimate how close these two worlds are. I grew up with tales of Beedle the bard and the Grimm fairy tales. Same with poetry, music, sports…you really miss something if you only focus on one side of it.’

Alicia smiled back. ‘I agree. I actually feel blessed to know enough about both worlds. When I listen to music, I love mixing the Weird Sisters with the Rolling Stones. Sometimes I don’t even know which band I’m listening to! I love it.’

They continued talking about things that mixed great between wizards and muggles, and found yet another shared interest. Alicia started to see this man as more than a crush. He was becoming a good friend as well.

When they reached the end of the bridge Alicia reluctantly let go of Remus his arm. They both looked pained to be separated again. They continued into the castle, where they walked past a handful of people. In the end they reached the point where they would split their ways. They continued talking as they stood still, not wanting to let each other go just yet.

‘Well, I should head to my class,’ Remus said eventually. Alicia nodded. ‘Oh I still wanted to ask you, where are you going during the holidays?’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m staying here. What makes you think I’m going away?’

Her heart made a little leap. ‘You said so in the Christmas card. To see me again after the holidays,’ she replied quickly.

He chuckled. ‘I assumed you would go home actually. You are staying here as well?’

She nodded and blushed. He smiled. ‘That’s wonderful. I’ll see you on Christmas morning then.’ He looked around to check that they were alone, took her hand and kissed it. He winked at her and turned around to leave.

 _That cheeky bastard,_ she thought. She wanted to have the last word this time. ‘Thank you for the Christmas card again, Moony,’ she yelled after him.

He stopped for a moment, chuckled, and continued walking.

* * *

Why did he have to make it so difficult for himself? A month ago he had made the decision to stop his growing feelings for his student. He had told her that night in the Hospital Wing that they couldn’t go on like that. So what was that today? Why did he hug her and worse…push his aroused member against her?

He stopped walking to lean on a windowsill. He was internally cringing at what he had done. But even if that hadn’t happened, he was still going way too far with the gorgeous Ravenclaw. He kept asking her personal questions, exposing himself to her, and kept giving her little signs of affection. He had noticed personal growth in her over the last few months, and lately she seemed more mature in his head. He made himself believe that it made her actual age different too. There was a part of him that was driving him whenever she was around, and that part didn’t care about limits. That part knew what it wanted and was advancing fast.

But there were so many reasons, very logical reasons, why this was the worst idea he ever had. First off: he was her teacher. Second off: he was a werewolf and she didn’t know. It wasn’t fair to her, to let her come so close when she didn’t even know what he was. But to tell her was a huge risk. If she was horrified by the discovery and ran to tell everyone, he would get fired. She could even use his actions so far as allegations in a court. If she wanted to burn him to the ground, she could.

Could he risk that? To trust her so much? To basically put his fate in her hands? He sighed and continued walking, realising he had to make serious decisions. He had nearly kissed her today. If he did kiss her, and she kissed back, then he couldn’t turn back. If he did that she would expect more from him. So he had to think really long and hard, whether he could have a secret relationship with a student.

The thought scared and thrilled him.


	8. Christmas presents

The Christmas vacation had started. The first two days Alicia had taken it very slowly. She was sleeping in all morning and took long walks in the afternoon. She was discovering more and more of the castle and the castle grounds. To have so much freedom was like a breath of fresh air to her.

The school was very empty. Lots of students and teachers had gone home. Some of the few that stayed behind were Harry, Ron and Hermione. Alicia ran into them on the second day. They were helping Hagrid with the terrible case against Buckbeak. Alicia shivered thinking about decapitating the poor creature. It was good these three were helping him, but she doubted it would make a great difference.

On Christmas morning, she received a couple of gifts. Her parents had send her some school supplies she had ran out of, a festive sweater and some chocolate. They also included brochures of places that were looking to hire new people. Safe places of course, like Gringotts and the Ministry of Magic. She rolled her eyes at these.

Michelle, Elena, Sophia and herself had a running tradition of sending each other self-made gifts. This year Alicia had managed to make flower pots that were painted with memories from their years at school together. Michelle was an excellent knitter and sewer, and had send Alicia a very elegant blouse embroidered with tiny dragons. Elena had sent an origami animal that kept changing shape when you called out an animal, and Sophia had made miniature paintings of the four of them together.

Pleased with these wonderful gifts, she pulled on the blouse, in combination with a maroon skirt and black knee high socks and went down for breakfast. In the great hall the four house tables were against the walls. In the middle stood a smaller table with a couple of people present. Professor Dumbledore was sitting at the head, with Professor McGonagall on his right and Professor Snape on his left. Professor Sprout and Flitwick were also there, together with a handful of students. Even Filch, the caretaker was sitting with the rest.

‘Ah, Miss Doreen! Come and join us,’ Dumbledore said happily. Alicia greeted everyone and joined the table. ‘What a wonderful shirt you have. Are those dragons?’ Dumbledore asked, leaning forward to inspect her new piece of clothing.

She nodded, feeling all the eyes on her. ‘My friend Michelle made it for me. She is wonderful at designing clothes.’

‘Wonderful indeed, and very insightful. Did I hear correctly that you have been offered a job at the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary?’ Dumbledore continued, showing off his extended knowledge of things.

As she said that was true, she saw different reactions on the faces around the table. Two of the students who were sitting here had send her Christmas cards, hoping to get her under the mistletoe with them. They looked at her with admiration. Professor Sprout looked impressed, as did Professor Flitwick. Professor McGonagall looked concerned, probably with the same ideas as her parents had. Professor Snape didn’t show anything on his face at all.

They started their breakfast as Dumbledore told them that there would also be a lunch even grander than the breakfast. Alicia wasn’t really paying attention, as one question was on her mind: _where is he?_

But she decided it was too dangerous to ask, so she just joined the general conversation and explained more about what her future job would entail. After half an hour, someone new entered the hall and Alicia couldn’t help beaming when she saw it was Professor Remus Lupin. However as he drew nearer, she could see he looked tired. She was a fool for forgetting to check when the full moon was, but something told her it was last night.

‘Professor Lupin! Good to see you up. Are you feeling well?’ Dumbledore asked him. Alicia inspected the headmaster as he looked at Remus. A twinkle in his eye told her that he knew. _Of course he did! How can you hire a werewolf without knowing?_

‘I have felt better, I have felt worse. But most of all I was feeling hungry,’ he joked as he sat down across from Alicia two seats over. It wasn’t weird for her to look at him now, as everyone was looking at him. But she knew he couldn’t glance back. This moment was dangerous, with the watchful eye of many teachers present. She simply drank her tea and waited out how things would go. She had noticed that Remus looked a bit more nicely dressed than usual. He was wearing blue-greyish robes that had less holes in them than his usual attire. His hair was less untidy too. Despite the dark circles under his eyes from a restless night he looked very fine indeed.

Professor Sprout asked Alicia to elaborate on a recent discovery she had made of plants growing on the grounds that were poisonous to some of the creatures in Hagrid’s classes. So she continued a pleasant morning of talking with very diverse people. She realised that this was her last Christmas at Hogwarts, and felt another wave of nostalgia hit her.

When most people were done eating, some started leaving. Alicia threw a glance in Remus’s direction and found him looking at her. He nodded slightly. Then she stood up.

‘Thank you all for the wonderful meal. And Merry Christmas,’ she said cheerfully. Most of them replied with “Merry Christmas” as she started leaving. She walked out of the Great Hall and waited by the staircases. Within a minute she heard someone coming up behind her.

She turned around to see Remus coming her way. He was lightly walking up the stairs with his hands in his pockets. He looked carefree.

‘First you are ill and then you look like you could skip up the stairs,’ Alicia said. ‘You keep surprising me.’ He chuckled and did a little skip to make her laugh. ‘Follow me,’ he said. Alicia complied, walking behind him to climb the stairs. As expected, they were going towards his classroom and office.

They crossed the classroom and Alicia realised this was the first time she was allowed in his personal space. As she entered the office, she looked around in awe. There were a couple of creatures in cages around the office. Some bookshelves were set up to hold many volumes, and the cabinets and his desk were littered with paper, quills and other objects. He shoved most of the things from his desk to the side.

‘Sorry about the mess,’ he apologized. Alicia just chuckled. She noticed the fireplace behind his office with a comfortable armchair in front of it. However, for now he took place in the chair behind his desk. ‘Have a seat Alicia,’ he said. He conjured a chair out of thin air and she sat down at the other side of his desk. Suddenly, it seemed like the power dynamic between teacher and student was back.

‘Am I in trouble?’ she joked, hoping it wasn’t true. He leaned forward with his fingers intertwined on the desk. ‘Did you do anything you shouldn’t have?’ he asked. His voice was low and deep, and there was almost a low rumble coming from his throat. Alicia had difficulty breathing. She swallowed and stared at him, unsure what to say. Before she could respond however, he did.

‘Because I did. And I think it is time to settle some things. But first, a cup of tea and presents,’ he said. He made a kettle fly over to the table as it started pouring two cups of tea. Then he opened a drawer and got out a medium sized square box, wrapped in red and green wrapping paper. It had a bow on the top with a note hanging on a string. He pushed it towards her. ‘Merry Christmas Alicia.’

She took the box in her lap and started unpacking. ‘I didn’t know we were doing gifts. I should have bought you something.’

He smiled secretly. ‘You have already given me a lot.’ She didn’t know how to respond so she focused on the present. She pulled out two books. The first had a dark brown cover with a picture of a wizard on it, that was moving around as if to inspect his surroundings. The title read _Tales of the unexpected by Ignatius Hodder._ Then the second book was pale blue with golden letters spelling _The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes by A. Conan Doyle._

‘I wasn’t sure whether you have read either, but I thought it was another good example of how the muggle and wizarding world are connected. I swear, if you read both these books it feels like some of these stories are connected. I hoped you would like it,’ Remus said calmly.

Alicia looked up to face him. ‘I love it! Thank you so much. It’s a very thoughtful gift. I really wish I had something for you.’ Remus smiled. ‘Don’t worry. Maybe it will be easier for me now to ask you a favour.’

Alicia swallowed again, afraid of what was going to happen. She put the books aside and watched him intently, dying from anticipation. Remus seemed unsure how to start as well. He nearly started two times before he really did.

‘I have been giving you a lot of thought lately. How we have progressed a bond of sorts. I feel it has grown stronger than a regular teacher-student relationship, and that worries me.’ He stopped for a moment to check for her reaction, but she figured it was best to wait him out. ‘It worries me because I am unsure what to do. Rationally, I shouldn’t be spending any time with you alone anymore. I should tell you to call me Professor Lupin again and we should forget the moments we shared.’

He let another silence fall. Alicia really hoped this was the part where he said _however…_

‘Also this entire situation has been unfair to you, because you don’t know the full truth about me. You have asked me before to trust you with personal information, and I had declined. I had good reason to, because I didn’t yet know how you would respond. I still don’t know for sure, but I have decided to trust you with my biggest secret. Even if that means I lose you and you tell it to others and all the consequences that would have for me. You deserve to know.’

He was really struggling to get it out, so Alicia decided to help him. ‘Is this the part where to tell me you are a werewolf?’

His eyes couldn’t have grown bigger and his mouth couldn’t have opened wider. ‘How did you know that?’ She shrugged and smiled. ‘I pay attention to you. It took me some time to see the pattern, but it is actually quite clear. Also, you signed the card you gave me with _Moony._ That was a giveaway.’

He was frozen in that surprised expression for a minute longer before he relaxed and dropped his head in his hands. ‘And here I thought I was discrete. It won’t be long before more people find out then.’ Alicia took his hands in hers, forcing him to look at her. ‘Hey, didn’t you listen? I’m paying attention to you. Quite a bit more than your average student. I think you are discrete, at least to the majority. I happen to be an exception.’

He seemed to listen this time as he calmed down. ‘So, what do you think of me then? Are you scared?’ Alicia couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Did you hear that I was offered a job at a dragon sanctuary?’ He nodded. ‘Well, If I can handle dragons, I can handle a werewolf. Remus, I’m not scared of you. Of course I won’t go looking for you at a full moon, but I know you are a good person all those other nights of the month. You have been capable of dealing with it for so long…then I should be able to deal with it too, right?’ 

Remus simply stared at her. ‘I can’t believe you’re saying that.’ He looked down at their still touching hands. ‘I can’t believe you simply accept that.’ She shrugged. ‘I’ve known for a little while now. The night I figured it out I was shocked, sure. But I had some time to process and I think I’m cool with it now. Besides…’ she lifted one of his hands to kiss it, ‘If I like the man I can learn to like the wolf.’

She didn’t know where that burst of courage came from, but she was loving the reaction on his face. Confusion mixed with hunger. She knew he was as hungry for more touching as she was. If this desk wasn’t between them, she would already be way closer.

‘So…you know what you are doing then?’ he asked, clearing his throat as he looked at her with these mesmerizing green eyes. ‘You have no doubts, no regret for the actions we have taken so far?’

‘Do you?’ she asked, holding her breath.

He stared her deep in the eyes as he frowned. ‘No,’ he whispered.

She was out of her seat and standing in front of him at the other side of the desk in no time. Slowly, she leaned forward, placing her hands on the armrests of his chair. He was breathing hard and looked down her body. She realised that from that angle he could look down her shirt. The blouse hung loosely around her body and he could probably see the edge of her bra touching her breasts. After giving him some time to look at her, she sat sideways in his lap, like those two Gryffindors in the common room. Only if she and Remus were snogging in the middle of a common room people would be scandalized.

She leaned in to whisper in his ear. ‘I know what I want.’

Her hand stroked over his arm, going towards his chest where she lightly rubbed over his shirt. His arms were still in place on the armrests, his hands clenched in fists. He turned his face slightly so his lips were tickling her ear. ‘What is it you want?’

She smiled a placed a kiss in his neck. ‘You.’

Alicia guessed that was the final confirmation he needed. Suddenly his hands moved to hold her body close to his. One snaked around her waist as the other grabbed her thigh and raised her further on his lap. Then he looked her in the eye, for a short moment before he leaned in and kissed her. Alicia kissed back happily, feeling light in her head as she savoured the moment. The sweet taste of his lips on hers and the pressure of his hands on her body was enough to make her go crazy. When they let go, she looked back at him, hoping to no longer see any doubt in his eyes. And she didn’t. The hunger had won. He kissed her again, but this time she felt his tongue pressing against her lips. She opened her mouth and kissed him fully. His tongue swirled around hers. A moan escaped from deep in her throat. The sound was so stimulating for him that he groaned back. When he drew back she lingered on his lower lip, biting down on it.

‘You are maddingly good at this,’ he said. His hand came up to her face to brush some hair behind her ear. ‘You’ve had experience, didn’t you?’ She giggled and kissed his neck and ear. ‘I don’t want to talk about that. But what I can tell you is that I have been daydreaming of this moment for a while now. Whenever you saw me spacing out in class, I was wondering what you tasted like. Just the thought of you makes me mad with thirst. I guess now that the moment is really here, I just want to enjoy you as much as possible.’

He groaned again, almost as if he was in physical pain from not being closer to her. She felt the bulge in his pants grow, as she hoped would happen. She knew what kind of effect those words would have, and she couldn’t wait any longer to act on it. She kissed him again, going in with her tongue from the start. As they both started breathing faster the hand she had on his chest went down to stroke his chest, stomach…ever lower. She could feel where his cock was, and made sure to stroke every inch of him…except from the cock itself. As she circled around it, careful not to touch it, she heard more and more groans coming out of him.

He acted quickly, as he took hold of her hand doing the torturing and as he stopped kissing her abruptly. ‘You have to stop. You are making me go insane!’ he gasped out. He looked down his own body to see how obviously aroused he was. Alicia just giggled again. ‘Make me stop,’ she whispered. When she winked, she knew she _had_ driven him insane. It was like his wolf had taken over for a moment, purely working on a feeling of hunger. He made her stand up and pushed her against his desk as he stood in front of her. She looked up at him with big eyes, playing innocent. He cupped her face in his hands and crushed his lips back on hers. While they were kissing, his hands grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her on the desk. He pressed his body against hers between her legs. She felt his cock against her wet pussy as he started grinding. He was in control now and it was her time to be overwhelmed.

He let go of her mouth, out of breath. His hands went down to her shirt to start undoing the buttons. Soon the blouse was gone and she was left in her white bra. Remus looked down at her like he wanted to memorize every bit of her.

‘Don’t stare, you make me uncomfortable,’ Alicia said, feeling too exposed. He mumbled a quick ‘sorry’ before bringing his hands to her breasts. He started massaging them through her bra. He found where her nipples were and rubbed against them. Alicia threw her head back and moaned pleased. She didn’t see his head going down, but felt his tongue running over the edge of her bra a moment later. Her wet skin felt extra sensitive and he left her with goose bumps.

It was unfair, really. So she pushed him back a little so she could even it out. She pulled the sweater he was wearing over his head, and after that the shirt underneath. She had nearly gasped when she saw his naked torso, but was quick enough to stop herself. Remus was covered in scars. Most looked to be self-inflicted. Now he was uncomfortable as she was staring. She reached forward and started running her hands over his chest, back and hips. She started kissing him all over, and even bit him lightly. ‘You are beautiful Remus,’ she said with a seductive voice.

He groaned happily, before pulling her head away from his chest. He claimed her mouth once more. Alicia expected him to touch her breasts but Remus had other ideas. His free hand grabbed the inner side of her thigh and started rubbing her skin. She was so surprised by the sudden closeness to her pussy, that she yelped out. He seemed to like the sound and continued touching her. After a moment she realised he was doing what she did; coming very close to the area where the touch was needed the most. He didn’t actually touch her knickers and that started to enrage her.

‘Touch me Remus,’ she said between gasps of air. She bit down on his earlobe and tugged on it.

‘No,’ he said back. She could see him smirk that annoyingly sexy smirk, and she knew that she was never going to see that again without becoming wet straight away. He was really doing his best to be the alpha male. However, she was not going to play Little Miss subordinate.

‘Fine,’ she said with a dangerous glimmer in her eyes. She tugged on the band of his trousers and got him closer to her. With a couple of quick motions she had the remainder of his clothes on the floor. He was surprised to find himself completely naked. He looked down and back up at her. ‘You sneaky-oh!’

She already held his cock in her hand. It was fun to look him in the eye as she played with him. First, she stroked around with the tips of her fingers, running them over his tip. Then she held onto him firmly and started pumping. Remus placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward, resting his head on her shoulder. He became rather quiet apart from the small gasps and dirty words coming out of him.

‘Remus,’ she started, ‘You’re not the only one in control. I’m not your bottom. Do you get that?’

It had the opposite effect. Instead of listening, he got his head back up, removed her hand from his cock and had pushed her lightly backwards on the desk. As she rested on her elbows, he removed her knickers, leaving her in her skirt and bra. She wanted to protest as she sat back up, but was too late as he had done the same power move. His fingers were slightly stroking her pussy under her skirt and suddenly she couldn’t talk anymore.

‘You are so wet already. Did I turn you on Nessie?’ he purred in her ear. It was the first time he had called her that, and suddenly it felt like an sexy nickname. She nodded quickly, still unable to speak as his fingers stroked from her clit to her vagina. ‘Did I turn you on?’ he asked again. She couldn’t hold it any longer. ‘Fuck yes Remus. You turn me on so badly. I really need you to fuck me soon.’

He chuckled. ‘You do need it badly then. I better comply.’ His thumb found the exact spot on her clit where she was most sensitive. Hot fire spread through her body as he lazily flicked his thumb over it. She started squirming in his touch. He looked at her, savouring the way she looked when he was completely in control again.

‘Do you like this?’ he asked, looking down her body.

She nodded.

‘Sorry I didn’t hear you.’

She threw her head back and groaned. ‘Yes! Yes I love it! Never stop touching me like that!’

He chuckled again and started rubbing a bit faster. Multiple dirty words came out of her mouth as she clutched desperately to his desk. She started grinding herself to his touch, getting more and more desperate the closer she came to an orgasm.

But he stopped. She looked back at him, ready to murder. ‘I said don’t stop!’

He took her hands and pulled her away from the desk. ‘Yes, but you also said I had to fuck you. Do you still want that, Nessie?’ he said as he kissed her neck. She nodded and he walked her in the next room. A curtain had separated the office space from his personal space. There was a fireplace in here too, and next to it in the corner stood a modest bed that looked very comfortable for sleeping. Not that she wanted to sleep now.

Now that she was standing, naked apart from her short skirt and bra, she felt exposed again. She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at the bed. She felt Remus come up behind her as he placed his hands on her arms. He kissed her neck from behind. ‘Second thoughts?’ he asked simply. Like he could stop any time if he wanted.

‘No,’ she told him as she turned around in his arms and kissed him passionately. He kissed her back and their fires were awake again. His hands ran down over her ass and cupped her. It made her push her body closer to his, were his hard cock was still waiting to go into action. Then his hands travelled up to her back and as he stepped back from her he had her bra in his hands. He was showing it like he had done a magic trick. Alicia giggled.

He pushed her kindly backwards until she was lying in the bed. He jumped on top of her and started licking her nipples. She moaned in pleasure as he left her wet, cold and wanting.

‘Remus,’ she moaned.

‘Yes dear?’ he said as he continued to flick her nipple with his finger. The warmth down in her body couldn’t get any more excited.

‘I really need you right now. Please,’ she said desperately.

Remus didn’t need any more encouragement. He spit in his hand and rubbed it over his cock as lube. Alicia spread her legs out and lifted her skirt. First he seemed concentrated in finding the right spot but soon he was kissing her again, distracting both of them. As her mouth was occupied with his tongue, she suddenly felt him thrust inside her. She yelped out in pain and pleasure. He continued thrusting in her, and after the third time the pain was gone and it was just pleasure. She started to relax as he kept pounding in her. She started moaning loudly and looked him in the eye. Remus was breathing hard, clearly enjoying it as much as she did.

The pace picked up and Alicia tried holding her legs in different places. Suddenly she had found an angle that when he hit her, she had the same wave of pleasure as when he rubbed her clit. She yelled out in delight and it urged him to go faster. Remus was thrusting hard into her, making her beg for him. They were both talking dirty and begging for each other and kissing in-between.

‘Fuck…Alicia…I’m going to….’ He tried to say. She held onto him tighter. ‘Come into me Remus.’

He started thrusting even harder and quicker and it drove both of them over the edge. Alicia screamed in extasy as she felt both their orgasms inside her. They were panting heavily. After the shock was gone Remus raised onto his elbows and looked down at her. He smiled softly and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

‘That was amazing,’ he said. ‘Thank you.’ He kissed her once more before moving himself out of her. He found his wand quickly and cleaned both of them up. Then he got back in the bed and threw the covers over their naked bodies.

‘Thank _you,’_ she responded. Then she giggled as reality came back to her. She looked around the room and realised it was somewhere around noon, in Hogwarts, where she just had sex with her professor. And she was so happy about it.

She rolled on her side and looked at him. He had propped himself on one elbow and was looking at her. It was a cold December day and it was snowing outside, but they were perfectly warm under the covers.

‘How do you feel?’ he asked, a bit of that concern coming back to him.

‘Absolutely amazing,’ she replied quickly, a big grin on her face. ‘You?’

Remus smiled and started tracing patterns on her arm with his fingers. ‘Like I’m finally alive again. I haven’t felt so good in…well at least twelve years.’

Alicia giggled. ‘It’s been twelve years since you had sex?’

He laughed too. ‘That is not what I mean! I mean that, my life kind of stopped twelve years ago. When I lost everything. All that time, I didn’t know what I was living for.’

His face turned dark. She placed a hand on his cheek and stroked him gently. ‘I hope you have now. I’m not going anywhere.’ He smiled back. She could see he was almost on the brink of tears. She kissed him quickly, confirming what she had said. ‘I didn’t come to you for a one-night-stand. Or well, one-Christmas-morning-stand. I came to you because I like you a lot and feel very strongly for you. I hope you understand that.’

He nodded. ‘I do. Believe me, before I invited you into my office today I had a couple of mental debates about what to do. But in the end I concluded that you make me so happy, and that pushing you away was only going to make us both very sad. I simply didn’t want that. I want you close to me, all the time. I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but if we figure out a way to keep all of this a secret, I want to continue it. I want to have a relationship with you.’

Her heart stopped. ‘That’s all I want too.’ He smiled and kissed her again. He rolled her back on her back as he leaned over her. She groaned and he stopped quickly. ‘What is it?’ She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘I told you I wasn’t a bottom but I still ended up being the bottom.’

It took him a moment to understand, but then the smirk returned. ‘Did you really think you could be dominant over an alpha wolf? My instinct is to dominate you and claim you, not to wait for you to pleasure me.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘So you don’t want me to pleasure you?’

He seemed to realise his mistake. ‘No, no I loved that. But I just-,’

She didn’t allow him to finish. Under the sheets she had found his member, now smaller and soft, and started running her fingers along the shaft. She could feel him respond to her touch. Remus moaned, surprised by her cheeky move. ‘You don’t like that, then?’

He looked back at her, with that hunger back in his eyes. ‘Bold move Alicia.’ She bit her lip seductively as she continued stroking him. He was technically still on top, but she had the power. His cock was getting harder and harder again, throbbing against her hand. He just sort of laid there, too distracted to do anything except enjoy her touch. He started panting and groaning.

She pushed him next to her, his back on the soft mattress. She hovered over him and raised a finger to her lips in a sign to stay silent. Then she disappeared under the sheets. Remus tried to protest but was soon rendered helpless as he felt her lips and tongue around his cock. He grabbed the back of her head under the sheets and lightly pulled on her hair. She continued taking all of him in her mouth, and the part she couldn’t reach she wrapped her hand around. Every once in a while she pulled her mouth back to lick across the tip of his cock, forcing more wetness out of him. She had continued to take him in her mouth fully, when Remus’s hands reached out and pulled her back to him. Seconds later she saw pleasure cross his face as he came again. He was panting heavily as he laid there. Alicia took her wand and cleaned up for him and then laid back next to him.

‘Just so we are clear, if your alpha wolf can’t handle that, I won’t do it again. No worries,’ she said while inspecting her nails.

‘You little-,’ he started as he attacked her. They ended up entangled in each other’s arms, still laughing.

They were silent for a little while, just staring at the ceiling and recalling everything that had happened. Alicia still wanted to ask him so much, but didn’t know where to start.

‘Can I ask rapid fire questions? If I want elaboration I’ll ask,’ she said.

‘Go ahead,’ he said. He had closed his eyes and was relaxing.

‘Have you been married before?’

‘Nope. Not even been in a serious relationship before.’

‘Huh interesting. Where do you go when you have to transform?’

‘The Shrieking Shack. It actually got its name because of me. But having people believe it were ghosts is actually a lot better.’

‘What have you done those twelve years you keep referring to?’

‘Very little. I kept switching jobs. If I stay in a place for too long they notice my absence every full moon. I have a secluded house near a forest, where I have built a cage for myself in a cave.’

‘Did you have any friends over in that time?’

‘I think I told you. Everyone that I considered my friend is dead.’

‘No, you said two of them died. But there was a third. What happened to him?’

He didn’t answer. When she looked over at him, he had a pained expression on his face. Then he sat up in the bed. ‘We forgot our tea,’ he stated.

‘I’m sorry if I upset you,’ Alicia said uncertainly.

Remus smiled softly and rubbed her arm. ‘You didn’t. But if we are discussing this we better do it with our clothes on and a nice cup of tea.’

‘Why?’ she asked.

‘Because this is yet another reason you might not like me. And you should be capable of leaving soon when I tell you.’ She didn’t have time to reply as he was already out of bed and getting dressed. In the end she followed him into the study, where they sat down for Remus’s last big secret.


	9. Padfoot

Remus and Alicia were once more clothed and had moved to the comfy chairs next to the fireplace. It had gotten a bit chilly so Remus had given Alicia a blanket to get snug under. She had her legs drawn underneath her, sitting comfortably and lazily making logs fly over to the fire to make it last longer.

Remus watched her for a moment. He felt nervous again. It was less bad than the moment she had entered his office and he still had to bring to her that he wanted her badly, however he wasn’t too sure about himself now either.

Once she had picked up a mug of hot cocoa he took a deep breath and decided to start. ‘Alicia, I need to tell you about my past. As you will see soon, it also effects the present. I need to ask you to listen until the end. Can you do that for me?’ Remus started.

Alicia nodded. ‘Of course I can do that for you.’ She winked at him and from that moment on remained silent. Remus started telling his entire story. He started with his childhood when he was attacked by Fenrir Greyback and infected with the lycanthropy virus. He told her how it was because of revenge on his father, who had gone too far in his statements about werewolves. But Remus knew that Greyback was always a loyal supporter of Voldemort and simply liked to hurt people and bite them on purpose. Alicia’s expression was full of empathy when he told her.

Then he moved on to his time at Hogwarts. How he never expected to be allowed in a school, but that Professor Dumbledore wanted to give him an opportunity. He told her about the Shrieking Shack and the help he got from Madame Pomfrey. Up until this point, it wasn’t hard for Remus to share this information. She already knew of his condition and this was just backstory. But now he had to tell her about three extraordinary boys.

‘Of course my condition was a secret to everyone in the school. I couldn’t tell my friends. However, in my second year my three best friends found out about me. I was so scared. I was sure they would turn me in with the teachers or spread my secret, but they didn’t. I couldn’t be more wrong! They decided to help me make the full moon more bearable. These years with their help have been the easiest years of transformation. Their presence calmed me.’

Because Remus left room for a pause, Alicia decided to pipe in. ‘They never got hurt? Being close to you during a full moon?’

Remus shook his head. ‘A werewolf is aggressive to _humans,_ but not to animals. These three learned to become animagi. They turned into animals to be able to stay close to me and stop me might I want to attack someone.’

Alicia’s eyes grew wide in amazement. She whispered ‘wicked’ before she settled for the rest of the story.

‘I told you my nickname, Moony. We were Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Yes maybe the nicknames are silly, but we thought we were amazing. We called ourselves the Marauders.’ Alicia tried to suppress a giggle. ‘They were my best friends throughout school and after that. All four of us signed up for the Order of the Phoenix so we could fight the Death Eaters. We knew that we did dangerous things and could die. We were prepared for the worst. But we weren’t prepared for what happened…betrayal. By a friend.’

Remus sighed and dropped his head in his hands. Alicia leaned forward to put a reassuring hand on his arm. ‘This is clearly still affecting you greatly. If you don’t want to share any more I understand…’

He looked up and smiled at her. ‘You are so kind. No, Alicia I need to tell you everything. You need to understand who my friends are…were.’ He took another deep breath and continued. ‘Prongs was a man you might know by name. James Potter. Father of Harry.’

Alicia gasped. She nearly spilled her drink in her shock. ‘I had no idea! Poor James. And his wife, she was called Lily, right? Did you know her too?’ Remus nodded. ‘Very well actually. She was exceptionally clever and kind. She also learned my secret later but never treated me differently. I miss her so much. She was a great friend.’

Tears stung in his eyes. He stared into the flames, thinking of moments he had spent with the red headed girl. She had always been so strong, so sure of herself. Nobody told her what to do, she only did what she thought was right. He looked up at the Ravenclaw in front of him and saw some of that spirit reflected in her eyes. He gave her a small smile, continuing to the hardest part.

‘Wormtail was called Peter Pettigrew. His animagi form was a rat. He was…well to put it nicely he didn’t have the heart of a lion. Most of the times he just followed us as we came up with ideas, but he wasn’t bad company. He was often scared in the time of the war, more so than the rest. We were sometimes afraid he would bail, or worse…spill all the secrets. But that didn’t happen. Poor Peter was murdered, the same night James and Lily died. All they found of him was a finger, so we know that he was one of the victims. Which…brings me to the last friend. The one I haven’t mentioned yet.’

There was intense eye contact between the two. Alicia didn’t understand yet. Remus was hoping she wouldn’t run away.

‘Padfoot…his real name is Sirius Black.’

He didn’t know what to expect. He was so scared, scared she would walk away without saying a word. Scared she would start flipping tables and shouting at him. Scared she would start crying in fear of the monster she thought Remus was.

What she did however, was nothing.

She sat very still, as if time had frozen her. She wasn’t blinking, neither breathing it seemed. Just when he wanted to check on her, she moved an inch and exhaled deeply.

‘Did you help Black get into the castle a while ago?’ she asked, her voice devoid of emotion.

‘No! No I was in the Hospital Wing with you remember? I would never help him! Not anymore. Not after what he did,’ Remus said desperately.

‘When is the last time you spoke to him?’ she asked, still not showing anything in her blank face.

‘The night before Halloween 1981. The night before everything changed. We were discussing business for the Order. He didn’t show any suspicious signs. He was short with me, but he had been for a while. I think something had been eating at him, but I couldn’t know what it was. I asked him once but he waved it off. Alicia, you have to understand that everything that happened that night was a shock so big I haven’t been able to deal with it until this year.’

She raised an eyebrow, first sign of expression. ‘What changed this year?’

He smiled weakly. ‘You. When you asked me about my past that day we were watching the Quidditch game from a distance. That was the first moment I allowed my mind to travel back to that next day when I heard the news. I have been a broken man for twelve years, but you fixed me and you didn’t even know it. I owe you so much.’

She closed her eyes and relaxed a bit. ‘So Sirius didn’t just give up two people to You-Know-Who…he gave up two of his best friends…and then murdered another. He is way worse than I thought. How does someone even do this?’

Remus was glad that for the time being she didn’t seem to blame him. But he couldn’t help feeling conflicted. ‘It didn’t make sense. It never made sense. James and Sirius were inseparable. Sirius hated his family so much he ran away from home. James’s parents took him in. They were practically brothers.’

Alicia just huffed and looked at the flames. She remained silent. Remus watched her closely. His eyes shifted over her, wondering what she was thinking. But he had to say what was on his mind. ‘Alicia, what I told you so far is information a lot of people can tell you. Everyone that was in school with us and half the teachers that are still here know that we were friends. Severus actually tried to convince Dumbledore not to hire me, for danger of me bringing Sirius into the school. Of course I would never risk that…but I need to tell you something. A thought that has been in the back of my mind for all those years. A thought that I fear to speak out loud. But I think I should tell you.’

She looked back at him. ‘Alright. Tell me.’

‘I don’t think he did it. Somewhere deep down I believe that Sirius is innocent,’ he said solemnly.

Alicia got up from her chair and started pacing the room. She was silent for a while before she talked again. ‘Why do you think so? Because he wouldn’t hurt his best friend? Anyone can crack under the pressure of torture.’

Remus shook his head. ‘You didn’t know him as a person. Sirius was headstrong. No, I think unbelievingly painstakingly stubborn is the right way to put it. He sure got into a lot of trouble but never because of bad intentions. Mostly it was because he had zero impulse control. Anyone can crack, maybe. But Sirius would be the last one. There were easier targets to pray for information. However, Sirius was the only one who knew where James and Lily were, because they were hiding. So no one else could have the information… unless there is something they didn’t tell me.’

‘If he is innocent, why did he break into the castle? You don’t think he is here to kill Harry? Then why is he here?’ Alicia turned to face him, her eyes wide. ‘Is he here for you?’

Remus sat back in the chair. ‘I don’t think so. He wouldn’t risk it. Besides, he had already broken out over the summer. It would be easier to come to me when I was alone at home. I have to admit, when you told me he had sneaked into the castle a part of my faith in him died. I can’t think of any other reason he might be here.’

She smiled at him knowingly. ‘But despite that, you are still not convinced he is the killer everyone thinks he is, right?’

Remus shook his head. Another silence stretched between the two. Alicia was standing behind the armchair, leaning over it. She was staring out the window, her mind in a thousand places. Remus didn’t know what to do.

‘Now you know everything. I can’t _prove_ to you that I’m not working with Sirius. But before you would have found out another way, I thought you should hear this from me. I can promise you something though.’ He got up from the chair and walked around to stand next to the Ravenclaw girl. He placed his hands on her shoulders and waited until she met his gaze.

‘I will do everything in my power to protect you, and the other students of this school against harm. Including Harry. If Sirius is here to kill him, I’m ready to kill my old friend to protect Harry. And I would do the same for you, if needed.’

Something flickered in her eyes. A soft expression. Maybe relief, maybe admiration. Remus was just happy she hadn’t done any of the things he was afraid of. However, he really wished she would say more. But she hugged him for now, and that felt good too. She held him tightly and Remus was happy to hold her like that. He sniffed the scent of her hair as his face was tucked in the crook of her neck. He kissed her lightly on her neck before letting her go. When she looked at him she looked better.

‘Thank you for telling me everything Remus. I understand none of this is easy for you. Murderer or no murderer, your old best friend is out there running for his life. And you don’t know whether to kill him or help him. The conflict you feel, it must be eating you up.’ He nodded, feeling sad. She placed her thumb on his chin and made him look her in the eye as she continued. ‘I don’t have the answers for you, but maybe I can soften the blow for you. I’m here for you, whatever you need. I’ve got your back.’

He could cry so happy that he felt. He laughed and cried at the same time. ‘You have no idea how happy that makes me.’ She smiled and hugged him again. ‘I think I have a pretty good idea,’ she whispered back at him. When he withdrew, he held her close and looked her in the eye. They gave each other an understanding look before Remus leaned in and kissed Alicia. This kiss wasn’t as needy and passionate as the other ones had been. This was more peaceful and friendly. It was all about sharing each other’s feelings.

When Alicia withdrew she smiled at him. ‘Remus, I’m starting to get really used to you. How are we ever going to keep this…relationship a secret from the school?’ Remus sighed and drew Alicia close to his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head and stroked her hair lovingly. ‘It will be hard but also necessary. I don’t think I have to explain to you what would happen if anyone found out. I think we should work out a system. Certain moments that we can be together. But not too schematically because that is noticeable. We’ll figure something out. But you have to be prepared that maybe we don’t find time to be together for weeks, or even months.’

Alicia pushed herself up to look at him, ready to protest. However he placed his finger against her lips. ‘You are nearly out of school. After that there will be no more restrictions. We can do what we want. But we don’t have that freedom now. I want you to graduate and I would very much like to keep this job. I’m sorry Alicia, but you know I’m right.’

Alicia groaned in frustration. She started pacing the room. She wanted to protest, however that was hard when he spoke so rationally. ‘Fine. But on one condition,’ she said finally.

Remus was smirking. ‘Alright. What is it?’

She bit her lip as she watched that enticingly smirk on his face. Then she walked back over to him and pulled his face closer by grabbing onto his shirt. She first placed a small kiss on his jaw and inhaled his scent before she spoke. ‘I want you for the rest of this day, at least. Neither of us go anywhere.’

Remus chuckled and kissed her quickly on the lips. ‘Nothing would make me happier.’


	10. Frustrations

It felt oddly claustrophobic when everyone returned after the holidays. Alicia was so used to wandering the halls alone, that she was surprised at how annoying it was when a group of slow-walking students were in front of her. She also had the irrational fear that her new secret was easy to spot and that everyone would know before long. She had a little panic attack when she entered the Ravenclaw common room after their first day back to classes. It was so _full._

‘Happy new year Alicia! How was your holiday? Did you do anything interesting?’ Elena asked cheerfully when Alicia sat back in her usual seat by the fireplace. She had to stifle a chuckle at her own thoughts. _No, I didn’t do anything interesting, I did someone interesting._ ‘Nothing that would interest you guys. I was mostly a loner. Did spend some time with Harry, Ron and Hermione though on the last weekend. They were bored too so we played some games. Oh and I studied thestrials in the forest. Or well, I tried. It’s very difficult when you can’t see them. What about you guys?’

Elena launched in a story about her parents and how annoying they were during Christmas. Then Sophia proudly told them everything about her relationship with Jared, the boy who had send Alicia a Christmas card. ‘I really hope you don’t mind,’ Sophia said worried. Alicia held up both hands. ‘You have nothing to worry about. You guys seem great together. I’m happy for you!’

When it was Michelle’s turn she got quiet. She looked out in the fire and her mind seemed far away. In the end she spoke softly to the others. ‘It wasn’t a lot of fun to go home. My father nearly stopped me from going back to Hogwarts. Since that murderer is still out there they are so worried. Ha! I don’t blame them. I am worried too.’

Alicia agreed. Remus seemed to think that Black was innocent, but she couldn’t bring herself to believing that. After her talk with Remus she had searched the newspapers for the whole story about Black. There were witnesses on the evening he killed all those muggles. There was just so much evidence…and he said himself that Black was the only one who knew the location of the Potters.

‘He won’t get into the castle again, I’m sure! Even if he does, he’s not after you, is he? You should be fine,’ Sophia said, trying to sound reassuring.

Michelle sighed and turned around to face Sophia. ‘No, I’m not his target. But should that mean that I don’t do anything about it?’ she spat back at her friend. ‘I feel like we are sitting ducks in this castle. At some point we need to stop waiting, and start searching and attacking.’

All three girls were surprised by Michelle’s sudden anger. Alicia wanted to ask her a follow-up question but Michelle had already left her seat. Before long she was in their dorm, out of sight.

‘What was that all about?’ Sophia asked, looking startled. Elena shrugged and Alicia tried to look reassuringly. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll give her some space and figure it out later.’

Elena leaned forward. ‘She didn’t actually mean she wants to…find Black…or something?’

Alicia raised an eyebrow. ‘I don’t think so. But something clearly happened over the holidays. We’ll ask her when she is ready.'

* * *

Following a routine of classes was starting to get boring again. Alicia never really cared too much about high grades or house points. She cared about magical creatures, about learning new spells that _she_ deemed interesting to learn and she cared about one particular teacher who hadn’t send her any word just yet. Two weeks had already passed and he was either very busy or he had forgotten her. She couldn’t stay behind at the end of the classes with him anymore, her friends were already too suspicious. She hadn’t passed him in the hallways and hadn’t received a letter from him as he promised he would do.

When their third class had ended Alicia was so anxious that she nearly ran over to him at the end of the class. Michelle had given her a questioning look when Alicia had stood behind her desk, rooted to her spot. She had stared at Professor Lupin until she could burn a hole in his head. When he finally looked up he seemed annoyed and conflicted. Alicia was about to take a step forward when he slightly shook his head in a clear warning signal.

She had spun on her heals and was out the classroom before he could explain himself. Michelle was at her side.

‘Wanna talk about it?’

‘Wanna talk about what went wrong during Christmas?’ Alicia spat back, not in the mood.

Michelle remained silent after that. They still hadn’t spoken about her problems. Both girls were happy now just evading these subjects.

That same night an owl came to the window of their dorm. Alicia had been reading in her bed. The others were still in the common room. She opened the window and allowed the pretty owl in. It was carrying a small piece of parchment. When she opened it, it was blank.

Alicia looked around to make sure she was alone. Then she said to the parchment ‘ _tell me Moony’_. Ink blotched across the surface as if the letter was written right in front of her.

_I miss you too, but you have to stop staring at me like that._

_Come to my office after 11 p.m. Try not to get caught._

_Moony._

Alicia rolled her eyes in annoyance, but ended up preparing for her departure. Everyone was pretty occupied with homework so no one noticed one more Ravenclaw student slipping out of the common room. She tiptoed down the halls. She was wearing dark trousers and a hoodie, so she could hide her light hair. Sneaking around was not something she did very often, but whenever she did it she was good at it. Lots of students got caught by prefects doing their rounds. Most of those students were trying to find a broom cupboard to kiss in. How wonderful to have privet chambers, instead of a dark and uncomfortable cupboard, Alicia thought.

She was near the stairs that would lead to the DADA classroom when she heard someone coming down them. She turned around and dived behind a statue. The person coming down the stairs was Harry. He looked kind of tired and was eating the remainders of a chocolate bar. When he stood in the hallway, he checked his surroundings. He missed Alicia sitting behind the statue right in front of him. She hoped he would simply walk away.

However, he did not. He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and put the tip of his wand against it. Alicia was intrigued to see what would happen next.

‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,’ Harry said to the parchment. From her position, Alicia couldn’t see what Harry was looking at, but this all reminded her of the spell Remus had taught her to password-protect paper. Funny, because he had also mentioned that not a lot of people knew how to do that. Apparently Harry was an exception.

If she hadn’t been surprised already by the Boy Who Lived, she was positively shocked when he suddenly looked straight at her hiding place and called out ‘Alicia?’

It took her a solid minute to step out of the shadows. ‘How did you know I was there?’

Harry seemed to remember the parchment he was holding. He crushed it against his chest and tried to shove it in his pocket. ‘Uhm, I saw you move,’ he said.

‘I didn’t move,’ Alicia replied.

‘Well, you did.’

‘You were looking down at your paper and then suddenly looked up at me! That was strange!’ She accused him, trying to read the red letters on the parchment. However it was a dark hallway and she couldn’t make out anything but shapes.

‘Well you were hiding behind a statue in a deserted hallway! That is strange too,’ he said back. He turned his back to her quickly and mumbled something. When he turned back he had stuffed the parchment in his pocket.

Alicia sighed. ‘Fine. How about we both don’t explain further and just continue our ways from here.’ Harry did seem ready to ask her more questions, but realised that he had to explain as well. In the end he nodded and started walking away.

She watched him go and mentally heard Remus reproach her for getting caught. Usually she was very sneaky. Harry had a trick up his sleeve that she didn’t know about.

When she stepped inside the classroom she could relax again. She had made it without trouble. Well, without _much_ trouble. Remus was dragging a big box across the room to stuff it in a corner.

‘Hello Alicia,’ he said without looking up. ‘I’ll be done in a minute.’

She walked over to help put the box away.

‘You shouldn’t strain yourself,’ Alicia reproached him. ‘Here let me help you.’ She turned around to get him a glass of water that he had placed on a student desk. However, before she could reach out he had grabbed her arms from behind and was holding her body to his. He snaked his arms around her to hold her tightly in an embrace. It took her a moment to realise what had happened.

‘Don’t treat me like an old man. I might be weaker but I am not _weak._ If you doubt me…’ one of his hands found its way under her hoodie and shirt and made its way up to cup her breast ‘I will show you,’ he whispered. Alicia gasped as he grabbed her boob and started massaging it. She felt his breath on her neck and then his tongue flicked past her ear.

‘I’m sorry professor. I won’t doubt you again. Is there any reason why you are so wild tonight?’ she asked with a chuckle. Remus spun her around in his arms and crushed his lips onto hers. Alicia felt her lips being parted by his tongue as he dove in and kissed her deeply. She moaned in his mouth and she knew the sound turned him on. ‘The look you gave me today after class. You were ready to jump on me, weren’t you?’ he said with a rumble in his voice. ‘You were driving me wild. If I had allowed you to come closer I might not have been able to stop myself. You looked so ready to be taken by me…’

His words were having a great effect on her. She could feel a wetness starting down there. Her knees went a bit weak as she leaned more into him for support. His smell was intoxicating. She kissed him roughly, needing more. ‘I want to be taken by you.’

She saw a flash of a smirk before she was flipped and thrown over his shoulder. He carrying her up the stairs to his office and private chambers.

‘Remus Lupin this is no way to handle a lady!’ Alicia protested, slapping him on his back. She heard him chuckle. ‘You are many things Alicia, but a lady you have yet to become.’ She yelled back several curse words at him but it only seemed to improve his mood. When he finally reached the bed he put her down.

‘You are insufferable,’ she stated. ‘You clearly have bad intentions,’ she said with a little smile, hoping to egg him on.

He laughed deeply and looked her in the eye. ‘I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.’

 _So he had given that parchment to Harry,_ was her last thought that wasn’t naughty. Because even though she recognised the saying from earlier, she wasn’t interested in discussing that now. The deep, hungry look he gave her in combination with a promise to ravage her was enough to make her burst of sexual frustration.

She took her wand from her pocket and waved it at Remus. His clothes started to leave his body in a slow motion. Within a minute, he was completely naked. He stared at her with shock and admiration. ‘You _have_ to teach me that one.’ Alicia took her time to admire his body. Last time everything was new and she didn’t know where to look. But now she wanted to study him for a moment. Her hands snaked around his neck, where she caressed him. She kissed his collarbone and his shoulder. Her hands travelled over his skin, finding the way his muscles flexed and all the little dents and cuts he sported. He had quite a lot of thin silvery scars on his arms, shoulders and back. A bigger one, two inches wide, ran from his back to the front over one shoulder.

She also noticed in delight, that he had quite a young and agile body. It was easy to think him weak and scrawny with those large shabby clothes he wore. He wasn’t trying to show off how toned and muscular he actually was. Her hands travelled down to rest on his hips, where she massaged him. His hips were narrow and around them she could feel more sharp features. He was slightly underweight around this area.

Remus was standing very still as she watched and explored his body. He had even closed his eyes. It was an opportunity she had to take. She crouched down and sat on her knees, her face right in front of his cock. It wasn’t yet completely hard, but she could fix that. Without warning she leaned forward and licked along his entire length. He inhaled sharply. ‘Merlin’s beard! I didn’t realise you were down there!’ he yelped, but at the same time he didn’t make it sound like he wanted her away from that position. She chuckled lightly before doing it again. His cock responded to her touch, hardening and twitching. She placed two fingers on top of the tip and felt the first wetness of his body. She used it as lube as she started placing her hand around his member.

‘You are pretty wild Moony. But I’m sure I can tame you,’ she teased before wrapping her lips around his cock. He cursed again and moaned after that when she started taking more and more of him in her mouth. She felt a hand on the back of her head as he softly thrusted against her face.

He suddenly stepped back, leaving her with nothing to touch. She got back to her feet where Remus made quick work of her clothes. Before she knew it she was naked too and he was pushing her on the bed. Alicia wanted to lie down on her back, but Remus made a disapproving noise and grabbed her shoulder. She wanted to ask what he wanted, but he was already showing her. He was sitting on the bed and pulled her into his lab, with her back to his chest.

‘You want me like this?’ she asked a little confused. He growled in her ear. ‘I want you in every way. But for now…’ He reached around her body with his hands and grabbed her wet pussy. She gasped and let her head fall back on his shoulder. ‘For now I will take you like this,’ he finished. He sounded very wild, like an animal claiming what was his. She felt first one, then two fingers slipping inside her, thrusting in and out. She could feel her body responding to the pleasure he was giving her.

‘Remus,’ she breathed. He responded by softly biting her neck. He continued to push his fingers in, now three, and groaned deeply whenever she made sounds of pleasure. She felt very exposed like this, her legs being opened this far, and it gave an extra edge of naughtiness to her already increasing horniness.

‘Remus if you don’t stop I will…’ she tried to say. He withdrew his fingers right away and put them in his mouth. He moaned. ‘You taste great Nessie,’ he purred in her ear. Once again she felt a wave of pleasure at the way he used her nickname.

He was pushing her forward so she had to place her hands in front of her on the bedspread. Now she was on all fours in front of him and she realised this is what he wanted all along. His hands travelled over her body, from the inside of her thighs to her breasts. She could feel his body above hers as she felt more and more anxious. ‘Is this okay with you?’ he asked. Alicia nodded quickly, just wanting him to start taking her. So he did. He placed himself behind her. She could feel his cock rubbing against her pussy and her clit. The feeling was wonderful and she moaned deeply.

‘Fuck Remus. You feel fucking amazing.’ He groaned again and pushed inside of her in a swift motion. She had to bite down to keep from waking up half the castle with her screams. From this angle, he was hitting a whole other spot and a whole other feeling of pleasure. But it wasn’t just that, she also felt extra horny because of the way he was fucking her from behind. Just the thought of how this must look for a bystander was driving her mind to the edge of extasy.

He was thrusting harder now, and if the sounds he made were anything to go by, he was greatly enjoying it. He leaned forward and cupped her breasts with his hands as he continued to fuck her. He was rubbing her sensitive nipples so wonderfully.

‘You feel so good Alicia,’ he told her. She gasped in response. ‘So do you Remus. Now, fuck me harder.’ He complied and started going faster and deeper. They were both panting like crazy now. The bed was creaking and she heard their bodies slapping against each other. But all that was background noise to his moans and the amazing feeling in her body.

His breaths were getting shorter and she realised he was coming soon. She took one of his hands and pushed it down to her clit. He understood and started rubbing her with the same intense passion as he was fucking her. Both of them were screaming out their climax.

Alicia had lost all strength in her arms, and was now laying face-first in the bed. Remus had collapsed on top of her. They were both trying to recover from their shared orgasm. ‘You are really okay with me taking you from behind? If you feel uncomfortable you should tell me,’ Remus tried to say between gasps of air. Alicia just chuckled. ‘Do I not seem completely okay?’

He rolled off her and summoned two glasses of water to fly over. As she drank he replied. ‘You do. But I want to make sure. I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel like there is something you can’t tell me. But you are right, I know that you would tell me if something was bothering you. Just…just checking.’

Alicia pecked him on the cheek. ‘And that makes you a good man. Thanks for asking. For your information, that was incredibly hot and you are _so_ doing that again to me.’

They laughed together. After a moment they were getting colder and decided to climb under the sheets. Alicia was snuggled up against his side when a question formed in her mind. ‘Remus?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Does the moon effect your…well your mood?’

He laughed. ‘You mean how _wild_ I am? Yes, on the days around the full moon most of my senses are heightened. Hearing, smell but also sexual drive.’

She frowned. ‘Smell? What, you smell more than regular?’

‘Yes. I smell the food from the Great Hall when I leave my classroom. I can smell sweat when someone is scared. I can even…’

He had stopped. He looked unsure. ‘What is it?’ Alicia asked, curious.

He looked at her. ‘Don’t get mad. But I can smell arousal as well. Today for example. During the class, I could smell you. It was very distracting.’

Her mouth hung open. ‘Merlin’s beard! That is so embarrassing! I’m sorry. Maybe I can learn to stop it-,’ He had turned on his side and had her cheek cupped in his hand. ‘Don’t. I love it. Do you have any idea how good it feels to know how much you want me? Even in an unromantic setting like a lecture where I talk about the Patronus charm? Alicia, I love it.’

She was holding her breath until she was sure he was done talking. ‘Okay,’ she breathed. ‘But it’s still a bit weird.’ The smile on Remus’s face widened and they laughed together.

They stayed in bed for a while longer and talked about the time that had passed in the last two weeks, and Remus asked her a bunch of questions. He wanted to know more about her family, her time in Hogwarts and her bond with Hagrid. After that he told her more about himself. Random moments in their lives. Alicia was so comfortable next to him she nearly drifted off to sleep.

Unfortunately she couldn’t do that; she still had to go back to the Ravenclaw dormitory. But for a while she pretended to forget that and just enjoy the time they had together. It was frustrating to know she had to go and pretend like nothing happened, but it was worse that she knew it would be another couple of weeks before she could be back with him.

Remus yawned and stretched. ‘I think you should go back, I’m about to fall asleep and so will you.’ Alicia sighed as she rolled out of the bed. ‘Will it be two weeks again before I see you like this?’ she asked as she dressed herself. Remus was laying on his side, face propped on his hand as he watched her move around the room. ‘I don’t know. Not to sound like a teacher, but you shouldn’t be too distracted from your N.E.W.T.S. coming up.’

She gave him a wicked grin. ‘Yes, Professor Lupin.’

He growled and jumped out of bed. He took her arms in his hands and held her close to his body. They stared into each other’s eyes before Remus leaned in and kissed her roughly. When he stopped the kiss he said: ‘You can’t say that.’

‘I can’t?’ Alicia asked as she cocked an eyebrow.

‘You drive me crazy when you do that,’ he whispered as he got closer and kissed her again. Alicia reciprocated the kiss eagerly. She was starting to get lost in his scent again, but realised she didn’t have the time for another round in the sheets. She pulled back, biting his lower lip in the process.

He whined like a hurt animal and Alicia smiled at that. She kissed him on the nose once more before she got her wand from the bedstand and was ready to go.

‘I guess we part ways for a while again. But it is good to know I’m not the only one who will count down the days,’ Alicia said, knowing that her last actions had done exactly that. Remus smirked. ‘You cheeky girl.’ She giggled in conformation.

‘I’ll send you another owl when I find the time. I hope it is soon, Alicia. I’ll miss you,’ he said sincerely. Her heart was very full in that moment. She smiled and turned around, but when her hand was on the door handle she remembered something.

‘Hey I didn’t know you were sharing our secrets with Harry by the way. You know, the password protected messages on paper,’ she said as she turned around.

Remus looked confused. ‘I didn’t. I told you, not a lot of people know how to do that.’

Alicia shrugged. ‘Well Harry had a piece of paper that he spoke to. And I am positive it came from you.’

He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow. ‘And why is that?’

‘Because it was the same password you said to me when we were uhh… about to have sex. _I solemnly swear I’m up to no good,’_ she replied. Then Alicia left the office and went back to her own bed, leaving Remus looking perplexed.


	11. A glimpse into the future

Remus had been right; Alicia really needed to focus on the final exams. She was still behind on her work for potions and transfiguration. These were her least favourite classes and she was afraid her average scores wouldn’t be enough to pass for her N.E.W.T.S. She needed to pay more attention during the classes and try for some extra tasks to get in the good favour of Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape.

With the head of Gryffindor house Alicia didn’t have too much trouble. After some time of asking a lot of questions in class and staying behind to check her work, the older witch seemed satisfied that the Ravenclaw girl could pass her tests. Alicia never liked transfiguration that much, but her teacher was a kind woman who rewarded hard work well.

Professor Snape however, proved to be more of a problem. The potions teacher with the slick black hair and long nose was infamous amongst Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. He clearly hated Gryffindors the most, but the others felt the unfair treatment towards everyone who wasn’t in Slytherin house too. It was therefore no use to try and be a know-it-all in his classes, neither would he take the time to review work after class. Alicia became more and more irritated with the professor’s biased behaviour, when an opportunity presented itself. Damian, the Slytherin boy who fancied her, wanted to help her out. Every question she needed answering was played to Damian who would ask and get an answer back. It was ridiculous that it was needed, but Alicia was just glad to see her work improving.

In February they took practice exams and the results were better than expected. Alicia felt more and more confident about her academic career. She was still in contact with Charlie Weasley, who assured her that as long as she passed her marks would not affect her chances of getting in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary. With that pressure gone, it was purely her own strive that pushed her past average.

Because she was so active in all her classes, she also dared to be more involved with the Defence Against the Dark Arts classes. Whenever she raised her hand to ask a question or give an answer, she could see a tiny smile on the lips of her professor. Elena, Sophia and Michelle had stopped asking questions so Alicia was confident they were sneaky enough.

Valentine’s day was another episode of awkwardness for her. When the post came in during breakfast letters kept being thrown on her plate. It was a repetition of the Christmas cards, but this was worse. At least with the Christmas cards they were also from friends, but this time it was only lovers. She simply kept her red face down to face the table and tried to ignore the growing pile in front of her.

Alicia was about to leave the table when Michelle cleared her throat. ‘Shouldn’t you take these?’ she said, indicating the pile of love letters. Alicia groaned and started scooping the cards in her bag. Without looking anyone in the eye she fled from the Great Hall.

It was time for her weekly study session with Hermione. The girls found a mutual interest in many subjects and became regular study partners and friends. Hermione could more than once help Alicia out too, since the third-year was advanced far beyond her age. Alicia got to the hallway that led to the library, when she found the girl with the bushy brown hair. She was accompanied by her usual friends, Harry and Ron.

‘Hey guys,’ Alicia said with a smile. She was still blushing from her awkward morning.

Ron seemed very happy to see her. ‘Hi Alicia! Good to see you. Did…uh…did you have a nice breakfast?’

She wanted to launch in a story about lovesick puppies, but was cut short when Ron asked one more question. ‘Did you receive my letter, by any chance?’

 _Great! This is just brilliant. How am I going to save myself from this one?_ She blushed fiercely but couldn’t really stop herself from saying what was on her mind. She swung the shoulder bag to the front of her body and opened it. All three could see the huge collection of red and pink paper. Ron turned scarlet, Hermione gave a little gasp and Harry just seemed amused.

‘Which one?’ Alicia replied, a little more irritated than she wanted to sound. By the look on Ron’s face, she regretted her action. She wanted to say sorry, when some kids came running down the hall and bumped into Alicia’s side. Her bag went flying and the letters spilled all over the floor.

‘Watch it!’ Alicia called after the kids. She went from embarrassed to angry. The first-years scurried away quickly. Then she sighed as she looked at the mess. ‘Just what I needed. I don’t think this morning can get any worse.’

‘That is quite the collection you have there, Miss Doreen. But displaying them like this all over the hallway is a bit much, don’t you think?’ said an amused voice behind her. Alicia didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. She just closed her eyes and cursed whatever bad karma she had today.

‘Hello professor,’ Harry greeted Professor Lupin, who just happened to be there at the worst possible moment. The four students were already picking up the letters and throwing them back in her shoulder bag, when Professor Lupin got out his wand and made them all fly back in. He caught the last one from the air and studied the handwritten words saying _to the most awesome girl in Hogwarts._

‘I had no idea you were this popular. Will you reply to them?’ he asked casually. Alicia held out her hand for him to place the last letter in. When he did their hands brushed against each other. She had to refrain herself from reacting to it. ‘What, to all of them? If I had a time turner and could reset a week than maybe I would have the time for it. However since I don’t possess one, I think some boys will be left hanging.’

‘But you will at least read them, right? We can help you if you like,’ Harry said with a huge grin on his face. Alicia wished she could silence him with a glare. Ron stepped further and further to the back as he tried to blend in with the tapestries on the wall. Alicia sighed. ‘I didn’t ask for this, but it is actually very sweet. A lot of people show interest in me, and I appreciate that.’ Ron actually looked up to face her. He seemed a bit better. ‘And I will find the time to read them. But not now, we have the 18th century Goblin rebellion to read up on, right Hermione?’

Hermione nodded. Alicia smiled thankfully. Professor Lupin shifted on his feet before he spoke to them. ‘That’s right. You girls are being smart to prepare so well. Good luck on studying, I’ll be seeing you in my class.’ After a short goodbye from them he continued walking, but then stopped for a moment. ‘Oh and, Happy Valentine’s day,’ he said over his shoulder. Harry and Ron laughed quietly as Hermione rolled her eyes. Alicia was tempted to say something back, but decided against it. In the end she entered the library with Hermione, having said goodbye to the boys.

‘Well that wasn’t awkward at all,’ Alicia said quietly as they sat down in a corner of the library. Hermione was spreading all her stuff on the table. ‘Not to sound…jealous or whatever, but why do you get so many letters? Do you…flirt a lot?’ Hermione asked.

Alicia chuckled. ‘No I don’t at all. I talk to people, sure. Maybe they see that as flirting. What can I say? Teenage boys are unpredictable and needy. If I could give them any advice, I’ll tell them to find another girl to pursue. I’m not interested.’

‘You aren’t interested in any of them?’ Hermione asked incredibly.

Alicia cleared her throat and looked away. She was sure the clever brunette would figure out there was _someone_ on her mind. Better to hide her secrets in a partly truth. ‘I’m not interested in anyone that send me a letter today.’

‘But there is someone you like, who didn’t send you a letter?’ Hermione said smugly. Alicia gaped like a fish. ‘How did you-,’

‘Oh please. I know I don’t get involved in a lot of girl stuff but it is clear there is someone on your mind. I don’t think you will tell me who it is?’ she asked, sounding very curious.

After another moment of staring she relaxed and smiled. ‘Let’s just say I’m not interested in fellow students. I think my romantic life will begin after I graduate.’

Hermione’s eyes shifted over her features, analysing that reply. Then she gasped and held her hands to her face. ‘Is it Charlie? Ron’s older brother?’

After her initial urge to laugh out loud, Alicia understood why that would be a logical option. It fitted with what she had just said, and her relationship with Remus started after she had met Charlie. Even though she didn’t want Charlie to ever think that, maybe for now it was a good cover story.

Alicia’s pause seemed to confirm the theory for Hermione. ‘I won’t say anything, I promise,’ Hermione said eagerly.

‘Okay, you got me. But you have to _swear_ to not tell anyone. Not Ron or Harry. Just no one, okay? I might lose my job opportunity if anyone finds out,’ Alicia said cautiously. Hermione gestured to zip up her lips and then started focusing on the books.

As Alicia tried to focus on the text in front of her, her mind was replaying their conversation. Suddenly she realised something. Something that started to feel like a problem. On the one hand, she wanted to go to Romania and work with dragons after school ended. On the other, she wanted to have a relationship with Remus. Was that going to be a problem? Would he go with her as she lived her dream? Or would he stay to teach at Hogwarts? Would they even see each other then? Would their long distance relationship fall apart over time?

She was sinking deep into what-ifs and bleak ideas of her future. Then she shook her head and banned all of it from her mind. She was thinking way too far ahead. Who could tell they were still together at the end of the year? There were still so many things to come before she had to worry about that.

It was quiet for nearly an hour at their table. They were reading and writing in silence. At the end they reviewed each other’s work and adjusted what needed adjusting. Alicia was happy with Hermione’s insight. She reminded her of Michelle, also a silent force that was very clever. Elena and Sophia were more book-smart. They could memorize texts from start to finish but they weren’t very inventive. Deep down Alicia sometimes wondered what her two friends were doing in Ravenclaw.

They were packing up their stuff when Alicia shivered from a wave of cold air. Hermione looked unhappy too as she was looking out the window. Right outside was a dementor, silently passing by. Its torn hood drifted in the wind behind the dark and creepy creature. It was so despising that it was hard to look away. Alicia felt a tap on her shoulder and realised she was staring at the creature. Hermione guided her away from the window.

‘If only they could just leave Hogwarts,’ Alicia said with a grimace. Hermione looked thoughtful. ‘They still have a job to do. Catch Sirius Black.’ Alicia huffed. ‘They’re not doing anything except creeping people out. And anyway, I doubt Black would still come here. It would be like suicide.’

‘Maybe if he wants Harry bad enough…’ Hermione said quietly. Alicia looked at the smaller girl. ‘You believe that? That he would come here to kill Harry?’ Hermione shrugged. ‘He has already been in the castle. What other reason could he have?’

Alicia was really, really hoping that Remus was not the reason. ‘How does Harry feel about all of this?’

Hermione sighed deeply. ‘Since Harry found out that Black was a friend to his parents, he has been livid. I truly believe that if Harry sees the chance, he would want to hurt him. Or worse…’ She looked deeply troubled. Alicia could understand how she felt. Her best friend was having a difficult time and she couldn’t do anything about it. On top of that, Harry might get himself into danger.

‘What would you do if you found Sirius?’ Alicia asked. Hermione looked up with determination. ‘I have been practicing a whole set of spells that I would like to test on that…that…criminal!’ She balled her hands up in fists and set her teeth. Alicia realised she never wanted to be on Hermione’s bad side.

* * *

The Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom was filled with blue light. It was the last day of practicing Patronus charms for the seventh years. Some students had managed to make a corporeal Patronus, but most could only muster wisps of light. It wasn’t required to make a corporal Patronus to pass the exams, luckily.

Alicia had been practicing a lot over the last weeks and had managed to summon a corporeal Patronus in the dormitory two days ago. Today, her dragon flew high above all the other students their attempts. As far as guardians went, she felt safe with this one.

When she produced it there was a round of applause, laugher and comments like: ‘what else for Nessie!’ She felt pleased with herself for the beginning of the class.

When her moment of pride had subsided a bit she looked over to Michelle. She knew her friend was frustrated that she had such difficulty producing the protector charm. However, today she looked even more miserable. Not even a bit of light was coming from her wand.

Alicia walked over to her, her dragon still gliding through the classroom. She put a hand on Michelle’s shoulder. ‘Hey. You know it isn’t important whether you conjure one or not, right?’

Michelle’s shoulders sunk even lower. ‘It’s not that. I am simply not in the mood to think about happy memories.’ Her statement was followed by a deep sigh. ‘Alicia I’m in deep trouble with my parents.’

Alicia hadn’t expected that. ‘Why? What happened?’

Her friend’s hand wiped a tear away quickly. There was too much going on in the classroom for people to notice them. ‘You know both my parents are wizards, right? My grandmother on my mum’s side was a half-blood, so I suppose I’m not really a pureblood, but something close to it.’

Alicia had known this, but also knew that Michelle never cared about blood-status. ‘Yeah?’

Another sigh. ‘Well, they feel impending danger. I think Black’s escape was the jumpstart of their worries. They think that soon people will start taking sides again…like it happened last time.’

Alicia felt something drop to the pit of her stomach. The dragon disappeared. ‘And they are taking _his_ side?’ she whispered. Michelle looked ready to cry out loud, but Alicia had always known her as a tough person. ‘I think so. They don’t want me to become an Auror. They think I will get killed if I do that.’

It was hard to comfort her with such impending problems. All Alicia could do for now was put her arm around her friends shoulder. ‘I know they said all that because they are scared, but I’m so _ashamed._ Can you imagine being too scared to fight for what is right? Can you imagine being such a coward…’

‘Okay listen,’ Alicia said. ‘Maybe this was just their initial reaction. Maybe they need time to get used to the feeling and maybe they turn around. And hey, at this point we are still save. I know Black is out there, but that is just one man. One man against Dumbledore, all the dementors, the Ministry and all the other teachers here at the school.’ She thought about what Remus had said. _I will kill my own friend before he hurts Harry, or you or anyone._ ‘And as for the Auror job, you have to do it. You have been determined for years to get into the program. Anything else just wouldn’t feel…right.’

Michelle sniffed. ‘I know. I am just…scared too. The other night I was all tough, saying I would want to find Black and do something about it. The truth is…he scares me so much I have nightmares about him. In my eyes, he is the first step towards a second war.’

That idea hadn’t crossed Alicia’s mind yet, but now that it did she felt as sad as Michelle did. No wonder her Patronus wasn’t working today.

‘Is everything alright Michelle?’ said Professor Lupin, who had walked over to them. Alicia looked up at him with a grim expression. ‘She is simply not in a state of mind to produce a Patronus. Sorry professor.’ Michelle nodded but couldn’t look him in the eye.

‘That is quite alright. The class is over anyway. Would you two like to stay behind for a cup of tea and some time to adjust?’ he offered. Michelle looked up at him, then at Alicia. ‘That would be nice, professor.’

He smiled. Then he told the class that they could go. Alicia pushed Michelle to the front of the classroom. Elena and Sophia looked concerned. ‘Let me handle this, I will tell you later,’ Alicia said to them. They didn’t protest and left the classroom with the rest.

Remus did as promised. He brought the kettle and cups from his office down to the classroom and brewed them some Camille tea. He also offered them chocolate.

‘Professor, can I ask you something?’ Michelle asked. She sounded more sure of herself.

‘Of course.’

‘Did you take part in the last wizarding war?’

Remus looked thoughtful, probably not expecting that question. ‘I did. Did you hear about the Order of the Phoenix?’

Michelle gasped. ‘Of course! They were the reason we won from He Who Must Not Be Named, right?’

There was a faint smile on Remus’ lips. ‘I wouldn’t know whether we were the reason, but we tried to help where we could. Protect families, plan attacks and trying to round people up to fight. It were dark times.’

Alicia looked down, thinking about the story of James and Lily Potter. Michelle seemed to burst with questions now. ‘How old were you? How old do you have to be to sign up?’

This was the part were Remus got careful. ‘You know, Michelle, the Order is gone now. There is no war anymore.’ Michelle slammed her fist down on the desk. The teacups rattled. ‘As someone who has been in the Order you should know that there is no peace anymore, and soon we will be back at war. A Death Eater escaping from Azkaban? Rumours about You Know Who not being dead? All the trouble from the last two schoolyears when Dumbledore told us he was behind it? With all due respect Professor Lupin, if you believe we live in peace than you are blind.’

Alicia had rarely heard Michelle so passionate and aggressive. And definitely never in the presence of a teacher. That talk with her parents must have really stirred her up.

Remus however, stayed calm. Only his eyes showed worry. ‘Do you believe that the escape of Sirius Black will bring about a next war? Michelle, I don’t know what to tell you. I think you worry too much, or perhaps too soon. I can tell you that the Order is inactive now. But might we ever get to the point of war, then I will be happy to vouch for you. You are an excellent dueller and a brilliant witch. If you still want it in a time like that, I will help you.’

Alicia couldn’t believe it. ‘Don’t tell me you think there will be a second war too?’

Remus shrugged. Michelle’s face finally lit up again. ‘I’ll hold you to that promise, professor.’

Alicia’s eyes went from the one to the other. ‘There is no war. You Know Who is dead. What Harry battled the last two years were leftovers… memories. He is dead. There is no second war. Professor, I really didn’t think you would talk those ideas and fears into her head.’ She stared him down, quite angry now.

‘So you aren’t afraid of Black?’ Michelle asked while finishing her cup of tea. Alicia threw her hands up. ‘Yes Michelle! I’m really afraid of that criminal. I wish he was captured already, so we could go back to normal times. But I fail to see your so-called link between him and a new war!’

Remus had flinched. He had actually looked down and grimaced when she said she wished Black back in jail. _Guess he has more faith in Black than he let on. He practically believes his innocence without proof!_ And then there was Michelle, who seemed a lot calmer. She stood up and placed a hand on Alicia’s shoulder, like she was the one who needed soothing now.

‘It’s okay Alicia. Not everyone has to fight. And maybe you are right and I’m paranoid. But you don’t have to feel involved,’ Michelle said calmly.

Alicia wondered what strange alternate reality she had fallen into where between the three of them, _she_ was the one who shouldn’t feel involved. ‘Fine. If you feel better, shall we go? I don’t want to keep Professor Sprout waiting,’ Alicia said in the end.

‘Yes I think that is a good idea. I do hope you feel better Michelle. If you ever feel the need to talk to me, my door will be open,’ Remus told her. He cleared up the cups and walked back into his office.

Alicia was still replaying everything in her head that was said in the classroom as the two of them walked to the greenhouse.

‘Do you really want to fight, Mich? If it ever happens…do you think you could do it?’ Alicia asked carefully.

Michelle looked at her. ‘Yes. As long as I’m sure what I’m fighting for. I’ll give everything for equality and freedom. What about you?’

Alicia huffed. ‘Call me selfish, but I’d stick to dragons. I understand beasts way better than I understand people.’

Michelle hit her lightly on the shoulder. ‘I completely understand. Hey by the way, I might be wrong, but I think he knows you have a crush on him.’

‘You think so?’


	12. Change of heart

On the next Saturday there was another Quidditch match: Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw. All her Gryffindor friends had been driving Alicia mad with their rivalry. It just so happened that she knew three guys on the Gryffindor team (Harry, Fred and George) and everyone was using that against her. When she was in the Ravenclaw tower people were avoiding her because they thought she was a spy, and when she was with Gryffindor friends they were hoping that she _would_ be a spy. In all truth, she couldn’t care less.

But because Fred and George wouldn’t leave her alone until she had agreed, she said she would go to the match. She was sitting at the breakfast table with her usual three friends, when Fred came up to them. He looked Alicia up and down and looked disappointed.

‘No red and gold colours?’ he asked, sounding like a sad puppy. Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Also no blue and bronze, as you might have noticed. I am not actively rooting for either team.’

‘But you are our friend! That’s the least you can do for a friend, right? Who do you know on the Ravenclaw team anyway?’ Fred argued.

‘Fred, you do realise I have to sleep in a dormitory in the Ravenclaw tower right? I will be thrown out if I wear red and gold. Now stop your moping and just be glad I’m coming. That is already an achievement.’

Michelle and the others giggled. ‘That is very true. I think that her last match was in our fourth year, right? Last time you bothered to watch it?’ Michelle said teasingly.

‘Third year, actually. But I still have these nostalgic feelings about leaving the school so guess I can attend one more,’ she said with feigned annoyance. ‘And also because my friends are playing and I want to support them,’ she added with a wink.

Fred seemed pleased with that. He ruffled her hair before striding away to the Gryffindor table. ‘You should have gone on a valentine date with him,’ Elena said, looking after the red-head, ‘I bet he is an amazing boyfriend.’

Alicia chuckled and dared to look up at Michelle. The clever dark-haired girl was smiling back, but didn’t portray any other emotions. ‘I bet he will try to prank you constantly. Can you handle that, Elena?’ Alicia teased. Elena blushed. ‘I didn’t mean for me, but for you. He clearly fancies you.’

Alicia rolled her eyes as she sipped her tea. ‘I know. I read the valentine card he gave me.’ The three girls were giving her expectant looks. ‘Oh I’m not telling you guys! That is mean. Half the boys who send me those cards put all of their feelings in them! I felt pretty bad having to read them all, knowing I don’t feel the same for them.’

Sophia sighed. ‘You are the worst. Just pick a bloody boyfriend already! They won’t be lining up for you forever, you know?’

Alicia just shook her head and laughed. She glanced quickly up at the head table, and noticed that Remus wasn’t there. She wasn’t too surprised because tonight was the full moon.

After breakfast they walked towards the Quidditch pitch. The snow was gone but it was still cold outside, definitely with the wind blowing steadily from the West. The hill they were descending was slippery and wet from the recent rain.

‘Psst!’

Alicia looked up to see who had made the sound. To her left were a couple of trees and bushes. When she saw nobody she started to think she had imagined it, but then she saw someone moving. It was Remus. He stepped out between the bushes and looked directly at her. He looked shaken.

Alicia turned around and nearly groaned when she saw that her three friends had also seen and heard Remus. They were looking at him with curious expressions. Alicia exchanged a look with Michelle. ‘You guys go on, I’ll catch up,’ she said to them.

At first they didn’t move, but then Michelle urged them on. Alicia was a little annoyed by his blunt behaviour. She stepped up to him and they disappeared between the trees, making sure people couldn’t see them. ‘Since when are you this careless? I’m going to have to explain this to the girls. They were just starting to let me off the hook!’ Alicia started, pinching the bridge of her nose to calm down.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to get to you before…argh…before you were in the arena,’ Remus said. He sounded pained and out of breath. At once her irritation disappeared. She remembered he was going through a very rough day.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

‘I have a problem. I have no more of the wolfsbane potion. My body is reacting to it severely. I’m in much more pain than usual. Like a withdrawal,’ he said between pants. He was leaning on a tree and she could see him shaking. Without thinking she placed a hand on his upper arms, wishing she could give him her strength.

‘But Professor Snape makes those for you, right? I can go and get him-,’

‘No, he isn’t here. I just asked Professor Sprout. He is gone for the weekend and he hasn’t left anything behind for me. Not even a note to tell me where he is off to. I guess this is his sense of humour.’

Alicia got angry. ‘How could he?! He knows the consequences that has on you, right? What an ass-,’

‘Yes I know. No time for that now. I need you for something else. I’m so sorry to ask you to do this, but I didn’t see another option. How good are you with protective spells?’ Remus asked.

A confused look came on her face. ‘Pretty good. What am I protecting?’

‘The Shrieking Shack. Because of the Wolfsbane potion, I’ve been able to control myself. But now I can’t, so I might get out of the house. You can’t let that happen. Make sure that when I get there tonight, there is no possible way for the wolf to get out.’

Alicia nodded. Remus looked in her eyes and saw the worry. ‘I know you are afraid of running into Sirius. I’m so sorry about this. Maybe I can ask a teacher…’

She shook her head. ‘No I will do it. You shouldn’t involve more people in your secret. I’ll be fine. You look like you can better stay in bed until tonight.’

He shook his head. ‘No I’m going to look for Dumbledore. Maybe he knows how to contact Severus or has some potion himself. You can get to the Shack by a tunnel that starts under the Whomping Willow. Immobilize the tree and get in under the roots. That way you end up in the house. When you leave, make sure to block the entrance again. Alicia, I’m asking a lot. It could be dangerous. Please be careful.’

She cupped his face in her hands. ‘Don’t worry, I will be fine. Worry about yourself. And know that you can _always_ ask me to help you. You are worth it.’

He looked touched. She could almost see his eyes watering before he looked down and took her hands to kiss them. ‘What did I do to deserve you?’ he whispered. She kissed him on the forehead and held him for a moment. ‘Nothing, and everything. Just by being yourself.’

She released him and started moving away. ‘Be careful Moony.’

‘You too, Nessie.’

* * *

Her feet were planted in a wide stance and she was moving her weight from the one leg to the other. She kept twisting her wand around in her hand. Under her breath she was reciting useful spells. Her eyes were on her opponent.

The Whomping Willow was flailing it’s branches around like a merry-go-round on drugs. Her first two attempts to attack the tree had only angered it. She knew how to immobilize a person, but it turned out this 20 feet tall murderous tree needed a bigger dose. 

Alicia pushed off and ran over to the tree. It was already raising its entire body to crush her to the ground, but before it could swing down she yelled ‘ _Immobulus!’_ for the third time. This time it seemed to work. She kept running towards the opening under the roots. There was an ominous cracking sound and the branches started moving again. Alicia screamed as she ran for her life. When the opening came up in front of her she jumped in. Mid-air she still felt a branch hit her in the back but it only pushed her forward.

The ground was hard and the impact hurt her badly. She groaned and clutched her back and bottom, who took the fall. ‘We’re doing this for Remus,’ she reminded herself as she stood up and started walking down the dark tunnel. She conjured floating lights that followed her so she could see her surroundings. It was very moist and narrow. There were roots around the opening, probably from the Willow. She kept on going and felt the tunnel rising slowly after a long while. It made some twists and turns before she could see daylight at the end. It was a narrow opening into the hallway of a very rundown house. All the furniture was broken or ripped to pieces. She stepped out of the tunnel and into the hallway and dimmed the lights. The walls were so worn down that the sunlight was piercing through the spaces in-between the planks. Clouds of dust stirred as she walked through the house. She found a chair where large chunks had been torn out of and one leg was missing.

‘Love what you’ve done with the place Moony,’ she said sarcastically.

Then she heard a noise from above. She stiffened and held her wand out to the stairs leading to the floor above. She waited a minute, but nothing moved.

‘It’s just the house,’ she whispered to herself, even though she didn’t really believe that. She moved forward slowly. Upstairs was a door to what seemed like the bedroom. The door was ajar, showing her a part of the room. She could see the end of a large bed. Gathering all of her courage she stepped into the room and made a 360 turn to inspect her surroundings. When she saw no one, she relaxed.

‘Guess it really just was the house.’

‘Who are you?’

When she would tell this story later, she was going to leave out the part where she screamed like a frightened child. She whipped around to see that someone had been standing behind the door. _Idiot! Letting your guard down before you inspected the entire room!_ The man closed the door and so blocked her way out.

‘Don’t play games with me witch! Who are you?’ he demanded. She looked at his face and almost yelled again. His eyes were so sunken that he resembled a skeleton. His skin was stretched thin over his face and hair grew on his cheeks and chin in uneven tufts. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind: this was Sirius Black.

Her first instinct was to raise her wand. She had a steady hand when she yelled at him to stay back. He stopped moving and held his hands up. ‘Are you going to attack me?’ he asked with a wicked grin. He was completely mad.

‘I might. If you do anything,’ she said with enough confidence. He gave her another questioning look. ‘Seriously, who are you? I expected some people but not…well whoever you are.’

‘I’m Alicia Doreen, and you are Sirius Black. The escapee the dementors are looking for,’ she said. A part of her mind wondered where she got the courage from.

‘Well Miss Doreen, then you know I can’t let you walk away and tell anyone that you saw me,’ he replied darkly. She tilted her head to the side and let her raised hand drop. ‘Are you going to kill me?’

He seemed surprised by her calm tone. ‘Well…I don’t want to.’

‘But you are a murderer.’

‘So they say.’

‘So they’re wrong?’

He took a sharp intake of breath. ‘Does it matter to you? I already threatened you. You can’t talk your way out of this Missy.’

Alicia shrugged. ‘I think I can.’

Without warning he jumped forward and grabbed her upper arms to pin them to her sides. In her shock she dropped her wand. He got right in her face and she could smell all the unpleasant places he had been. She wrinkled her nose and tried to turn her face away.

‘Don’t taunt me! I came here with an important mission and you will not stand in the way!’ He spitted. Alicia’s heart was thumping rapidly in her chest. All the hairs on her body were raised and she kept swallowing away the chunk in her throat. But despite all of that, she still had a chance. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe there was still a man behind this monster. He had said he didn’t want to kill her.

‘I have a job to do too. Let me do that and then we can discuss what you are going to do to me. But I have to do this first. It’s important. People could die otherwise,’ she said as she looked him in the eye. It took every bit of bravery in her to say this.

She saw his expression change from angry to surprised. His hold on her loosened and she brushed his hands away. ‘Thank you,’ she said before picking up her wand. She strode over to the door and held it up.

_‘Protego maxima. Fianto Duri. Repello Inimicum.’_

‘What are you _doing?_ ’

‘Shush. I’m concentrating.’

It was hard to perform the protection spells and prepare her next move towards Black. At some point she was going to stop and she had to think of what was best. She hoped that even if he was a Death Eater, he still cared about Remus. Maybe that could be enough to get herself out of here.

After ten minutes of repeating the protection spells around the room she was satisfied. She turned away from the window and faced Black once more. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching her with a stunned expression. Alicia tried to supress the overwhelming fear she felt.

‘You turned your back on me. I could have killed you easily,’ he said with a hoarse voice.

She shrugged. ‘But you didn’t.’

‘No. Why did you protect the room?’

‘I’m asking the questions here. I could easily run out of this place and tell everyone where you are. I could even kill you right now. You might be strong but I’m good with spells. I am actually fighting the part of my head that wants you dead.’

Sirius made a low rumbling sound. After a moment she realised he was laughing. ‘Well why are you fighting that part then?’

She sighed. Her breath came out unsteady. ‘Because of a friend. I am going to ask you questions because he would want me too. Tell me the truth. Did you betray James and Lily Potter to Lord Voldemort?’

He was very still. She was trembling all over.

‘No.’

She exhaled after what felt like forever.

‘Did you kill those muggles?’

‘No.’

‘So you are not responsible for the crimes that you got charged with? It was a mistake?’

‘It was a set up! Someone framed me. He did all of it, not me!’

Alicia dared to step closer to him. She could see his features better now. Somehow, he seemed less intimidating then he did earlier. ‘Who did?’

‘You wouldn’t know him.’

‘Try me.’

‘Peter Pettigrew,’ he said with so much venom in his voice that she thought he would spit acid. She gasped loudly and he looked up at her face. ‘Your friend? Wormtail? He is the one who did it? But he died!’

If Sirius looked surprised before, he was beyond himself with shock now. ‘Y-you know him? His nickname even? How!’

‘I know everything I need to know. Sirius Black I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here. One more time, are you telling me the truth? Are you actually innocent?’

She was still holding her wand tightly in one hand. It felt so unnatural what she was doing. She thought of her friends; Michelle, Sophia, Elena, Harry, Ron Hermione…they would all have taken their chance to capture him and drag him out to the castle. It was because of this one person, who still believed he might be innocent, that she was doing this. After all, this person was the most important person to her right now.

Sirius seemed calm when he responded. ‘I’m telling the truth. I’m innocent. I would never betray my best friend.’ His voice broke off in a whisper towards the end. In that moment she decided to believe him. Still she remained careful.

‘Okay Sirius. I’m believing you,’ she told him. She tried to smile at him.

‘You really are crazy, aren’t you?’ he said with what sounded like a joking attitude. She chuckled softly. ‘Maybe a little. But all the best people are, I always say.’

She sat down on the bed next to him and turned to face him. ‘This isn’t easy for me. I’ve been wondering for a while now what I would do if I ran into you. In the beginning I would have dragged your stunned ass to the dementors. But then someone told me about the Marauders. The stories about their time at Hogwarts. The stupid nicknames you came up with. I don’t think I believed him straight away when he suspected something was wrong about the story how you got arrested. But now…well I had to try.’

He looked thoughtful. ‘Some person that was. I can tell you I’m innocent but I can’t prove it to you. Not yet anyway.’

She frowned. ‘Prove? Is that why you came to Hogwarts, even though it’s crowded with dementors?’

His eyes were moving all over the place. ‘I’m here because of Peter. I know he is in the castle. I am here to kill him.’

Alicia’s eyes bulged. ‘Peter is here? But we would have noticed…’ she concentrated for a moment and then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She stared back at Sirius. ‘He is a rat! That is how he is hiding, right?’

Sirius just nodded.

‘So you are not here to hurt Harry?’ she asked next.

Sirius became uneasy. He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I don’t know what to do with James’ son. I have been following him for a while and I think he sees me as a Grim, a bad omen. I didn’t mean to frighten him but…I just wish I could talk to him. Explain everything. I am still…his godfather.’

Alicia nodded and sighed. ‘Well that is actually a big relief. Part of me thought you were still here to kill Harry, the other thought you were here for Moony.’

Sirius looked astounded. His eyes were big and fixed on the younger witch. ‘Moony? Remus is here? I didn’t-,’ he stopped as tears welled in his eyes. He closed them firmly and shook his head. ‘Moony is alive. Moony is here. I can’t believe it.’

Alicia pitied him. She extended a hand towards him slowly. He looked at her hand like it was an animal that would bite him. Carefully she placed it on his shoulder. He flinched at the touch. Clearly it had been a while since he was touched. ‘Yes. Moony is here. He is a teacher now. He is the one who told me everything. And a part of him is still ready to believe that you are innocent. If you tell him what you told me, I’m sure he will believe you.’

‘A teacher? Ha! I can actually see that happening. Tell me, is he strict or does he joke around?’

His sudden happy outburst startled her a bit, but she liked this better than the grim figure. ‘A bit of both, but definitely still a joker.’

‘That’s the Moony I…’ he looked back at her. ‘He is your teacher?’

‘Yes. I’m a seventh year Ravenclaw.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘And does he tell all the seventh years about his nickname and his acquaintance with a wanted criminal?’

Alicia felt herself blush. ‘Uhm no. Just me.’

Sirius reached out to grab a strand of her blonde hair. He carefully ran his dirty fingers through it as if to examine her hair. She tried not to flinch. ‘And what makes you special?’

She felt her cheeks burn and was unable to meet his eye. ‘Uhm…well…’

Sirius stared at her odd behaviour and figured it out for himself. He made such an unexpected sound that she jumped back. He was laughing again, but he seemed alienated to it. It came out as a hoarse rush of wind. But he was also clapping his hands together and rolling on his back in the bed.

‘That dirty old dog! He is shagging his student! Ha ha! Now _that_ is the Moony I remember! I am so proud of him!’

Alicia sighed but was still blushing. ‘Alright that’s enough.’

He sat up very suddenly and pointed a finger in her face. ‘You should watch your tone with me girl. I’m still dangerous.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘If you are still like the Sirius from the past, then Remus described you as charming, egocentric and having a tough act but being a softie inside. It was hard to believe at first but now I’m starting to see it.’

He looked annoyed and amused at the same time. ‘Damn it Moony.’

They both laughed for a moment, and Alicia started to relax more. She realised how cold it was in here. Alicia stood up to get some leftover candle stumps from around the room and lit them in between them. She let them float around to create a warm area around the two. Then she sat down, legs crossed. 

‘So, if you don’t mind…would you tell me your story?’ she asked.

Sirius blinked. ‘You don’t have anywhere to be?’

She chuckled. ‘I never cared about Quidditch much. Some friends will be upset I missed it but I’ll get a recap. And anyway, you are the most interesting person right now.’

He grasped dramatically at his chest. ‘Don’t care about Quidditch? You are a good match for Moony! He often missed our games too. Well, alright then. I might as well tell someone the truth.’

Alicia settled down to listen to a long and painful story.


	13. Price of freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks!  
> Just in case it is unclear: I post a new chapter every monday evening (CET). This story is already finished and I'm currently working on the sequel. So if you like this story, don't worry! There is much more to come ^.^ 
> 
> Leaving comments will get me to squeal in delight.

Neither the golden light of the sunset nor the hunger from not eating anything since breakfast alarmed Alicia of the time. She had been sitting on that dirty bed in various positions for the entire afternoon. Sirius Black was still with her. He was doing most of the talking. She only interrupted to ask questions.

He stopped at some point when he heard her sniff. Alicia had gotten tears in her eyes while she was listening. Everything about his life just seemed so unfair. And not just him, also for James, Lily, Remus and Harry. None of them deserved the pain they had so plentiful in their lives.

Alicia also learned more about the first war against He Who Must Not Be Named than she had done in her seven years of History of Magic. Professor Binns was notorious for boring students to sleep, but now she wondered why history had to be made so dull. Their lives were so vivid, and so close to the people she knew now. The stories about James sounded a lot like Harry. Marlene Mckinnon, who was an old classmate of the Marauders and died in the war, sounded a lot like Michelle. All these similarities made Sirius’ story harder still to listen to.

‘So how do you plan to take Pettigrew?’ she asked after they had both been lost in thought for a while.

Sirius shrugged and stretched his neck. ‘I know who I need to take to get to him, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s going to be tricky, but I will have to act soon. In time they will find me in this place.’

‘Who do you-,’

Alicia stopped mid-sentence. Both of them had heard a sound from downstairs. It were footsteps, shuffling around in the house. Alicia stood quietly and looked out the window.

‘I’m such an idiot! The moon is nearly up!’ Alicia whisper shouted as she grabbed her hair in desperation.

‘I will leave, you can stay. He knows you’re here, right?’ Sirius said quickly as he closed the door to win them some time.

Alicia gave him a guilty look. ‘Actually, I should have been back hours ago. I completely lost track of time. If he sees us here together he will lose his mind. No time to explain before he transforms.’

Sirius nodded. ‘Alright. Only one option then.’ He strode up to the girl and slipped his thin hand in her pocket. She was about to protest about violation when she felt her wand leave her pocket. He gave a cheeky wink before aiming at the boarded up window and yelling ‘ _Bombarda!’_

The boards flew out, leaving enough space for a person to fit through. Only problem was they were on the second floor. Sirius made a quick bow. ‘After you Missy.’ First she wanted to ask him how she wasn’t going to break a leg, then she got distracted by the sound of the doorknob being turned.

‘Is someone in here?’ a familiar voice asked.

‘Now!’ Sirius whisper shouted.

She sighed in frustration but made the leap out the side of the building. She could see the ground coming up on her and remembered that landing on her feet and bending through her knees was the safest way to land. Just as she was about to hit the ground, a dark shape caught up on her and her impact was softened by its body. She looked down at the big black dog, who had her wand in its mouth. She took it and fixed the boarding on the window, so Remus wouldn’t look straight down.

‘Go!’ she shouted to dog-Sirius. Both of them started running in the direction of the forest. It was a clear night and the moon- and starlight was illuminating everything brightly. That was why she worried most, because someone might have heard the blast and looked out to see a person and a dog running to the shadows. When they were a safe distance in the forest Alicia stopped and looked back.

‘I don’t think….anyone saw us,’ she panted. Alicia clutched her side as she felt a stitch. She also suddenly felt how hungry and parched she was. ‘Damn. I have disappeared for a day. I must have greatly worried a bunch of people.’

When she looked around Sirius was a man again. In the contrasting moonlight he looked even more like a skeleton. ‘You need a good cover story. Even for Remus.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘Why? Can’t I just bring the news to him? Wouldn’t it be easier that way?’

He shook his head. ‘You said it yourself. Remus will lose his mind if he knew you were together with a dangerous man all day. He is very protective of the ones he loves.’

A warm feeling spread through her chest. _Could that be? That he loved her?_ ‘Okay, first: you are not dangerous. That is the point. Second, I think you have another reason. Are you scared to face him?’

Sirius looked down. ‘No... Maybe. I did think that _he_ was the spy. I still feel ashamed of it.’

She walked up to him to place her hands on his shoulders. She could hardly feel flesh, mostly the sharp shapes of his bones. ‘It’s okay Sirius. I’m sure he will forgive you. It is just the timing that is important now.’

‘Exactly,’ Sirius said back, holding one of her hands in his. ‘And when the time comes, you cannot interfere. I’m sorry, but this is not your story. It’s between the Marauders and Harry.’

He looked solemn. He tried to convince her of his point, but Alicia had no intention of standing in the way. ‘Of course. Don’t worry about me. I won’t be in the way.’

He smiled. ‘Now, a pretty girl like you could never be ‘in the way’. I can tell you one thing; Moony is lucky to have you.’

She blushed at that. He kissed the back of her hand and then turned around to leave.

‘Hey Sirius?’

He turned around. ‘Yeah?’

‘You’re not alone anymore. You’ve got me.’

He was too far away to be sure, but she thought she could see him smile. Then his shape changed and a black dog was running into the darkness.

Alicia sighed and tried to clear her mind. She needed a good story. She meandered back towards the castle, so occupied in her mind that she didn’t hear the howls coming from the Shrieking Shack.

* * *

‘WHERE ON THIS EARTH WERE YOU?!’

‘Okay calm down-,’

‘NO. NO NO NO YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN!’

‘Well then by all means, keep hysterically screaming. Professor McGonagall already did that just an hour ago.’

Michelle pinched the bridge of her nose so hard, Alicia was afraid she would break it. She was back in the dormitory with Michelle, Elena and Sophia. The mood in the Ravenclaw tower was sour, because they had lost the match to Gryffindor. But apart from that, a lot of Ravenclaws, other students and teachers had been even more in a bad state because they had been looking for Alicia. She had no idea she left everyone in _such_ a state of unease.

‘Look. I was really worried. Everyone was worried! I had _no idea_ where you were. I had a lot of weird conversations today too. I asked Hermione if she knew where you were, and Harry Potter was there with her. He said he would look and he came back after ten minutes looking white as a sheet. He said: ‘I can’t find her at all! I think she left Hogwarts’. That was weird in itself, but he was worried too. So, I’m going to ask you one more time: where were you?’

Alicia sighed and placed her hands neatly in her lap. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, the other two girls were across from her on Sophia’s bed and Michelle was pacing around between them. But now she had come to a stop. All three girls were looking at her expectantly.

‘I was deep in the Forbidden Forest because I heard a rumour that there was a dragon in there. Bottom line, I couldn’t find the dragon,’ she said calmly.

Elena giggled. ‘Yeah that sounds like you Nessie.’

Michelle’s head became even redder. She took Alicia by her collar and dragged her across the room. The other girls were protesting but they stayed put when Michelle told them to. She pushed Alicia in a corner and got her face very close to her friends’.

‘First I was sure you were with the professor. I tried not to worry the others too much because I thought you would return soon. But just before lunch I saw him walk around, without you. I casually asked if he had seen you since before the match and he told me you had gone your separate way. When I said that you hadn’t returned he started to panic too,’ Michelle told her in a threatening whisper.

Alicia sighed. ‘I wasn’t with him. He was worried too?’

Michelle pretended she hadn’t said anything. ‘But I know you two were talking about something private before the game. Did he ask you to find a bloody dragon? I don’t think so.’

Alicia started to get confused. ‘What are you asking me?’

‘Did he send you on a dangerous mission?’ Michelle asked. Alicia hated how good her friend was at investigation. Now she needed to test her poker-face. ‘No! Why would you think that? You said it yourself, he _doesn’t_ want me in danger!’

‘Then what did you talk about?’ she asked quickly.

Alicia sighed. ‘Okay. Okay. He told me that Damian, the Slytherin boy, was asking around for me. That he had found something interesting and wanted to tell me. But that when he couldn’t find me, he set off on his own. He was worried the boy could get in danger. Of course he wanted to alarm other teachers but I said I could handle it. So I went in. Damian really did hear a rumour about a dragon, but it wasn’t true. Now I’m covering for him so he doesn’t get in trouble. I don’t mind the detention.’

Michelle was accessing her. Her eyes raked over Alicia’s features, trying to see behind the mask. ‘Then why did no one search for Damian?’

Alicia shrugged. ‘Well, I hate to be _that girl_ , but I am a bit more popular. So I’m also easier missed.’ _And it’s bloody annoying. Why do people worry so much about me?_

Michelle started to look convinced by her story. Alicia hoped she would leave it at that. She released her from the wall and took a step backward. She ran her hands through her raven hair and suddenly she looked very tired.

‘I’m sorry to have worried you so. But you know me. I can handle myself,’ Alicia tried on a lighter note.

Michelle shook her head, but a small smile was tugging on her lips. ‘You _think_ you can handle yourself.’ Alicia chuckled. ‘Well maybe that’s true.’ They made eye contact for a moment. Alicia tried to make Michelle smile, and it seemed to work. ‘You’re not off the hook yet. I’m still interrogating that Slytherin boy.’

Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘Poor Damian. He doesn’t know what is coming for him.’

They sat down again and continued their conversation in a friendlier way. As expected, Sophia and Elena bought every piece of bullshit Alicia was selling. They never questioned the possibility she was lying to them. She felt worse because of that. Sometimes these two were too nice for their own good. It made Alicia feel like the bad guy.

Tomorrow was a Sunday. Michelle likes to sleep in on a Sunday. That was good news, because now Alicia had to get to the Slytherin boy before her friend could do so.

* * *

Convincing Damian to lie for her wasn’t hard at all. The boy seemed starstruck when she came knocking on the Slytherin common room door asking for him. She got quite a lot of weird looks, but those didn’t matter too much to her today. It was almost comical, how quickly you could stop caring about rivalry between students, or your reputation in general. She had bigger things to worry about.

At this moment, she was the only living person who knew Sirius Black was innocent. Well, she and Peter Pettigrew, who was around here somewhere in the castle. She hated the idea that the rat could be right behind her at any moment. Oh how she liked to crush the pest. But even if she found the right rat, she couldn’t. If Peter died, there was no evidence of Sirius’ innocence. He needed him alive long enough for Remus and Harry to see him.

And then they could kill him.

Even the thought of killing a man wasn’t that alien to her anymore. Not when he was a coward, backstabber and murderer. If Sirius couldn’t do it, she would. Not that she doubted Sirius could. The rage she felt now was nothing compared to how he had been feeling for twelve years in the most dire place on earth.

After talking to Damian she had a much, much harder task to accomplish. She feared this conversation more than her talk with McGonagall or Michelle, because he knew where she went. And still she couldn’t tell him the truth. It wasn’t good to have three different lies running around. Sooner or later people would find out she had been lying. She just hoped Sirius had caught Peter before that happened.

When she pushed the doors to the Hospital Wing open, Madam Pomfrey gave a little gasp of shock. Apparently the news that she had returned hadn’t reached everyone yet. She fussed over the girl for a while before allowing her to visit ‘her friend’. Reluctantly she passed by the sickbeds. However Remus wasn’t there. A small moment of relief washed over her before she remembered that she was only postponing the moment.

‘Sorry Madam, do you know where Professor Lupin is? He needed to talk to me about my detention. Someone told me he was in here,’ she said casually to Madam Pomfrey. The older witch huffed. ‘He’s gone back to his rooms to rest. You should leave him be for now.’

She nodded quickly and left.

* * *

The door to the classroom was ajar. She knocked.

‘Come in.’

Alicia pushed the door open and stepped inside. Remus Lupin was behind his desk in the classroom, surrounded by paperwork. When he spotted her he froze for a moment.

‘Close the door please, Miss Doreen,’ he said calmly.

She flinched at the formal addressing, but maybe he was afraid someone was in the hallway. She closed the door and walked up to his desk.

‘It’s good to see you,’ he said in a pleasant tone. Alicia looked him over and noticed that he looked worse than usual. ‘You left the Hospital Wing early this time. You look like you could need more rest,’ Alicia said softly.

‘I wanted to be here when you came to me. So our conversation wouldn’t have to be in public,’ he replied. Something about his tone sounded foreboding. ‘So, are you here to tell me where you were, all afternoon and evening?’

Suddenly she felt weak. All the shouting she had endured. All the lies she had told. She couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t lie anymore. Not to him. Tears welled in her eyes but she didn’t allow them to drop.

‘No,’ she whispered.

‘No?’ he asked, putting down his quill and crossing his arms.

‘No I am not here to tell you were I was. Because I can’t tell you the truth and I can’t lie to you. It’s a very difficult position I’m in. I’m so sorry Moony, but I cannot tell you anything. I can tell you I was safe. For the rest you just need to trust me.’ Her voice was shaking and she was sniffing between her words.

Remus didn’t move, he just looked very thoughtful. ‘Is anyone forcing you to keep a secret?’

She shook her head.

‘And you are okay? You weren’t hurt?’ another shake of the head. ‘Then why are you crying?’

Alicia crashed down to her knees. She put her face in her hands. ‘Because I hate not being able to tell you! I don’t want to ask you to trust me blindly. I’m not sure you know me enough to do that. I _wish_ I could tell you everything, but it just has to wait. It will all make sense in time.’

She sobbed quietly for a while. She was wiping away the tears, leaving her sleeves all wet. Then she felt him sit down in front of her. He placed his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest. ‘Alicia, I already trust you blindly. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t in danger. But if you honestly tell me not to worry and trust you, then I will. I heard you already got detention, and I’m sure your friends yelled at you too. So there is no need for me to be angry.’

She looked up at him. She felt like a mess and was sure she looked like one. ‘You mean that?’

He smiled. ‘Yes I do. Now, let’s get you off the floor. Would you like a cup of tea with some chocolate?’

‘Merlin’s beard yes! Remus you are the perfect boyfriend!’ she exclaimed before thinking it over.

‘Alright, not too loud please. But I know I’m amazing,’ he said with a chuckle. He led her into his office and closed the door for privacy. ‘So you think I’m boyfriend material?’ he asked jokingly.

She laughed as she wiped the tears away with a tissue he offered. ‘When I’m out of this school you are _so_ going to be boyfriend material.’ They laughed together and sat down in front of the fireplace. They stayed there together for a while. Drinking tea and talking about everything and nothing. Alicia was starting to get used to just being with him, and it brought her a peace she hadn’t known before. With friends she often felt awkward in silence, but she didn’t have that with Remus.

The clock chimed and told them it was eleven o’clock. Alicia got up from her seat. ‘I should go. I already disappeared one day, might as well keep showing my face today. So people don’t start the hunt again.’

He chuckled. ‘Popularity is a curse.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘It is indeed!’

He was laughing even harder. ‘Oh come on. Don’t complain about having friends. Or admirers. I bet you love all the attention.’ Alicia held her hands out, astonished. ‘Are you serious?’

First he made as if to speak. Then he looked to his left at thin air. Then he exhaled deeply and looked very sad.

‘What were all of those expressions? You okay?’ she asked quickly.

He looked at her shortly before turning his gaze out the window. ‘It’s an inside joke I guess.’

Alicia waited for an explanation but it wasn’t coming. ‘Well I gotta go. See you soon Moony. I miss you every day.’ She kissed him on his forehead and made for the door.

‘I miss you too, Alicia. I’ll send you an owl as soon as I can,’ Remus said.

She left his office and quickly stepped down the steps into the classroom. She was still trying to understand what his ‘inside joke’ was about, and therefore she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings. As she opened the door into the hallway, someone was blocking her path.

‘Miss….Doreen. What a surprise to find you here on a Sunday. Up to something….are we?’

Right then and there she decided she hated every single thing about Professor Snape. His slow way of talking, his stealthy walk that got her in this situation and of course the fact he left Remus to lose his consciousness during the full moon last night. With everything she had in her, she plastered a smile to her face.

‘Professor Snape, good morning yourself. I was just asking Professor Lupin advice on some books about dragons. He had a couple of interesting ideas about them,’ she said quickly and friendly. Luckily they _had_ actually been discussing those books, so she wasn’t even lying. Well, not completely.

‘Ah yes. I heard that one of the Weasleys has offered you a position. I guess it would fit you…remote, dangerous and reckless work. And to no real point actually. It seems…fitting,’ Snape sneered at her.

Alicia could only take so much. ‘I’m not the only reckless one, I think. Where did you go yesterday, professor? Weren’t there any important tasks you missed? Or the Quidditch game, perhaps? How wonderful that Gryffindor won, right?’

He leaned threateningly close to her. ‘You should watch your mouth, girl. You don’t speak with respect.’

 _You don’t deserve respect,_ she thought. She was thinking it so hard it felt like she had said it out loud, but she hadn’t. However, he seemed to be able to read her mind. His gaze became more dangerous.

‘I’ll see you later, Professor Snape,’ she said through gritted teeth. She turned on her heel and walked away.

This was going to be a problem.

* * *

The rest of the Sunday was spent listening to Gryffindors wanting to share tales of their glorious victory, studying with the girls and assuring people that she was okay. It was dreadful, but she reminded herself that it could be way worse. People stopped asking questions. Michelle had interviewed Damian and seemed pleased with what he told her. Before dinner everyone had already moved on.

And so the waiting game began. The N.E.W.T.S. were drawing closer and everyone started to feel tense. Every teacher reminded them of the importance to study early. Even though Alicia wasn’t stressing too much, she knew there was a lot at stake. She really didn’t want another year at school. Not with a job and a man already waiting for her to pass her exams.

The first week was also full of detention hours. McGonagall had not gone easy on her, saying she was afraid the dementors had attacked her. She had gotten a week of detention, serving every day with a different teacher. She only got to know what teacher she would stay with right after dinner, so it was a big surprise. There was a big chance Remus had passed on the opportunity if he could; there would be a lot of risk in it. Another teacher could check up on them at any moment.

And finally, she was waiting for Sirius to make his move. She didn’t know what his plan was to get Peter out of the castle, but she hoped he would do it quickly. Every time she saw Harry there was an impulse to tell him everything. Harry still believed Sirius was the bad guy. He might even be prepared to kill Sirius. It would be so much easier, if she could just tell the truth. But he had asked her not to get in the way, so she wouldn’t. It didn’t make it easier, though.

It was past lunchtime on Thursday when Alicia started to get really uneasy. She had already tried three petty excuses to skip school, but the girls weren’t buying it. Michelle kept asking what was wrong, but there was no way to tell her.

Potions was exactly the hell she had been afraid of. They got back the papers that made up almost a fourth of their final grades. She had closed her eyes when the paper was thrown on her desk and was now slowly opening them. A sigh of relief left her lips.

‘An _Acceptable_? Alicia how is that possible? We did our research together and I got an _Outstanding_. Look, the things that are marked here on yours are correct on mine! This is wrong- auch,’

Michelle stopped talking when Alicia kicked her under the table. She gave her a look that begged her to stop talking, but she could already feel the presence of the teacher behind her.

‘Is anything wrong here?’ Snape asked innocently.

Alicia looked up at him and faked a smile again. ‘Nothing wrong, professor.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Really? I just heard Miss Wright refer to something. No questions at all?...Pity.’

‘Actually I do have a question, if you don’t mind sir. Over here in my paper you marked that essence of Dittany is not correct. However I looked that up in the handbook. Could you explain to me what I did wrong?’ She tried so hard to sound pleasant, but she already knew there was no escape. She was a new target to bully. After the stories Harry had told her, she was really not looking forward to his petty behaviour.

He turned away as he answered, his cape billowing around him. ‘You didn’t specify how much Dittany is needed. Pay better attention next time.’

Michelle was once again on the verge of speaking when Alicia kicked her again. ‘I didn’t specify that either! You can’t just let this injustice happen!’ Michelle whispered. Alicia looked around and saw that Snape was once more looking at the both of them.

‘Don’t give him a reason,’ Alicia whispered back under her breath.

Snape seemed disappointed that they were quiet after that. When the class ended Michelle basically exploded in the hallway. Elena and Sophia were agreeing with everything she said. ‘You can’t just do that! You should go to Flitwick and report this!’

Alicia sighed. ‘No use. It will only make it worse. Look, I passed, and that is enough. I’ll do extra research next time so he won’t be able to get to me again. This time I was unprepared.’

‘But why? Why did he do this, Alicia?’ Elena asked.

‘Because I just became Snape’s new bullying target. That slimy git never grew up past his self-esteem issues,’ Alicia exclaimed irritated.

‘Well, you’re not wrong,’ said a voice behind them.

They had just passed Harry, Ron and Hermione without noticing. Alicia looked at Harry, who gave her a sympathetic smile. ‘I know how it feels. I wish I could say it gets better…’

Alicia walked up to him and hugged him quickly. ‘Harry don’t worry about me. I’ll be out of this school in a couple of months. You are still in it for the long run. But hey, maybe he will be more focused on me now and leave you alone for a bit.’ Harry smiled at her. Harry really did have the kindest eyes. _I wanna tell him._

She shook her head and released the younger boy. ‘Good luck in there,’ she said while pointing back at the dungeons. He sighed. ‘Thanks. I bet it will be brilliant.’

They said their goodbyes and the Ravenclaws continued on their way.

‘But did you do anything to piss him off? Why does he suddenly target you?’ Sophia asked. Alicia shrugged. ‘I saw him in the hallway on Sunday. I was a bit groggy. Maybe I insulted him without thinking. Who knows? Sometimes I think he doesn’t need a reason. He just picks easy targets.’

‘How are you an easy target? You are popular, have a lot of self-esteem and are loved by many teachers,’ Elena brought in. Alicia giggled to herself. ‘Maybe that’s just it. I’m everything he wishes to be! Can you imagine him with my long blonde hair? He would flip it around all day!’

That caused a round of uncontrollable laughter from all four of them. Alicia felt happy she could still have those silly moments with her friends. She was going to miss those one day.

* * *

If Alicia thought the day couldn’t get any worse, she was wrong. Right after dinner Michelle and Elena, who were sitting opposite Alicia and Sophia at the Ravenclaw table, were looking up over her head with similar looks of shock and horror.

 _I guess I know who my teacher for tonight is_. Alicia sighed and got up before Snape could say anything.

Later, much later that evening she shuffled back into the Ravenclaw common room. The three girls watched Alicia carefully. Her hair was a mess, her hands looked rough and dirty and her sleeves were stained. She also had huge dark circles under her eyes and walked like her feet were hurting.

‘Merlin’s beard! What did he do to you?’ Sophia gasped. ‘Are you okay Nessie?’

Alicia fell down on the couch between two of her friends. Her head rolled back on the seat and she closed her eyes. ‘He made me clean _all_ the cauldrons he could find. I think I did thirty, or thirty-five. I lost count after my nails were broken and my index finger started bleeding. He fixed the wound up quickly but just so I could continue. Severus Snape is a bloody demon.’

The rest of the evening they spoiled her as much as they could. After a hot shower she was rolled up in a blanket in front of the fire, with hot cocoa and a biscuit. Elena fuzzed over her nails, making sure they looked a bit less rough and Michelle combed through her long hair.

‘You guys are the best a woman could wish for.’

‘We know.’


	14. The Marauders map

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's beard! I got so many comments since last week! You guys are the nicest bunch I know <3 your words mean a lot to me, so thank you all. As a reward I'm posting the new chapter a bit earlier than usual! Enjoy this...naughty chapter.

Friday started better. Over breakfast there was a good vibe between the four friends. They seemed to have forgiven Alicia for disappearing and they were constantly laughing over everything and nothing. Sophia told them all about her relationship with Jared and the others teased her about it. Apparently Sophia had been ‘deflowered’ last weekend. The girl talk became very personal. It was easy for Alicia to be herself, because her friends knew she wasn’t a virgin anymore. They had known that her second boyfriend, the Hufflepuff in sixth year, had been her first. There was no stress for her they would ask about her recent activities.

They ran into Fred and George on the way to Charms. Fred was still disappointed Alicia had missed his grand victory in the Quidditch pitch, but he had also been worried when she was missing. So for now he just seemed happy that she was okay.

‘You really aren’t interested in Fred are you?’ Elena asked later on when they were sitting in Professor Flitwick his classroom. Alicia shook her head. ‘He is nice and funny, but I’m not feeling a connection. I hope he will understand that one day. I feel terrible for hurting people’s feelings.’

Elena nodded and then the class started. Alicia felt good to be understood by her friend, rather than the endless teasing they had been doing so far. And maybe Elena wasn’t the only one. After valentine’s day it got a lot quieter for her. No more date proposals, no more puppy-eyed followers. Maybe more people in the school started to understand that Alicia wasn’t interested. Her life felt so full already; a job waiting for her in another country she had never been to, friends that she felt close too, the pressure of the exams and of course her werewolf boyfriend who is also her teacher. There was simply no room left for a dozen or so lovers.

Alicia slipped in a calmer state of mind as she noticed that for the entire day she wasn’t bothered by those things. She really hoped things would be better, easier. Wouldn’t it be great if she could simply have her relationship with Remus without anyone finding out?

Only when they sat down for dinner in the Great Hall did an uneasy feeling rise again. It was because she was watching Professor Snape talk to a Slytherin student across the hall. Just the sight of him gave her shivers now. The cauldron cleaning in itself was already bad, but what made it unbearable was that he stayed with her and watched her work. She knew he had felt powerful, that he had put her back in place. After the stories she had heard from Remus she realised he had always been anti-social and easy to bully those he thought were beneath him. But maybe she needed to be more careful around him. He could make the rest of her time here a living hell.

He looked up and stared directly at her from across the hall. She was startled and tried to look away, but every time she glanced back he was still staring. The corners of his mouth were twisted up in a wicked smile. It felt as if a rock dropped in her stomach.

‘Do you think Snape could give me detention tonight as well?’ Alicia whispered to her friends, forcing herself to look away. The others hadn’t followed her train of thought and were looking perplexed and scared.

‘You’ve had a different teacher every night right? It shouldn’t be right to get two nights with Snape!’ Sophia exclaimed. Alicia shook her head slightly, trying not to start crying. ‘I’m sure he could arrange it. He was way too happy yesterday.’

She dared one more glance at Snape, who wasn’t looking at her anymore. He had a pained expression on his face, agitated and angry. Then he turned and walked away. Alicia was just wondering what he had been looking at, when Michelle spoke up. ‘I don’t think you have to worry about that,’ she said with an amused smile. She was looking to Alicia’s right, and she followed her line of sight.

A very cheerful looking Professor Lupin came walking down between the tables. He was greeted multiple times by students and he happily greeted them back. He looked ahead and noticed Alicia, and then he gave her a brilliant smile. Her heartbeat quickened.

‘Good evening ladies,’ he greeted the four friends. They greeted him back, Michelle in particular made sure to sound very happy to see him. Then he turned to Alicia. ‘Miss Doreen. I believe today is your last day of detention. Will you accompany me to my office?’

She looked at Michelle, who was positively beaming. ‘Of course professor.’ She tried not to sound too happy about detention, but everyone knew she would rather spend it with him than with Snape. Every student that wasn’t a Slytherin probably would.

She packed her bag and followed Remus out of the hall. No one was looking up, because Alicia had been following teachers on the way out of the hall for this entire week. They passed by Harry, Ron and Hermione and Remus greeted them too. Harry was eager to greet him back, and then noticed Alicia.

‘Still on detention?’ he asked her. She shrugged. ‘Last day.’ Harry nodded and they continued walking.

Once they were outside the Great Hall Alicia felt her spirits rise. Thinking you would spend the evening with Snape and then finding out it’s Remus was the best news she had gotten all week. Well, apart from Sirius Black not being a killer. There was a light spring in her step as she allowed herself to stare at Remus’ ass while they were walking. Only when they had to stand still on a moving staircase did he turn around and notice it.

‘Are you staring at me?’ he asked with raised eyebrows. She couldn’t help the cheeky grin. ‘Just one of the finest parts of you.’ He cleared his throat in his unease and waited impatiently for the stairs to settle. He tried very hard not to laugh.

When they arrived in the classroom she noticed that a single desk was pushed to the side of his desk. ‘Alright now you will sit down over there and do some homework. I want you to be working on school work, no recreational studies. You have two hours and then you can go. Sounds fair?’ he told her in his stern voice. She sat down in the chair and took out her books. ‘Yes professor.’

And for a while that is actually what she did. She started on Transfiguration and then continued on Defence Against the Dark Arts. It was all going very well and she had almost forgotten who she was in the room with, until she accidentally touched his leg with her foot.

‘Sorry,’ she exclaimed startled. He just seemed to have stiffened. ‘It’s okay.’ Alicia looked him over and saw a pained expression on his face. ‘Everything alright?’ she asked him carefully. He glanced at her and smiled. ‘Just fine, thank you.’

He didn’t seem fine. ‘You’re not…sick are you?’ He laughed. ‘Is that what I look like? Sick?’ Alicia was at a loss of words. ‘Well…I don’t know. You won’t tell me.’ He shook his head and picked up a paper. ‘Nothing is wrong. Please just continue your work.’

Of course that didn’t satisfy her. From that moment on she was distracted, because she was afraid he was in some form of pain. He didn’t seem to be in pain but just…uncomfortable. He was fidgeting with the paper in his hands and tapping his foot. Then he tried to pick up a quill but it fell to the ground and rolled under the desk.

‘I’ll get it,’ Alicia offered. She got out of her seat and went on hands and knees under the table. The quill had rolled pretty far so she had to stretch quite a bit. Just as she got hold of the item she heard Remus breathe out unsteadily. Her eyes opened wide as she understood. He wasn’t in pain. He was simply way less professional about their detention date than she was. And he was staring at her ass right now.

She emerged from under the desk with a slight blush to her cheeks. She noticed he had taken off his cape and was now just wearing a button-down shirt and a tie. He readjusted the tie as if he had trouble breathing as he watched her pop out from under the desk. She held up the quill.

‘Here you go professor,’ she said softly. He cleared his throat and got the quill. ‘Thanks.’ She stood back up and sat down at her desk. Well, there was no way she was simply going back to her work now. She fanned her face. ‘Getting a bit hot in here right?’ she stated and took off her Ravenclaw robe and sweater. He watched her intently. She winked at him.

‘Why are you doing this to me?’ he whispered desperately. She giggled. ‘Doing what?’ She winked again and unbuttoned some buttons from the top of her shirt. ‘Anyway, homework,’ she stated as she leaned forward on the table so he would have a good view.

He groaned and looked the other way. ‘You can get in the same amount of trouble as me, you know.’

‘What on earth are you talking about professor?’

It was fun to play the innocent student, because she knew it was turning him on even more. Now she was imagining what he would look like when he snapped and suddenly pulled her out of her chair. She was driving herself mad with it. To make it worse she found his leg with her foot and started stroking him.

It took him a couple of seconds to decide, but then he pulled a piece of paper from the stack of papers on his desk and unfolded it. It was completely blank. He got out his wand and pointed at it as he said: ‘ _I solemnly swear I am up to no good.’_

‘Hey there is that phrase again! What does it mean?’ she asked.

He stared at the paper for a moment. ‘There is no one around. But I figure we don’t have much time.’

‘Time for wha-,’ She didn’t have time to finish that sentence as he did exactly what she was just daydreaming about: he pulled her out of her seat and placed her between himself and his desk. He pushed his hips into hers and she felt how badly he wanted her. His hands went into her hair and pulled her face to his as he crushed his lips to hers. She gasped in surprise and was soon lost in the passionate kiss. He forced his tongue in next and explored her mouth. His breathing was speeding up and he made little groaning noises.

She was still so busy with the kiss that his hand on her ass was a complete surprise. He cupped her ass and squeezed hard. She gasped and looked him in the eye for a moment between their kisses. He looked so wild and hungry. It was everything she could dream of.

‘This is quite the risk Moony. People could walk in,’ Alicia said to him. Remus didn’t seem too worried. ‘I’ll keep an eye out. But I agree that we shouldn’t take too long.’ He had hardly finished his sentence when he hooked his thumbs around her knickers and pulled them down. Then she felt his fingers on her vagina, rubbing and stroking.

‘No time to waste,’ Alicia whispered while her eyes rolled back in their sockets. Remus pushed two fingers inside her and started pumping them in and out. Alicia felt herself get wet. She hummed pleased.

His fingers were gone again and she opened her eyes to see what he was doing. He was undoing the button of his trousers and taking out his hard cock. She leaned forward to grab him, and noticed indeed that he was very hard and ready. Her thumb stroked over the tip and she felt wetness coming out. She rubbed it over the head to work as a lube. He groaned in her ear as he was biting it.

‘I want you, now,’ he growled. Alicia gasped and kissed his neck. ‘Then take me.’

In a swift movement he had placed her on the desk and he stood between her legs, ready to enter. He looked her in the eye to see her reaction as he was entering her. Her breathing became ragged but she kept looking at him when he finally got in fully. His first movements were slow and deep but soon enough he picked up the pace and started fucking her properly. Alicia placed her hands on the desk behind her and relished in the pleasure of having his cock inside of her. They both tried not to pant too loud, half their minds still on the possibility of someone walking in. The thought only enticed both of them. They were being so risky, but it felt amazing.

After a moment of some good thrusts Alicia leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His hands were on her hips to keep her in place as he kept pounding in her. Little sounds and dirty words left their mouths. Alicia started rocking her hips to his pace to increase the friction.

‘Remus you feel so good,’ She whispered in his ear. Then she licked it and bit down on his earlobe. A little growl came from him. ‘Still safe,’ he murmured as he looked down at the map. Alicia tried to twist her torso so she could see the mysterious map, but then he pulled his cock out of her. She was about to protest when he gripped her hips and turned her around. She was now facing the desk. Alicia smiled, knowing what was coming. He placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her forward. She leaned forward and soon felt Remus rub his cock against her vagina. When he hit her clit a wave of warm pleasure shot through her body. She moaned loudly, he hushed her a bit. But he kept doing it, and it drove her insane.

Next thing she knew he had pushed in and was fucking her again. She was positively _loving_ this. Is there any better fantasy than getting fucked by a teacher over his desk? She looked out at the empty seats and imagined for a moment her entire class watching them. She got a kick out of that.

‘Do you like this my dear Nessie?’ he asked in a rasped voice. His fingers were digging deep in the skin on her ass and hips. ‘Remus I fucking love it please keep fucking me like this. I feel like I’m gonna come soon.’ She heard a deep chuckle from behind her and then his pace quickened. He thrusted in her faster and faster. One hand went into her hair and pulled her head back a little.

‘You turn me on even when you don’t try Nessie. It’s getting harder and harder to be around you. I wish I could fuck you every day,’ Remus told her. She panted heavily. ‘I wish we could too, Remus. Ahh…can you…spank me?’ She didn’t need to tell him twice. He slapped her ass and all the pleasures started to mix and mount to one gigantic feeling…

It seemed that Remus could feel it too. He breathed faster, his thrusting became more erratic and deep and he held one hand tightly to her ass. The other was still slapping her from time to time. ‘Nessie, I-,’ he said right when she felt his cock twitch inside her and a warm wetness was spreading within her. The feeling was so wonderful that she came too. They both silently screamed out their orgasms, waiting for the feeling to wash away.

As she was regaining her breath, she finally had a good look at the parchment that was on the desk. On it was a map, and in the DADA classroom she could see two pairs of footsteps. Above the feet were two names floating in a framework; hers and Remus’. The feet were standing exactly as they were standing, very close behind the other. Remus moved out of her and walked over to where his wand was to clean himself up and get dressed. She noticed that the Remus on the map was also moving, in sync with the real one.

‘Bloody hell Remus! This map is ingenious…and scary. I’m happy you have it. If someone else was watching this…’ Her fingers trailed over the map. She found the Gryffindor tower and saw a lot of names in the common room. ‘Is everyone on this thing?’

‘Yes. The map sees everyone. We didn’t need to know everybody’s names, the map finds out itself,’ he told her from a little distance. ‘We made that when we were students here, the Marauders did. I recently found it back in the hands of a student.’

‘Harry,’ Alicia said immediately. She recalled him saying the password and knowing straight away that she was behind the statue. She just hoped he hadn’t checked her later as well…when she was in here with Remus. Her eyes searched for Harry’s name and found him in his dormitory.

‘No such thing as privacy with this thing. I can only imagine the pranks you guys pulled off because of this,’ Alicia said while studying the map. Remus smiled. ‘It’s dangerous, the knowledge you get from that map. I didn’t mean to use it anymore but just now it came in quite handy.’

Alicia blushed and realised she was still not wearing underwear. She cleaned herself up and slipped the knickers back on. Remus sat down on his chair and pulled the map up. She decided to sit sideways on his lap and look with him. Another thought rose to the surface.

‘Can you see the Shrieking Shack too? Can people see you…you know…turn?’ she asked carefully. Remus chuckled. ‘Are you asking whether my dot changes to ‘wolf-boy’? Believe me, James and Sirius would have loved to do that. But no, the Shack is not on the map. It is only Hogwarts and the grounds. Hogsmeade is too far away.’

‘I bet they changed it to wolf-boy at some point,’ Alicia joked. They laughed together and shared a sweet kiss. Remus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. ‘I meant what I said. I wish we could do this every day. The kissing, the sex but also just this. Sitting together without having to worry who sees.’

Alicia nodded and kissed his forehead. ‘Yeah, that would be great. But hey, the exams are only a couple of weeks away. Soon you will be mine. And I don’t care who knows. It will be you and me.’ _And Sirius. Maybe._

He traced a finger over her cheekbone. ‘I’d like that.’

They studied the map for a moment longer before Remus sighed. ‘Well, I think your detention is over. I hope I could make it a little better, I feel responsible for all of it. I heard Snape tell proudly how much he made you do yesterday. He was actually discussing with McGonagall to get you today as well. I quickly stepped in, saying it was only fair you got to do other things than cleaning. Obviously he didn’t like that.’

‘I guess he hates me now. Way to go right? He is a petty man,’ Alicia said annoyed.

‘Same old Snivellus,’ Remus said with a vacant expression. Alicia chuckled. ‘Snivellus? That is what you called him?’ Remus smiled but pointed a finger in her direction. ‘If you ever say that to him, we are both screwed. You get that right?’

They laughed a little before Alicia reluctantly got off his lap and gathered her things. ‘Oh I thought you should know; Charlie helped to find a place for Sarah, the Occamy. There is a magizoölist in Hogsmeade this weekend. Hagrid and I will take her to him and then she will go to India, where she belongs. You could come, if you like.’

He nodded and placed his hands on the desk. ‘I’ll think on it. Figured I should pay Hagrid a visit anyway. Haven’t seen him in a while.’

‘Alright. Well, have a nice evening,’ she made a deep theatrical bow, ‘Professor wolf-boy.’

‘Goodnight Miss Nessie. Straight to bed with you now. Any detours and I’ll know,’ he winked and pointed down at the map.

‘Stalker,’ she called after her when she walked out the door.


	15. N.E.W.T.S.

The crisp days of winter were over and the spring started to settle in. There were a lot of lovely days in which students wished they could go outside, but were forced to study for the exams. They would start next week and most people were very stressed.

Alicia however was constantly juggling subjects in her mind. This Friday afternoon as the usual study group was sitting in the library, Alicia couldn’t stop thinking about Sirius Black. Was he staying in that house the entire time? Did he go out as a dog and run around Hogsmeade? Did he even have food? If he found Peter, shouldn’t he need a wand? Those thoughts were troubling her badly. After her time spend with the wanted criminal she couldn’t help but pity him. His life was flushed down the toilet even though he did nothing wrong.

‘Hey guys,’ Alicia was thinking out loud, ‘If you could help a friend in need, but it was potentially dangerous, would you still do it?’

Elena looked up. ‘Depends on how dangerous I guess. And what friend. Is it worth it?’

Alicia nodded slowly. ‘I could really make a difference.’

The other girl shrugged. ‘Well if this is a good friend I would say go for it. As long as you don’t get in mortal danger.’

‘But she probably will,’ Michelle wisecracked. She wasn’t even looking up from the writing she was doing, but there was a coy smile on her lips.

‘I’ll be fine. It’s just a bit of…traveling.’

‘Are you going in the Forbidden Forest again?’ Michelle asked, still not looking up. Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve been going into the forest since I was twelve. Why is everyone suddenly so itchy about it? I hardly think _I’m_ a target for Black. And anyway, I could always ask the centaurs to protect me. They like me.’

‘I’m not saying you shouldn’t,’ Michelle replied as she finally looked up, ‘it’s actually nice to get a heads-up about your whereabouts. Go, help your friend. It seems important to you.’

Alicia blinked, astonished. ‘Did not expect that. Alright, after I go to Hogsmeade with you girls and finish that business with Sarah, I will go my own way. If I’m not back by dinnertime you can sound the alarm. Deal?’

Michelle smiled. ‘Deal.’

There was a mutual understanding between the two, and it felt good to have settled their argument from earlier. Alicia really had to include her friends more. Well, not by telling them she was going to buy Sirius Black a wand, but she would at least inform them she would disappear.

It was something.

* * *

It had been at least a week since she saw Hagrid last, and she immediately felt bad for not visiting sooner. He had gotten the terrible news that Buckbeak the hippogriff needed to be executed, and that the minister himself would come to attend. When she saw the half-giant on the main street of Hogsmeade she ran up to him and hugged as much of his body as she could.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier! I really am! It was a hectic week, I had catching up to do after all the time I lost in detention. If only all the teachers gave me time to study…how are you?’ she rambled.

Hagrid tried very hard to stifle his sniffing. ‘Better. I’m doing better. But it will be worse on the day they…’

She took his hand between hers. ‘I know. I’m so sorry. But I also studied the Committee before, I knew they wouldn’t budge…Hagrid can’t you set him free?’ He shook his head. ‘There is nothing to be done. Dumbledore will take the blame for it if I did, and he doesn’t deserve that. Anyway, it was good to arrange that meeting today for little Sarah. Keeps my mind off things.’

Alicia nodded. Hagrid showed the cage he had brought. Sarah the Occamy lay curled up inside, content with her current space. Alicia tried to ask some more questions about the date of the execution and who would be there, but she saw that it pained him to talk about it. So she stopped and told him instead about the many letters the magizoölist had sent to assure them he would take good care of Sarah. It seemed to work.

The meeting took place in the Three Broomsticks, where they met up with a skinny man with a mop of dark brown hair and a styled beard. He dressed eccentric, as many people noticed in the pub, but he didn’t seem to mind the stares. It actually felt good to have someone so expressive and friendly, it sparked Alicia’s confidence he was a good man for the job.

They took some time looking at and discussing Sarah. He asked a lot of questions and dotted everything down. Alicia had read up on the creatures after she had found Sarah and could answer everything he wanted to know.

‘You are a bright witch, you are. If you are still looking for a job after school…I could use a partner as clever as you,’ he offered. Alicia blushed slightly at his offer but told him the offer she already had. He seemed impressed by it, but offered his contact details anyway might she change her mind. It was a good confidence boost.

When he left with Sarah both Alicia and Hagrid had a hard time saying goodbye. Alicia bought them butterbeers and made sure to keep talking happy stuff with Hagrid. He also seemed to trust the man, and so they were confident Sarah would be fine.

Alicia announced she had another appointment and Hagrid made sure she didn’t feel bad about leaving. ‘Go, I’ll be fine,’ he told her. ‘Thank you for everything Alicia. You always know how to cheer me up.’

She patted his shoulder. ‘I’ll visit you before it happens. I’ll be there, promise.’ She was about to walk out, when a familiar figure walked into the pub. She straight away had an idea.

‘Hello professor,’ she said as he hung his coat by the door.

‘Hello again Alicia. How is your day so far?’ Remus asked pleasantly.

‘It’s been good, but I feel bad about leaving Hagrid. He is in a depressed state because of Buckbeak. You said you wanted to catch up with him…’ she tried carefully. He held up his hand. ‘You need to say no more. But you aren’t staying?’ It pained her, but if she stayed longer she might not leave at all. ‘No sorry. Also don’t tell Hagrid I asked you to talk to him. He will feel like a pity case.’

He nodded. ‘Understood.’

‘Great! I’ll see you later then. At the N.E.W.T.S. probably,’ she said with a pained voice.

‘I hope you are prepared. But in all fairness, I think you are,’ he assured her. She smiled at him and left him with Hagrid.

First she went to an old pawn shop in a side alley that students usually didn’t visit. She tried out a couple of second hand wands and picked a black square-ish wand with a unicorn hair core and some form of runes edged into the sides. It responded well to her touch and also seemed capable of great power.

After she got the wand she went shopping for food and some medical supplies. Everything was stuffed in a basket she carried on her arm. Once she was in a back alley, she used a disillusionment charm and practically disappeared. It was a short walk across a grassy hill towards the Shack. It was standing completely apart from anything else. She could see a tiny graveyard on one side, with three crosses sticking out of the ground.

The only problem she found when she examined the house, is that the door was completely sealed off. Literally, someone had put a brick wall where the door opening should be. The windows were boarded up too. The only open spot was a hole in the roof. Deciding that was her best option, she tore a patch of grass and dirt around her open with magic and forced it to levitate. Her makeshift elevator brought her to the opening in the roof, where she jumped in and landed badly on her ankle.

‘Damn! That was a bigger jump then I thought,’ she exclaimed, chagrined with herself. As she rubbed her ankle she heard a growl coming from the stairs. On the landing below her stood a big black dog. He was growling like he was ready to jump on her.

Alicia placed her hands on her hips. ‘Now, is that any way to greet a visitor?’

The dog stopped growling, licked his mouth and slowly turned into the shape of a man. ‘Why did you come back? If anyone saw you-,’

Alicia stepped down with a sigh. ‘Oh yes I skipped all the way over here singing _I’m going to Sirius Black_ in a high pitched voice. Brought my buddies the dementors too.’ She had passed him in the hallway and didn’t see his amused expression. ‘Come on, I come bearing gifts.’

‘My favourite kind of visitor,’ Sirius joked as he followed her. Alicia stepped into the bedroom and fixed two broken chairs and a table. She set them up in a corner and placed her basket on top. ‘So, when is the last time you ate?’

He shrugged. ‘I hunt to eat. It’s not much but I survived on less.’

‘So I guess you don’t want this, then?’ She removed the upper cloth to reveal a freshly baked apple pie. ‘Just got this home-made pie from the bakery. Interested?’

He positively started drooling at the sight of the pie. ‘Please,’ he whimpered. She smiled and gave him the pie. There was no need for cutlery, he dived in like a starved man. Alicia waited patiently as he worked away the pie at an incredible speed.

‘I also brought a water bottle with a refilling charm, canned food and some fresh fruit. I also have this,’ she took out a small cooking pan, ‘I don’t know if you want to cook some of the food, that is up to you. But here you go.’

Sirius looked astounded. ‘Thank you. I was having some problems with finding fresh water. All of it, actually.’

‘I wasn’t finished yet, you can thank me at the end. I also brought you these.’ Next came out some jars and flasks. ‘Potions and ointments to heal your wounds. I noticed last time your skin is torn and chafed and you have bitemarks. Of course this won’t help any serious infections or illness, but at least you can give your skin a bit of a rest. The potion is a painkiller.’

There was a row of items on the table now. Sirius’ hands were still dirty with pie, but he had stopped eating to watch everything that came out of the basket. ‘How can I ever-,’

She stopped him. ‘Still not done. I have a good finale.’ She gave him an intense look as he cleaned his fingers and sat still, like a child waiting for his Christmas present. ‘Now this is the tricky part. Because there is still a chance you have been lying to me all this time and you really are dangerous and prepared to kill me or others.’ He sat perfectly still, listening intently. ‘So some might think me crazy for giving a wanted murderer a weapon, but here I am. I trust you, Sirius.’

She took out the wand from the basket and handed it over. He held out both his hands like he was carrying something breakable. He stared down at the wand for a long moment before he grabbed it in his hand and started feeling the magic pulse from him to the wand. On contact, the tip lit up with some sparks.

‘You gave me a wand,’ he whispered, still admiring it. She nodded. ‘It’s a second hand. London was a bit far away. But I think it will do fine. Give it a try.’

Sirius found a piece of paper on the ground, probably an aged newspaper, and said: _incendio!_ The paper caught on fire immediately.

‘Straight up destroying things,’ Alicia couldn’t help but say. He looked at her and smiled. ‘Sorry. Old habits. Here, watch this. _Reparo!’_ The fire stopped and the paper grew to its original size. Even the ink came back. It revealed to be a newspaper from 1962.

‘That works well. It seems to agree with you,’ Alicia noticed.

He caressed the wand like it was a loved one. ‘It is raw and unpredictable. Perfect for me.’

The one moment he was smiling, the next he grew grim. He placed the wand carefully on the table. ‘It’s too much. I can’t take it.’

‘Don’t be silly. You need all of this. When you face Peter you need a wand. The rest speaks for itself. I only wish I could do more.’

‘More? More? Alicia, no one has done so much for me in…well at least twelve years. Your kindness and faith in me exceeds all possible expectations. You are extraordinary.’

She huffed. ‘Are you serious?’

He sat still, blinked twice, and then said: ‘Yes I am.’ A devilish grin came on his face.

Alicia wanted to face-slap herself at his stupid joke, but suddenly remembered something. ‘That’s it! That’s what he was responding to!’

‘Who did what now?’

She laughed. ‘A little while ago I said the same thing to Remus, and he looked around expectantly. I bet you made that joke all the time!’ Sirius laughed. ‘All those years and Moony still can’t handle hearing ‘are you serious’. Legendary.’

They laughed together for a moment. ‘I think he will be delighted to have his friend back. He talks so often about the Marauders. Well, to me he does.’

Sirius giggled. ‘Bet he does. We had enough adventures to last a lifetime in those years. At some point we decided to make a map-,’

 _‘I solemnly swear I’m up to no good._ Yeah, I saw it.’

Sirius raised an eyebrow. ‘How could Moony still have it? We lost it to Filch in our last year.’

It was Alicia’s time to be confused. ‘Well, I don’t know actually. I think he got it from Harry just recently. How Harry got it, I have no idea.’

‘Hmm. Potentially dangerous that thing is. I bet Filch never figured out how to unlock it.’

They talked for a bit, but Alicia explained she couldn’t stay long because last time everyone was out looking for her. She told him about all the detention and her wonderful evening with Snape.

‘Ha! Snivellus the teacher! These poor, poor students, having to listen to that slimy git. So if you kept changing teachers, did Moony also give you detention?’

‘Yes. Snape wanted two days, but Remus saved my ass,’ she told him, a little wary.

‘Did you have sex during detention?’

‘I’m so not telling you!’

‘So you did. Man, Moony is on fire! Never thought he would grow up to be the best Marauder. Also, I don’t pity you anymore for the detention you served. You had a pretty… let’s say… happy ending.’

‘You are the worst,’ Alicia grumbled. She was about to get up when he placed his hand on her arm. ‘Don’t leave just yet. I wanted to ask you a question.’

‘As long as you stop asking questions about me and Remus,’ she told him. His face grew solemn, and she knew it was about something else. ‘I need information. I want to time this thing right. But you should not ask me too many questions, okay? Actually, don’t ask questions at all.’

Alicia sighed. ‘Okay, promise. What do you need to know?’

‘When is the hippogriff getting chopped up?’

Of all the questions he could ask, this one surprised her the most. ‘Uhh next week Friday. At sundown. Wh-,’

‘No questions, you agreed,’ Sirius quickly said. His dirty finger was on her lips and she resisted the urge to slap him away. ‘Fine. I kind of wanted to bring soap too, but I suppose there is no use in that. You will just get dirty living in a place like this.’

Sirius grinned and took his hand back. ‘Very true. Believe me, I’d rather be my charming self again. Haven’t seen that version of me for a while. But now is not the time for manicures. I think you should go now, before people start missing you again.’

Alicia stood up. ‘You are right. Well, this has been…fun I guess.’

He stood up too, and to her great surprise he hugged her. ‘Definitely fun. It almost feels like I’m sane again.’

She laughed and pulled back from the hug. ‘I don’t think I will visit again. I hope you will get what you want soon. Maybe one day we can be friends.’

He grinned a charming smile. ‘I would like that.’

He accompanied her up the stairs and saw her off through the hole in the roof. Alicia returned quickly to the village.

* * *

Everything became hectic when the exams started. Alicia studied more than she had ever done before, and still she felt unsure. There was so much material they could get questioned on. She had read and reread complete books from third and fourth year in case there were tiny details she had missed.

Some subjects gave her more stress than others. Astrology, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures were all subjects she felt pretty good about. But the remaining ones, Transfiguration, History of Magic and Potions were the ones she was stressing about. Potions had always been a well-going class, up until Snape decided to hate her and continue to try and get her in trouble. She needed to make sure there was no room for error, so she mainly studied that subject.

Monday and Tuesday went by in a blur, but it left Alicia with a good enough feeling. Michelle and Elena felt good too, but Sophia had always been bad at Charms. Alicia was mostly looking forward to Wednesday, because the Care of Magical Creatures exam was happening that day. Hagrid still felt terrible, but he knew the N.E.W.T.S. were important so he faked his enthusiasm. There were also two judges present, someone from the Ministry who worked in the disposal section and a Magizoölist. Naturally, the Magizoölist and Hagrid weren’t too interested in the third exterminator his opinion.

First off Alicia was led to an enclosure with bowtruckles in them who were defending the tree they were sitting in. It was the task to distract them to retrieve branches for wand-making. Next, there was an angry fire crab that was setting the forest on fire. Alicia knew just how to handle him and got praising words from the judges. Then she was led to the lake, where she had to find a kelpie and bring it back. When all that was done, the man from the Ministry asked her how to deal with centaurs if they invaded your land.

‘You talk to them, because centaurs are sentient beings and not beasts,’ she told him defiantly. He scribbled something down but Hagrid looked very pleased.

Her friends hadn’t taken that subject, so she would meet up with them in the Hall for lunch. She got a moment alone with Hagrid to assure him she would be there on Friday. He clapped her on the shoulder and urged her back inside before he would cry.

Potions wasn’t as bad as she feared. In the end they were asked to make three complicated potions in three hours, but Alicia knew just how to do it. First, she made a schedule. One of the potions needed a long time to sit in between the adding of the ingredients and the stirring phase, so a little time-management seemed like a good choice. It stressed her out every time Snape came near her. She protected her potion like a child. After a couple of attempts to catch her off-guard he got annoyed and left her alone. She succeeded in all three potions, with only a little density issue.

‘I’m so done with all of it,’ Sophia complained as she fell backwards on her bed. ‘Can’t it just be over already?’

‘One more day Soph. Two more exams. Then we are done,’ Michelle told her, but she looked just as exhausted.

‘Who planned to do History of Magic on the last day? Honestly…’ Alicia chimed in as she rubbed her temples. ‘At least it is in the morning. I hope I still have my wits later in the day.’

‘Somehow I can’t see you failing Defence,’ Michelle said chipper. Alicia gave her a look but it only encouraged Michelle. ‘You being the top dueller and all.’

‘I bet if you duelled Lupin you would still win,’ Elena said from her upside-down position on the bed, holding her notes up in the air. Sophia laughed. ‘I’d love to see that happen! Can you challenge the teacher for your exam?’

‘I don’t think so, and I’m not gonna try,’ Alicia told them certainly.

‘I’d love to see that too,’ Michelle continued in her ‘I’m going to be annoying’ voice. ‘I bet you would end up on top.’

Alicia nearly choked. She tried to calm herself down and drink some tea as Elena fuzzed over her. She gave Michelle a deadly glare, she winked back and the conversation was over. 

* * *

When Alicia woke up on Friday, she knew it would be long and eventful. First, she had to sit through the most boring exam of all. Then she had to sit through an exam with Remus. Then she had to calm Hagrid while his Hippogriff got slaughtered. And tomorrow was the full moon. Not that she had to do anything, but she wanted to give Remus some form of comfort. She actually considered going to the Shack in the evening and asking Sirius if they could help Remus. Later on she remembered that he now had the Wolfsbane potion again and would remember everything from that night. So, there was nothing she could do but wait it out.

History of Magic was everything they were afraid of. It was deadly silent in the Great Hall as they took their exams. Every once in a while you could hear someone having a mental breakdown. Alicia fought through, and hoped she knew enough to pass.

The Hall was quickly rearranged for lunch, and then back again for their DADA exam. One student at a time would come in and have to duel a member of the judges. There was a line of nervous students waiting in the Entrance Hall. When the second student came out he looked very perplexed, and Alicia could swear his ears looked twice their normal size.

‘What happened?’ someone asked him.

‘I…I duelled Professor Lupin.’

There was a lot of confusion. ‘You can ask him too? I thought it was just the Ministry people!’

‘Well I shouldn’t have. He is clearly way stronger than the others.’

‘Miss Alicia Doreen?’ a witch said from the entrance to the Hall. Alicia stood up and walked over to her. She passed Michelle, who gave her a challenging look.

The massive doors closed behind her and silence returned to the room. As she followed the witch, she noticed four other Ministry people, at least one an Auror, sitting behind a table. Remus was also behind the table, but he was drinking some water and looking a bit tired. _Oh right. He is tired and he still beat the crap out of Justin._

‘Welcome Alicia,’ said another voice. In her quick scan of the room she had missed the flamboyantly dressed Professor Dumbledore, sitting a little to the left. ‘Professor Dumbledore? I didn’t know you attended the N.E.W.T.S.’

There was a twinkle in his eye when he leaned forward. ‘Ah I was curious. Simply couldn’t resist to be a part of these tests. Also, I wish to see how the students grow. And it so happens I like Defence Against the Dark Arts the most. Are you ready for your test?’

She nodded. ‘Yes professor.’

‘Then you may pick anyone from this room to duel,’ he told her. That surprised her even more. Did that mean…you could duel Dumbledore? She wasn’t stupid enough to challenge what many called the greatest wizard currently alive, but the possibility interested her.

Then her eyes roamed over the other options. Clearly the witch was an option too, and she looked rather weak with her old glasses and dusty robes. But looks were very deceiving, and she could put money on it that this woman was exceptionally skilled. The other men looked quite similar, all wearing neat robes and straight haircuts. What some people might think is impressive, she ruled out as a threat. They were too neat to be good fighters. They were bureaucrats.

So, they were the easy pick. Then, of course, she could do what Michelle wanted her to do. In her mind that wasn’t fair though. He was already having a rough day, why make it worse?

‘Calculating your options, miss Doreen?’ Dumbledore asked.

‘Sorry sir. I’ll make a choice.’

‘Professor Lupin told me you are the best dueller of the class,’ he said back with a smile. She could see Remus smile too. ‘That’s very kind of him, sir.’

‘Indeed, and probably true. I hope you are not making this exam too easy on yourself. You should look for the challenge, if you truly want to prove yourself.’

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I don’t mind a challenge, but there is wisdom in knowing when you are out of reach. I’m sorry professor. I won’t pick you. Unless you assure me I pass simply by trying.’

Some of the Ministry men looked shocked, whereas Dumbledore just looked amused. ‘I’m afraid I can’t do that, no matter how much I would like to see your skill up close. The last student challenged Professor Lupin. He failed. Do you think you can succeed?’

Sometimes it was like he could read minds, and it was very scary. But she couldn’t see a way around it. ‘I think I can. Professor Lupin, I challenge you.’

He got up from his chair. ‘You are making me work today, Headmaster,’ he said lightly. He donned his cape again and stepped in front of the table, opposite Alicia. She got her wand out and donned her Hogwarts robe as well. Was it getting hotter in the room or was she getting more uncomfortable? 

There was the traditional bow, then the stepping away and raising the wands.

‘Take your positions. In three, two, one…’ one of the men said.

‘ _Stupify!_ ’ Remus said as he quickly fired the first offensive spell. Shielding charms weren’t hard for her anymore; she could do them non-verbally. She easily blocked his spell and fired a Slicing charm back in his direction. He parried it and continued to fire three spells in rapid succession. First off it seemed like he would go easy on her, but she quickly realised he would _not_ do that. He was increasing his pace, making her work for it. They had circled each other fully and were using all the available ground. He tried to push her against the table with the judges to get her distracted and cornered, but she wouldn’t let him. She had gotten very creative with levitation charms. She quickly enlarged a stone on the floor and then made it give her a boost so she could jump high away.

Remus was dazed for a moment and she used it to fire a spell at his shoulder. It hit him and he started bleeding.

‘Sorry,’ she said simply.

He did some healing spells and was back. ‘Sorry you didn’t aim for someplace more lethal?’

She rolled her eyes. ‘I’m not trying to kill you Rem-professor.’

She didn’t dare to look at Dumbledore or the others, so figured it was better to continue their fight. She was throwing a lot of complex spells his way, showing off all she had learned over the years. Remus didn’t seem slowed down by her many attempts.

He found a hole in her attack and threw his own spells at her. She could see how Justin had failed, he was really, really good. Then she remembered he had already fought in a war. Of course he was good, or he wouldn’t be alive!

It had taken more than ten minutes, and she could feel a stitch in her side. She needed to end it or she would make mistakes. The jumping trick seemed to work last time, so she wanted to use that again. All she needed was a distraction.

‘ _Incendio!’_ Alicia screamed, to make absolutely certain everyone knew what was coming. A yet of fire came from her wand and launched at her boyfriend. Remus seemed ready.

‘ _Aguamenti!’_ he said back, making sure the fire wouldn’t reach him. As the water reached the fire, great clouds of steam were rising between them. For a moment, the opponents couldn’t see each other. This was her moment.

She did the same trick with enlarging a rock with _Engorgio_ and used it as a step up into the air. She turned around in the air, making her legs swing up and over Remus. In the smoke he could only see her long hair tangling somewhere above him, but he was too slow to react. When the smoke cleared, Alicia was behind Remus and he could feel the tip of her wand in his neck.

‘Got you,’ she taunted.

Both of them were breathing heavily. For a moment that was all the sound in the Hall. Then she heard clapping behind her, and figured she could let Remus go. Dumbledore was giving her a standing ovation.

‘Splendid Alicia, splendid! Such clever tricks you have. You are an excellent dueller,’ he praised.

Alicia bowed and took in the happy faces of the judges. They were all taking notes. Dumbledore leaned in over the table. ‘Did you ever think about a career where you can use those skills?’

There was water on the table which she happily drunk. ‘I’m sure they come in handy when one is trying to control dragons.’ Dumbledore didn’t seem content with that answer. ‘But if you had to fight, would you?’

She cocked her head to the side, wondering what he was asking her. Remus came up next to her to drink water too. ‘I’m sure she will do wonderfully in Romania. But it is always good to be ready to defend yourself. Remember what you have learned when one of those creatures is threatening you. It might save your life.’

She just nodded and left it at that. Remus told her how proud he was of his student and that she was dismissed. She thanked the judges and turned to leave. When she came closer to the doors she noticed that they weren’t completely closed. The door stood slightly ajar, and a couple dozen faces were peering in. Alicia blushed and smiled at her classmates.

‘No peeking! Do that again and we consider it cheating!’ the witch shrieked as they all dispersed. The next student was called in and the doors closed.

‘That was incredible!’

‘You _floored_ Lupin!’

‘You are so brilliant Nessie!’

‘Thanks guys,’ she said uneasily. ‘It was pretty awesome, I must admit that.’

‘Did I see Dumbledore in there?’ Michelle asked as she pushed forward in the crowd. Alicia nodded. ‘Yeah, and you can challenge him to. So if anyone wants to take over my fame…that’s the way to do it!’ 

Some laughed nervously, others looked scared. No one was stupid enough to challenge him.

‘Well, you did it,’ Michelle said proudly when everyone was back to their own nervous state. ‘You challenged Lupin and you won.’ Alicia placed her arm around her friend. ‘I couldn’t have done it without your trust in me.’ They laughed and waited out the rest of the people taking their exams.


	16. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's. About. To go. DOWN.   
> Are you ready?

Do you ever feel like a side character in someone else’s story? Like you are on the bench and have to wait and see how the game plays out, but you can’t just run into the field saying ‘hey guys! I want to play too!’ You are not supposed to be in the game. You could spoil the outcome.

That is how Alicia felt after all her exams were finished on Friday afternoon. She had waited patiently until Michelle, Sophia and Elena had done their DADA exams. Michelle had challenged the witch, and she was indeed as precise and powerful as Alicia had thought, but still Michelle had bested her. Elena, in her nervous state, had decided to challenge Remus as well, but found out quickly that she had made a mistake. After a breakdown they had offered her a second chance. She had chosen one of the Ministry men and had taken him down within ten minutes. Sophia had taken the safest route by choosing the easiest option, but she had won too. No one had challenged Dumbledore, and Alicia was sure he was disappointed.

After all the tension of the last week started to dissipate the girls had taken the afternoon to chill by the lake. They weren’t the only ones, it was a nice warm spring day. Alicia had taken some time to talk to the merpeople and save a swimmer from an aggressive grindylow. Before it would become too much of a show Alicia said her goodbyes and went to Hagrid.

It was going to be a terrible evening, she was sure of it. First off; the brilliant and beautiful Buckbeak was going to be slaughtered. Alicia was afraid Hagrid would insist on watching and she was not sure the poor man could ever recover from that. Second off; she wasn’t a fool. Sirius was going to make his move tonight. He had asked about the execution, and she knew it would be significant. What that meant was, that at some point she had to walk away and stop interfering. Would he stop the execution? Was he going to show up in Hagrid’s house? Alicia didn’t know, but the moment she sensed something odd she needed to leave. Even if that meant leaving Hagrid…

‘Knock knock.’

‘Who’s there?’ Hagrid opened his massive front door. It creaked heavily. ‘Oh, it’s you. Come in, I’ve put the kettle on.’ Alicia walked in and looked around. The house was tidier than usual. At least there were no humps of meat on the table covered in flies, or questionable substances in cauldrons over the fireplace. The table was only decorated with some pots and a set of mugs the size of Hagrid’s hand.

‘Tea? Figured you would be drinking something stronger,’ Alicia said absent-minded. She looked out of the window. In the middle of his garden, in stark contrast to the orange pumpkins, was the Hippogriff in question. Buckbeak was chasing away some crows who bothered him.

‘I’m saving that for later,’ Hagrid said with a sigh. ‘Best to have a clear mind when…well when they come.’ Alicia just nodded and stopped looking at the victim of today. Hagrid prepared the tea and handed her mug over. They sat in silence for a while. It was hard to express these emotions in words.

‘I’m taking it you tried everything to change the mind of the Committee?’ Alicia said softly. Hagrid sniffed. ‘Me, and Hermione and the boys. They looked in all the books, tried writing letters and all that. Brilliant they are, but there was nothing we could do. Simply because _Malfoy_ was on the case.’

Alicia remembered everything Lucius Malfoy had tried to do to Hagrid last year. ‘That man ought to be brought down a notch. Problem is that hardly anyone is capable of that. I guess corruption will always be a part of politics. That is one of the reasons I don’t want to work for the Ministry.’

Hagrid just shrugged and sank back in a depressed state. There were so many things she wanted to say to this poor man who had meant so much to her in the last seven years, but she just didn’t know the words for it. So she decided to place her hand on his. He looked up, first at their hands, then at her. There were tears in his eyes. He looked so tired. Yet he managed to smile at her, and she knew he understood what she was trying to say. There was a moment between them that was impossible to put in words.

Then there was a new knock on the door. Hagrid’s face changed as he feared the arrival of his guests. He suddenly looked quite lost. He quickly wiped away the tears before bellowing: ‘Coming!’ The door opened, Hagrid said some things for a moment and in came three familiar faces. Alicia was partly happy to see them, but it was also her first red flag. Harry would play a part in everything that would happen tonight. How she wished she could just _tell him._

‘Hey guys,’ Alicia said, trying to sound chipper. They greeted her back with the same faked enthusiasm. Only Ron seemed a bit more animated as he asked her: ‘is it true? My brother Percy keeps saying that you bested Professor Lupin on your exam!’

Alicia smiled shyly. ‘Yeah that is true. Guess it is the most exciting piece of gossip of the day.’ They sat down and waited for Hagrid to get them the tea. Alicia gave Harry a quick look, wondering whether she _should_ run into the playing field. He caught her staring.

‘Everything okay?’ he asked kindly.

Silence fell for a minute. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’

‘Where’s Buckbeak, Hagrid?’ Hermione asked hesitantly.

‘I-I took him outside,’ Hagrid started, spilling milk over the table as he tried to pour with his shaking hands. ‘He’s tethered in the pumpkin patch. Thought he ought to see the trees and…and smell fresh air…before…’

He trembled so bad that his hand slipped and the milk jug fell to the floor, where it shattered. Hermione offered to clean it up and searched for another jug in the cupboard. Alicia jumped in to clean the floor with a quick spell and guided Hagrid back in his seat. ‘You should sit down now.’

‘Isn’t there anything anyone can do, Hagrid? Dumbledore-,’ Harry started.

‘Dumbledore tried,’ said Hagrid. ‘He’s got no power to overrule the Committee. He told them Buckbeak is alright and all, but they’re scared. You know what Malfoy is like…threatened them I suspect. But it’ll be quick and clean, and I’ll be beside him…’

‘I’m not too sure you should, Hagrid. That image will stay with you forever. I know all about your gentle heart. I don’t think you can take it,’ Alicia said softly. Hagrid sniffed. ‘So what? I should just walk away? Leave Bucky alone?’ Alicia shook her head. ‘No, you can stay. But just don’t…look.’

‘We can stay with you,’ Hermione offered, her back still to the group as she looked in the cupboard. Alicia was pretty sure she was hiding tears. ‘No way. You’re going back to the castle. I told you, I don’t want you watching. You shouldn’t be down here at all. If Fudge or Dumbledore finds you…Harry will be in big trouble.’

Alicia visibly shivered. _Oh Harry, when he comes…just listen to him…_

She was so lost in thought that she missed Hermione opening a jug and screaming at the content.

‘Ron! I don’t believe it…it’s Scabbers!’

Ron just stared. ‘What are you talking about?’ Hermione carried the jug over to the table and turned it upside-down. With a lot of squeaking, a big rat came sliding out onto the table.

‘Scabbers!’ Ron shrieked in disbelief. ‘What are you doing here?’

Alicia took a good look at the rat right in front of her. The creature looked ill, like it was on the brink of dying. He was missing big patches of fur and he was also missing…

_Wormtail was called Peter Pettigrew. His animagi form was a rat._

_I know who I need to take to get to him, but I don’t want to hurt anyone._

A toe. The rat was missing a toe. It looked at Alicia for a moment and the look the creature gave back was too intelligent for a rodent.

Ron was now holding his pet rat up and got startled quite a bit as Alicia nearly fell off her chair as she backed away from the table. Everyone was staring at her now.

‘Are you okay, Alicia?’ Hagrid asked, his attention currently gone from the dawning moment. ‘Are you afraid of rats? Scabbers doesn’t hurt anyone,’ Ron assured her.

Alicia was just violently shaking her head. Tears started to form. ‘I’m trying very hard to stay calm right now.’ It came out in a squeaky voice. The others looked confused. ‘You don’t seem very calm,’ Hermione observed.

Alicia’s eyes landed once more on the rat. This man is the real murderer, the real prisoner of Azkaban. It should have been him, so Harry could have had a godfather and an uncle who would care for him like he was their son. Remus and Sirius could have been happy for the last twelve years, if it wasn’t for this rat.

‘Believe me, I’m calm,’ Alicia whispered between her teeth. ‘I need to be.’ Before anyone could ask another question, she knew she had to leave. This was the reddest flag she was going to get. This was why Sirius had asked, because he had figured out that Peter was Ron’s pet. And Ron would be where Harry would be…

‘Listen,’ she said directly to Harry. ‘Soon you will understand my odd behaviour. And depending on the outcome of tonight, you might want to hit me in the face for my choice right now. But I just _can’t_ interfere. This is not my story.’ Harry listened intently. In fact the whole house was quiet. ‘I’m going to leave now. I’m sorry Hagrid, but you have to do this alone. Please, whatever you do…don’t look.’

Without more explanation than that, she took the back door and was gone.

* * *

Tonight couldn’t get any more chaotic. After a tiresome day of judging exams, even having to duel a handful of them, being stuck in meetings about grades and all the while feeling exhausted, Remus couldn’t catch a break. He was currently hurrying down the stairs. A part of his mind still couldn’t believe the name he saw on the map…

He was so disoriented that he ran into someone. ‘Excuse me,’ he said without looking.

‘Remus?’

He looked up when he heard his name being spoken so softly. It was Alicia. ‘Alicia! I’m sorry I don’t have time. I need to get to Hagrid.’ Alicia looked down. ‘I think the execution is already performed.’

He sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, it’s not about that. It’s…I saw a name on the map. Inside Hagrid’s house, and then outside with Harry, Ron and Hermione. The map is never wrong!’

‘I know.’

At first it sounded like she was agreeing to the map not being wrong, but her expression told another story. ‘What do you mean? What do you know?’

Alicia couldn’t look him in the eye. She looked squirmish…guilty. ‘Remus I know what name you saw. I found him too. I’m actually running away from it now.’

He was not expecting that. ‘Why running away? You could have-,’ She was quick to respond. ‘Yes but I shouldn’t. This is not my story, Remus,’ she said with pleading eyes. ‘I wish I could help, but tonight is not about me. Follow Wormtail. I think you already know where to go. There will be a lot of information tonight. Please listen.’

She started to move but Remus stopped her. ‘Did you…see him? Did you see Padfoot?’ All she did was stare him down. There was no need to confirm it with words, he could see it in her eyes. Where she had disappeared to that one day. Why she couldn’t tell him…why didn’t she tell him?

‘You should have told me,’ he said. He was starting to get angry. Alicia, _his_ Alicia, had spent the day with a possible murderer and she _hadn’t told him?_ All she did was pry his hand from her shoulder. ‘It is not my story.’ Then she walked on quickly.

Remus stared after her for a moment, feeling conflicted. He was definitely angry with her, but there was also respect. Respect for her choices. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should be the one to confront Sirius, not her. He had been scared of this moment for some time. He might even admit that he had nightmares where Sirius was in his animagi form, biting on the corpses of James and Lily. But now…maybe it wasn’t him. The man with the answers was close. Or well, the rat.

* * *

‘In all my years in this school, I have never seen a student look so depressed on the evening _after_ the exams!’ Michelle exclaimed through the Ravenclaw common room. It was very quiet in the common room. The Gryffindors were once more hosting a party and this time almost everyone was invited. At this point there were a couple of first years sitting in a corner, and Michelle, Alicia, Elena and Sophia in their usual spots in front of the fireplace.

Alicia had been a miserable wreck ever since she entered the room. She wasn’t in the mood to talk. She knew a lot was happening right now. She cared about everyone involved – apart from Wormtail – and was scared about the outcome. She knew Harry would be furious once he found Sirius. Would he be mad enough to kill him? Would Remus? What if they didn’t listen? What if Peter escaped before Sirius could prove anything?

And what if it went right? They got Peter, he confessed and everyone stopped blaming Sirius. Would Sirius and Remus kill their old friend? That would haunt Remus forever… Alicia exhaled deeply.

‘You can’t be worried about your exams, can you? You must have done great,’ Elena asked carefully. The girls didn’t know what was going on, but it was clear they were walking on eggshells around her tonight.

‘Of course that’s not it. What got you so sad Alicia? You can tell us,’ Sophia said kindly. Alicia looked at her friend, the one who had the most trouble with talking about problems. Sophia had never been unkind, but she was just very bad at listening and understanding. No one blamed her, but no one really talked to her either. Alicia appreciated her trying and told her a half-truth.

‘You should have seen Hagrid’s face,’ she said emotionally. She hadn’t expected it would hit her so hard, but in reality it had. Hagrid was so beyond help, and Alicia had hated to see him like that. ‘He is so lost. He has the kindest of hearts, and Malfoy decided to stamp on it. It’s so unfair…’ she was actually starting to cry now. The girls grew quiet, worried looks plastered on their faces. ‘Life is so unfair. The innocent ones will always be blamed and beaten so that the liars can thrive. We are living in a world of prejudice and I’m so _sick_ of it.’

That’s it. That was the core of her sadness. Prejudice because Sirius came from a pureblood family so he must have been a Death Eater. Draco Malfoy got hurt so Buckbeak must be vicious. Remus was a werewolf so he must be a monster. She was dating a teacher so she must be crazy.

She dabbed furiously at her tears. ‘I’m not even sad, I’m mad. I’m so done with lying and pretending. It’s the end of the year anyway. Why should anyone still care?’

The girls looked confused. They were about to ask her more when the room was suddenly bathed in white light. One of the first years must have opened the enormous curtains. The moonlight was spilling in.

‘Wow! The full moon is so beautiful tonight!’ the girl told her friend. Alicia sighed in frustration and turned in her chair to face the young girls. ‘The full moon is tomorrow,’ she said agitated.

‘Uhm, I’m pretty sure it is tonight,’ Elena said with her eyes facing the moon. Alicia got up from her chair and walked over to the window. ‘Does it matter?’ Michelle asked. The young girls had taken Alicia’s hostility personal and had disappeared into their dorm.

‘T-tonight? The full moon is…tonight?’ Alicia stammered. She opened a window and in came a gush of wind, together with an ominous sound. The sound she dreaded to hear…a howl.

‘Shit!’ Alicia exclaimed. She was already turning and ready to sprint to the door, but her path was blocked. Three girls were standing there with their arms crossed and serious looks on their faces.

‘You are not running out of the castle again. There is still a murderer out there which you seem to forget,’ Michelle told her like a mother would tell her daughter not to go out at night. Alicia looked at them individually, wondering if this was a joke. ‘Guys, I don’t have time for this! A friend needs help-,’

‘Ha! Of course! That is your excuse for everything isn’t it?’ Elena said, looking similarly stern. ‘There is always a mysterious friend in need.’

‘Well there is!’ she exclaimed, thinking of a way out. She simply knew that Remus had gotten the date wrong too. He had told her that the full moon was on Saturday. So he was about to wolf out in front of Sirius…Harry…Ron…Hermione…

‘Who is it then? We need a name,’ Sophia told her.

There was just no time. She looked at Michelle, hoping she would help her out. Her expression didn’t change.

Alicia sighed. ‘Alright fine. It’s Remus.’

Sophia and Elena looked at each other. ‘Who is that? I don’t know anyone by that name.’

‘No it does ring a bell. A distant one. Hey isn’t that the name of Professor Lupin?’ Elena helped out. ‘But you don’t mean him…do you?’

Once more she sighed deeply. A second howl could be heard from outside. Alicia turned back to the view past the windows, hoping to see anything moving around.

‘Oh my god he is a werewolf,’ Michelle whispered.

Alicia turned around to see Michelle looking pale and ready to fall over. ‘Professor Lupin is a werewolf. That’s why he is sick. That’s why you want to go. Do you seriously intent to run out there and stop a werewolf?’

‘That is not possible, they would never hire a were-‘

‘Why would you care to help Professo-,’

‘Please tell me you have more common sense than tha-,’

‘Okay stop!’ Alicia yelled as they were all talking at the same time. They stopped and looked at her. She needed to go. A good stunning truth would get her out of here. Exams were over, right?

‘Yes, he is a werewolf. And yes, I’m going to help him. I will be careful, I have helped him before. You are not going to stop me, because I know there are people out there right now he could hurt. He would never forgive himself if he bit someone. So I’m going now, and if any of you says a word about this to someone else, I will come for you and hurt you. He is not a monster, he doesn’t deserve to be fired. Clear?’

They were indeed stunned into silence as Alicia had hoped. She touched their shoulders quickly and then ran to the door.

‘One more question!’ Elena yelled after her in the otherwise deserted common room. ‘Why you? Why are you the one to help him?’

With a hand on the doorknob, there was really no cell in her body that wanted to lie. She smiled to herself.

‘Because I love him.’

* * *

It was like a dream, only crazier. The party of people who were walking down the tunnel towards the Whomping Willow couldn’t have been more unlikely. Remus was chained to a human version of Peter Pettigrew, who had finally confessed to his crimes and thereby cleared Sirius’ name. On the other side of Peter was Ron, who had his leg in a splint and was hopping along quickly, wanting it to be over soon.

Behind these three was Severus, unconscious and floating along by Sirius’ wand who was behind him. Harry and Hermione made up the rear. The cherry on the cake was the ginger cat who had been working with Sirius and was now leading the way.

‘Sirius,’ Remus started as he looked back behind him. Several people had cast the Lumos charm and the blue light made Sirius look even paler than he was. ‘I need to ask you something.’

Sirius bowed his head. ‘What is it Moony?’

There was no way to be discreet about this. He could pretend the others wouldn’t hear, but there was no other sound in the tunnel. ‘Did you…get a visitor? In the time you were in the Shrieking Shack?’

For the first time since he had found his old friend again, he saw him smile. It made his features look younger and more handsome. In other words; more like the Sirius he knew.

‘Oh yes I did. We had a lovely time,’ Sirius told him. Remus gave him a warning look, but it only encouraged Sirius. ‘I learned so much. Even after all the talking you did tonight, you still have quite the story to tell.’

The others were silent, probably wondering what this was about. ‘I’m not telling you anything. I just need to know…that this person wasn’t in danger.’

‘No, she wasn’t.’ Remus flinched when he let slip that it was concerning a she. ‘Maybe at first, but she knew just how to talk to me. After a while she was convinced of my innocence and helped me. Brilliant, she is.’

Remus nodded and decided to stop talking. He knew the three students were giving him odd looks but he tried to ignore them. Peter was still trembling, possibly not listening at all.

‘Hey Moony?’

‘Yes?’

‘I’m proud of you.’

‘Shut up Padfoot.’

Nobody talked for the rest of the walk. Sometimes the tunnel would get so narrow that the three of them had to go through sideways. It was an uncomfortable walk fitting an uncomfortable day. He couldn’t even imagine himself lying down in his soft bed. It seemed like another life to have that comfort.

They clambered out of the tunnel. Hermione’s cat probably pressed the knot on the tree. The grounds were very dark by now, the only light came from the castle in the distance.

‘One wrong move, Peter,’ Remus warned him as they continued walking. He had his eyes fixed on the castle and wondered what it would look like to enter the school in this formation. However, something was nagging him. A thought in the back of his mind, something he should have remembered.

A cloud shifted. Remus looked down at their shadows who were visible in the bright moonlight.

Oh yes. That thing. That is what he should have remembered. Snape had told him when he had arrived in the house. He was a day off in his calculations. All the stress of the exams had made him sloppy. _I’m such a fool._

He stopped abruptly and felt the floating Snape bump into him. The fiery pain settled in his bones and skin. He started to tremble.

‘Run! Now!’ Sirius said somewhere behind him. He was aware of panicked screams around him but there was nothing he could do right now. The transformation wouldn’t take too long. He stopped sensing what was going on around him as his mind fell into darkness…

* * *

There were probably things she could have done to make everything easier. Like bring a broom to fly on, or maybe some help. But Alicia was completely blinded by the thought of Remus slashing at Harry, or Ron or Hermione. She was running down the hill past Hagrid’s house as fast as she could. The Willow wasn’t too far from here…

There were people on the hill next to the tree. She found Ron, Hermione and Snape. Snape was floating above the ground and seemed unconscious.

‘Hermione!’ Alicia yelled. ‘Are you okay? Where is Harry?’

Hermione was so startled to hear her voice that it took her a moment to answer. ‘Alicia! What are you doing here? Harry is…well he went into the forest.’

‘I need to help Professor Lupin. He turned, didn’t he?’ she said while catching her breath. She hadn’t stopped since she darted out of the Ravenclaw tower and now started to feel the stitch in her side.

‘You knew? You knew he was a werewolf?’ Ron said accusingly. ‘Why did you two not tell anyone?’

The two girls locked eyes. ‘He deserves better,’ Alicia said. ‘Where is he now? Is Sirius with him?’

‘You knew about Sirius too?!’ Ron yelped. ‘Why didn’t you say anything to us! At Hagrid’s, you could have told us what you knew!’

‘No I couldn’t have Ron!’ Alicia screamed back, making the red-head curl up tight on the floor. ‘If I had killed your rat in Hagrid’s house you would never have known why! You would never have believed Sirius! And you would _really_ not have believed or trusted me if I told you I had already seen Sirius and had helped him! Now tell me…where is Remus?!’

That seemed to shut him up. All Ron did was point in the direction of the forest. ‘He ran off in that direction.’

‘Alicia it’s too dangerous!’ Hermione pleaded. Alicia was already jogging onward. ‘But Harry is down there too! Someone should save him!’

Without waiting for a reply, Alicia made her way down between the trees. Everything was brightly illuminated by the moonlight. The clouds had disappeared completely. It was easier to make her way across the grounds like this. But how would she find a werewolf in the woods?

The first thing she found was a small crook of the Black Lake at the bottom of a hill she was standing on. Down there she could see two people. It looked like Harry and Sirius. The lake was crowded by hundreds of dementors, all closing in on the two wizards. She had almost set off to run down the hill when she heard a sound coming from the trees.

‘Alicia Doreen,’ a voice said behind her. She was met by the sight of a brilliant being stopping in front of her. His body was like a horse, but he had a human torso and face.

‘Bane!’ Alicia exclaimed. Bane was sided by two other centaurs she had seen before but couldn’t remember the names of. ‘Bane I need your help. My friend is in the woods, but he is dangerous.’

‘We know. The werewolf. He is causing a lot of trouble. Many of the centaurs remember him from days long past, but he was never so intrusive. He is trying to kill many creatures,’ Bane told her.

‘I will stop him. Can you bring me to him?’

Centaurs were too proud to allow you to ride on their backs, but Alicia didn’t mind. She could run the entire night if she had to. She had enough motivation. They brought her to a clearing where there were tents and little houses build. She had been allowed into the centaur camp only once, and she knew what a great honour it was. Now however, the camp was wrecked and a huge wolf was the reason. Alicia looked down at the wolf and realised this was the first time she saw him. His fur was light brown like Remus’ hair. He was much bigger than a regular wolf, like Sirius was bigger than a regular dog. When he turned around she could see his amber eyes. They were mad and wild.

A centaur at the edge of the camp was raising his bow, ready to strike at the wolf.

‘No!’ Alicia cried. The centaur looked at her and lowered his bow. ‘Daughter of Vela, I understand you don’t want any creature harmed. But this werewolf has threatened my family. If it wasn’t for me, they would be dead. I must stop it.’

‘Son of Corvus, I understand your reason. But this werewolf is also someone I love. I can’t let you hurt him. I will lead him away from your camp and keep him occupied until he transforms back to a man. Is that satisfactory for you, my friend?’ Alicia knew how to speak to them. She had been invited to talk with multiple centaurs over the years. They always called her ‘daughter of Vela’, because that was the constellation that was brightest on the day she was born.

Ronan, for that was his name, took the arrow out of the string. ‘If you wish, it will be so. I do not intend to harm your loved ones.’ Alicia made a deep bow and thanked him.

So, this was the easy part. Now all she had to do was occupy a werewolf for six hours. Great.

She carefully stepped into the clearing. The wolf had its back turned on her. He had found food supplies and was rummaging around, looking for meat.

‘Moony?’ Alicia said with a squeaky voice.

The wolf snapped its head around and bared its teeth. The deep growl that came from his throat was enough to make her want to cry and fall down on her knees. But she had to be brave.

‘Moony, I know you can’t understand me, but there is one thing you need to do for me,’ she said slowly. She had her wand out in one hand. The wolf growled and stepped towards her. She twisted her wrist and made a rock fly up from the ground and hit him right between the eyes. It wouldn’t hurt him, but it would anger him.

‘Catch me if you can,’ Alicia told him with a smirk. The wolf growled in anger and jumped off from the ground. Alicia turned the floor temporarily in a trampoline and jumped high and far away from the reach of his jaw. She started running, the wolf hot on her heels.

She zigzagged through the trees and kept firing spells over her shoulder. Of course the wolf was faster, but she kept throwing confundus charms at him. It wasn’t enough to stop the beast but it slowed him just a bit.

‘Second time today I need to best you Rem!’ She yelled back. ‘Although I rather fail my exam than this time!’ a mad laughter escaped from her. In a very strange way this was exhilarating. Being chased by a giant, incredibly dangerous creature who tried to eat you. After all the adventures she had had so far with magical creatures, this was by far the most dangerous one. ‘I’m just building up my resume here! Dragons won’t be a problem after this!’ She laughed again but in doing so missed a root sticking out of the ground. She fell down hard. In her mind she could hear Michelle tell her this was going to happen. That one day she would be reckless and get killed. Alicia was really scared, but knew she had to act quickly. There was a second in which she could turn around and face the wolf that was jumping on top of her, jaw open and ready to bite.

 _‘Protego!’_ Alicia screamed with all the energy she had in her. She held onto her wand with both hands and made a shiny shield cover her completely. Moony bounced off the warding and was flung to the side. She had put so much strength in the charm that he was temporarily stunned.

She scrambled back to her feet and ran into a small clearing with a rock cliff on one side. With her back to the cliff she started weaving spells. She used all the protective spells she had used on the Shrieking Shack to make this clearing a prison as well. But the problem was that this time she had to deal with the wolf. Moony had to be in it before she sealed it off.

She wasn’t done yet when he got back on his paws. He looked a bit dazed but no less threatening. Because she was doing these spells verbally, the wolf was attracted to her. He stalked her in the shadow of the trees. All she could see were two big, amber eyes.

‘ _Protego Maxima_ ,’ she continued calmly. Moony growled and jumped forward. In the last moment she used the same trick as she did in her exam; she enlarged a rock and jumped up on it. She launched herself at the cliff, where she had seen a small ledge. She kept her back flat to the rock and held her feet up out of reach of the snapping jaws of the wolf. She continued the spell work.

Moony kept trying to grab her, but he couldn’t find footing against the steep slope. Finally, she had finished her work. There was a safe bubble around the clearing, giving Moony some space to walk around. The work had exhausted her. In her fatigue she nearly slipped down. Moony was down there, ready to bite her ankle and drag her down. She snatched her foot away just in time but made herself fall forward. She slit across the soft back of the wolf and landed on the rocks. Alicia winched as she felt several places where she was bleeding from.

But the cuts and bruises were nothing compared to the werewolf who was turning around. She scrambled away again but this time she wasn’t fast enough. He had landed his big paw on her leg and the nails were sinking into her flesh.

‘Aaaaargh! Moony stop!’

It was a feeble attempt at salvation. She knew Remus couldn’t hear her. She knew he wouldn’t stop. Only one bite and it was over…

Moony advanced on her, his huge head hanging over her. Alicia wished with everything in her power that there was a way out.

Her prayers were heard. An arrow landed on the ground just next to her, embedding in the earth between the rocks. Moony was distracted and she could pull herself out from under his paw. Bane was back, and he was challenging Moony from the edge of the clearing. Moony let go of his pray and advanced on the centaur. Alicia watched, holding her breath…hoping her spell work was good enough…Just before the wolf could hit Bane, it ran into an invisible field and fell backwards.

Alicia felt hands on her upper arms and saw a female centaur that was helping her stand. They got out of the clearing. The barrier was made for the wolf, so everyone else could go in and out.

‘Thank you,’ Alicia panted. She had trouble standing on her injured ankle. ‘You saved my life.’

Bane came up to the two women. ‘You are very brave, daughter of Vela. Mad, perhaps too.’

Alicia laughed. ‘I sure am.’ Bane looked at the wolf who was trying to break the barrier. ‘It will hold?’

‘Yes. And I’ll continue to make it stronger throughout the night,’ Alicia assured him. ‘He won’t hurt anybody anymore.’ The female centaur gave her an odd look. ‘You intend to stay here the entire night? Shouldn’t you go back to the other wizards and witches?’

Alicia shook her head fiercely. ‘He will transform back by sunrise. I will not leave him alone for a second. Not until he is safe again.’

Bane laughed. ‘Like I said; brave and mad. I will let someone come to you with herbs against your pain and food and water. Will you require anything else?’ Alicia shook her head. ‘Nothing else, but some herbs would be great. It really stings.’

The two centaurs left her and she sat down against a tree. Her ankle was stinging and throbbing. She finally inspected the rest of her body and found cuts on her hands and arms, one big gash on her elbow running down her arm. Her knees were scraped and her shins bruised. She also felt blood trickle down her temple. After some healing spells on her minor injuries she tried to do something about the claw marks on her ankle. Odd enough, anytime she tried to heal it, nothing happened.

She looked up at the werewolf. He was getting calmer now, realising he had nowhere to go. She thought about Remus’ face, and the scars running over it. That’s when she remembered that werewolf inflicted wounds couldn’t be healed by healing charms. She looked at her ankle. There were three gashes on the side, and she realised she would carry the scars forever. Remus wasn’t going to like that.

Another centaur came back later with the supplies. He helped her with the herbs who would at least soothe the pain. She thanked him, drank some water and ate some food. Then she strengthened the barrier again, but Moony was no longer pouncing on it. He was drinking water from a small stream coming down the cliff. Then he curled up and went to sleep. Alicia tried to stay awake, but every once in a while she felt herself slipping into a comfortable rest…


	17. The man who cried wolf

There were shapes flying around. Light and dark. There was something hurting in his back. It was the headache that finally jolted Remus awake. He was on his back on a big flat rock. There was the sound of running water nearby and the brilliant sunlight between the branches and leaves of the trees.

Remus groaned as he pushed himself up in a sitting position. His vision stopped turning and he tried to focus on his surroundings. First thing he noticed was that he was cold. He looked down and realised he was naked.

‘Great. Good start of the day,’ he muttered to himself. He also couldn’t find his wand. He looked around in the dirt until he noticed….blood. His heartbeat quickened as he inspected himself. He wasn’t bleeding anywhere. So whose blood was it?

He looked beyond the clearing, and in the shade of the trees he finally noticed someone sitting there. He walked closer and ran into a shield charm. ‘Auch!’

His noise woke her up. It was Alicia. She looked very tired, her hair sticking up in various angles. There was a woollen blanket over her that she shook off when she woke up. ‘Remus! You’re awake.’

‘Alicia there is blood over here. Please tell me I didn’t…’ he stopped as he saw the way she wobbled towards him. She wasn’t putting any pressure on her left leg. ‘Alicia…’

She took down the shield and was in his arms the next second. ‘You didn’t bite me,’ she whispered. A huge flood of relief washed over him. But it was still not okay. ‘But I hurt you,’ Remus said as he pushed her at arm’s length. She picked up the blanket and threw it over his shoulders. Remus welcomed the warmth and covering up of his private parts. She placed her hand lovingly on his cheek. ‘Yes, you scratched me. I won’t deny it. But seeing how wrong things _could_ have gone, I’m glad it’s only that. You didn’t hurt anyone else. Well…possibly Sirius before I arrived. But not Harry, Ron or Hermione. I also stopped you from hurting the centaurs.’

He looked astounded. ‘I remember walking with Peter and Ron and…I’m such a fool for forgetting the full moon. After all those years you should expect me to know when the full moon is…’

Alicia shook her head. ‘I forgot too. We were both very busy with the exams. Then with Sirius and Peter-,’

He had taken a step back and was looking at her. He looked angry. ‘You were with Sirius. That day I asked you to protect the Shack. You were with a man I thought had murdered my friends and you _didn’t tell me?_ ’

‘Don’t think I don’t feel guilty about that. I wanted to tell you. Sirius made me promise I wouldn’t. I think he was ashamed to face you. But you did now, right? You saw him and heard the story? Are you guys friends again?’ Alicia asked rapidly.

First he just watched her. A muscle in his cheek moved. Then he leaned forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘It took me a long time to be convinced of his innocence, and I had proof. I saw Peter. You just…believed him. He could have killed you!’

She looked down. ‘I know. I’m sorry. I won’t lie to you again.’

He was taken aback by that. ‘Good. I didn’t expect you to back down so fast though. You are usually more stubborn.’ She smiled and dared to glance at him. ‘I guess you could say I learn from my mistakes.’

Remus his look softened. He pulled her in for a hug. ‘Alicia what would I do without you?’ She chuckled and kissed his neck. ‘I don’t know, and I don’t mean to find out. Now, I think we should get you to the Hospital Wing.’

They started walking. It would be a long and uncomfortable walk, since the one was barefoot and the other had an injured ankle. At least the weather was nice. Remus started telling the story of yesterday. Alicia listened intently. The outcome wasn’t ideal since Peter got away. But at least he believed Sirius. At this moment neither of them had the correct information to finish the story, so they would have to ask someone at the castle.

‘So how often did you go to him?’ Remus asked calmly. He didn’t seem mad anymore. ‘Two times. The first time I ran into him when you asked me to ward the house, the second time I went by choice. He looked so bad. I gave him food and medicine. And company.’

Remus smiled. ‘Did you believe him quickly?’

‘Not really. I asked him a lot of questions and was scared in the beginning. But he wasn’t hostile. I don’t know. I took a leap of faith.’

There was a moment of silence before Alicia spoke again. ‘There is something else you should know.’

Remus waited. A deep sigh came from Alicia before she told him. ‘I…told my three friends about you being a werewolf…and that I lo-…that we are a thing.’

It was hard to read his expression. He seemed to concentrate. ‘Why?’

‘Well, the werewolf part Michelle figured out by herself. Damn her smart brain. And I needed to get out of the tower to get to you, but they were done listening to my lies. I needed to tell the truth or they would have stunned me and locked me up. But I made them swear not to tell anyone. I trust them, Remus.’

‘I understand. You had to do that. Also to maintain your friendship with them. Lucky for me all of you will graduate soon. Let’s hope that is really all. But I’m afraid…that word about tonight will get out,’ Remus said glumly. ‘Also…’

He stopped and tugged on her arm. She stopped too, not sure what he would do or say. He smiled down at her and leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met for a long moment. She felt his hand on her cheek, softly rubbing circles with his thumb. He let go with a gasp. Alicia just stood there for a moment, taken aback.

‘I love you too,’ he said with that famous smirk on his lips. She couldn’t help but smile. ‘Yeah, that,’ she said before she kissed him back. They stood there for a while, enjoying each other. Remus groaned as he let go of the kiss. ‘Careful now Alicia. Don’t get me too excited. I hardly have anything to cover my excitement up.’

She let her eyes travel down over his body, wrapped into the blanket. She made sure he saw her look. ‘I wouldn’t mind that.’

Remus steered her back in the direction of the castle. ‘This will be a busy morning. We don’t have time.’ She sighed. ‘Alright fine. But only because I don’t want to take advantage of a sick old man.’

‘You little-,’ one moment she was smirking proudly, the second she was upside down slung over his shoulder. ‘Oh bloody hell not this again,’ she protested.

He just kept walking. ‘Sick old man right? I can still handle you with one hand if I have to.’ 

He carried her like that for a little while before putting her back on her feet. They walked and talked through the early morning. They passed by the spot where he had turned last night, but there were no clothes or wand to be found. Alicia suggested they went by Hagrid to get something that she could shrink to his size. He wasn’t in his house, which was all the better. It was hard to explain why Remus was naked in the woods, but maybe harder to explain why she was there with him.

They found pants, slippers and a shirt that she shrunk until they fitted. He didn’t look like himself at all, but it was only temporary. It was still only 7:30 A.M. so hopefully must students were in their beds. They climbed the stairs towards the Hospital Wing.

Madame Pomfrey was in all sort of states. She had expected Remus to show up but was almost angry at Alicia for being there too. ‘I have the whole set today then! First Weasley, Potter and Granger and now you two as well. Alright, sit down Doreen. I’ll be with you in a moment.’

She smiled at Remus as he was guided to his regular bed in the back, where she would heal his small wounds and give him a potion against his exhaustion. When Madame Pomfrey came over to Alicia and saw the wounds, she looked troubled.

‘Yes, they were inflicted by a werewolf,’ Alicia whispered. ‘It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. Please just help me as much as you can and leave the rest to my body to heal.’

She shook her head fiercely. ‘In all my years, I never met anyone with the collection of wounds you have, Miss Doreen.’ Alicia chuckled. ‘Don’t worry Poppy, this will be the last time you see me in here.’

The witch almost cracked a smile.

* * *

That day was very tense for most students. Everyone was still waiting for the exam results to come back, which would happen on Monday. So mostly students were enjoying the nice weather outside and going to Hogsmeade.

The first people Alicia spoke to were Fred and George Weasley. She found them in the hall as she was leaving the Hospital Wing. They saw her leaning on a walking stick and were straight away concerned. After she forced them to tell her what they knew, she learned that Sirius had escaped tonight. That the Minister and Snape were beyond reason. They also told her that Ron was slightly injured on his leg, but that he was healing quickly.

She thanked them and hobbled on. There were multiple people she wanted to see. Remus was still in the Hospital Wing but would soon go to Dumbledore to talk things through. She didn’t know where Harry was but she would love to hear the story from his side. And eventually she had to confront her friends…

First Harry, she decided. She walked down the stairs slowly when someone jumped on the moving staircase just in time. ‘Hi Alicia! Oh wow, are you injured?’

Alicia turned her head to face the Slytherin with a huge crush on her. ‘Hi Damian. Uh, yeah. My ankle is twisted. The stick is to relieve pressure. How did your exams go?’

He beamed at her. ‘Very well, thank you for asking. Probably top marks in Potions and Divination. But I wonder if anything will change for Defence Against the Dark Arts.’

She had a bad feeling about this. ‘Why would that change?’

Damian looked incredulously. ‘You haven’t heard? Everyone in Slytherin knows. Professor Lupin is a werewolf! Can you imagine that? We got taught by a bloody monster!’

She had never tried harder to keep a fake smile on her face. ‘And who, pray tell, told you this?’

* * *

BAM! The door to Professor Snapes office flew open, nearly ripping off the hinges. The professor sat up straight and held his wand out to the door. If he expected anything, it wasn’t this. Not her.

‘Miss Doreen?’ he asked more shocked than angry. ‘Why are you disturbing me?’

‘Because I’m mad at you Snivellus,’ she said. She sounded more threatening than she had ever sounded. She flicked her wand and before he could respond she had her Potions teacher pinned to the wall, his feet dangling.

‘What is- PUT ME DOWN AT ONCE!’ He had lost it. He looked furious, but not as furious as she was. ‘I’m wondering. If I killed you right here in your office, would there be anyone that cared? Is there anyone on this earth that cares about you, Snivellus? I don’t see you going home to a wife and kids. I don’t see you being buddies with your neighbours. The only company I can imagine you in, is the Dark Lord’s followers.’

‘HOW DARE YOU-,’

‘I’m not done yet. I figure that your own life is so miserable, so lonely and so insecure that you take your frustration out on others. Others who are just trying to get their life back on track. Others who deserve happiness. And you…you will be the bogeyman that takes that away. How pathetic.’

He looked down his nose at her. Even pinned to the wall he still looked arrogant, looking down on her. ‘This is about Lupin isn’t it? I thought you two were…involved. He can’t seem to stop breaking rules, can he?’

She couldn’t handle his sneer right now. ‘I didn’t come here to ask you to understand. I know you will never be anything other than that sick twisted bastard who likes to bully students. Did Lily hurt your feelings back in school? Did you call her a Mudblood and was that the end of your bond with her? Were you really surprised that she would leave you behind one day? Did you really think she loved you?’

She had never seen anyone do it, but this was different. He tore out of her spell and went right for her neck. He pushed her down to the stone floor, his hands around her neck.

‘YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY. YOU WILL SPEAK WITH RESPECT. DO NOT PRESUME TO KNOW ME FILTHY HALF-BLOOD!’ 

He had knocked her wand away, so there was really only one thing to do. She clenched her hand into a fist and punched him as hard as she could in the face. He shrieked when his nose started bleeding. Alicia was swift enough to get her wand and point it at him before he could pick up his own.

‘Sit in your chair,’ she ordered. ‘Let the wand where it is.’

He obeyed and sat down, with a venomous look in his eyes. ‘You think you can get away with this? Attacking a teacher is enough to get you expelled! So close to the end, but you forgot the year isn’t over yet. I can still make the coming week hell for you.’

Alicia shrugged. ‘You could,’ she raised her wand to his head. ‘If you could remember. _Obliviate.’_

* * *

She did feel slightly better after putting Snape in his place and punching him. The obliviation had worked and she had looked at him with a disillusionment charm over her to see how confused he looked around. She had left quickly before she felt the urge to do it again. She did still feel the pressure on her neck where Snape had grabbed her.

However, she also knew it was too late. She couldn’t obliviate every Slytherin. Besides, by now it was more likely the entire school knew. It was too late to safe Remus’ job. He had to go.

She stepped into his office a little moment later. She was still using the cane even though she hadn’t taken it in Snape’s office with her.

‘Knock knock,’ she said deflated. Remus turned around. He had started packing. ‘You look tired,’ he simply said as she seated herself in one of the armchairs. ‘Tired, frustrated, furious, sad…pick one,’ she told him as she rested her head on her palm. Remus took the other chair and leaned over to grasp her hand.

‘So you heard?’ he asked simply.

She couldn’t help it. It was probably the most immature thing he had seen her do, but she couldn’t stop herself. She cried. ‘Remus you don’t deserve all this crap! Why does it matter so much to people? It’s so unfair!’

He sat on his knees in front of her now, both his hands on her cheeks. ‘Maybe it is unfair, but also understandable. I am dangerous. Your leg is proof of that.’

She swatted his hands away. ‘I would gladly come here every month and lock you up or give you the potion. I would do anything for you!’ She began to sob hysterically.

He kissed her on the top of her head. ‘Hey, hey. Listen. I don’t care that much about this job. Not nearly as much as I care about you. I’d rather be with you than here. I’ll find work, don’t worry. Nothing permanent, but I’m used to that. Don’t you understand? Alicia, you have given me a reason to live again.’

She sniffed. ‘I did?’

He smiled brilliantly. ‘Of course. I’d rather leave this place today and wait for you at Kings Cross, and then you can come with me. We will figure everything out together. I don’t need Hogwarts anymore. I have you now.’

She tried to smile through her tears. ‘And Padfoot.’ He chuckled. ‘Yes, and Padfoot. We’ll help him too. We will be an odd little family. Sounds good?’

She nodded, not being able to speak in fear of crying again. After a moment she said: ‘Sorry I’m such a mess.’

He kissed her on the forehead. ‘I’m a mess too. Let’s be messes together.’ She laughed at that. He stood up and watched the Marauders map on the desk. ‘I have a feeling Harry is coming up to see me. Do you still want to be here when he arrives?’

‘Yes. I still don’t know all the details of yesterday. Or did Dumbledore tell you?’

Remus informed her on everything Dumbledore had told him. Also that he was sorry to see Remus go, but that he understood completely. She also heard the good news that Buckbeak was not dead, but in fact happily out there with Sirius.

‘So you are leaving today then?’ she asked in the end.

He sighed. ‘Yes. I can’t face all the students. I’d rather go quietly.’ Alicia nodded. ‘Alright then. But you will be there next week on the platform?’

Remus took two strides to close the distance between them. He kissed her roughly, needy. She needed him too, kissing him back with all the energy she could muster. When he let go, he gave her that smirk again and winked. ‘You can count on it. I am not letting you go for anything.’

‘You better don’t. I’m very wanted,’ she said back with a wink. Remus chuckled and continued his packing. After a moment he looked over Alicia’s shoulder at the map. ‘I saw you coming,’ Remus said with a smile. Alicia turned around to see Harry standing in the door opening.

‘I just saw Hagrid. He said you’d resigned. It’s not true, is it?’ Harry asked bewildered.

‘I’ll leave you two alone,’ Alicia told them both. She got her cane and hobbled on her way out. Harry watched her and turned his attention to her. ‘What happened?’

She turned to face Remus, who had a calm look on his face. ‘Scratched by a wolf,’ she told Harry with a wink. Harry seemed mildly shocked. ‘Hermione told me you were there yesterday. Said you ran into the woods to protect me from…uh…’ He looked uneasily between Remus and her.

‘From me. And she did. She stopped me from killing or hurting. Apart from herself, of course.’ He rolled his eyes. Alicia placed a hand on her hip. ‘Don’t sound so disappointed. For my first time handling a werewolf, I think I did pretty well.’

Harry gave the two of them an odd look, maybe wondering why she was so casual with the professor. But to be fair, Harry was casual with him too. Remus was practically an uncle to him.

‘So when we were at Hagrid’s, you knew already that was Pettigrew?’ Harry asked her before she could leave. Alicia nodded. ‘And you did nothing. You ran away.’

She sighed. ‘I said the same thing to Ron. You wouldn’t have believed me. Sirius needed him as proof.’

‘So you did that for Sirius then?’ he asked bewildered. Alicia nodded. Then she placed her hand on Harry’s shoulder and moved out of the office. She was in the classroom now, wondering where the time went. She remembered her first day this year, when she was late. She must have looked like a lunatic when she got in. But Remus had not given her detention. He had in fact never given her a hard time. Not during classes, anyway.

She sat there for a while, leaning against a desk, when someone else walked in.

‘Ah, Miss Doreen. Good morning,’ he said cheerfully.

‘Good morning Professor Dumbledore. How are you doing today?’ she asked politely.

‘Oh good, very good. Thank you for asking. Although I wished I didn’t have to lose one of my best teachers. How is your leg?’ Dumbledore asked as he also leaned on a desk.

‘I can manage. I’ve had worse injuries over the years,’ she said with a wink. Dumbledore smiled. ‘Ah yes. Miss Nessie is what they call you, if I’m correct? The student you can trust to find the beauty in the beast.’ He winked back and had that twinkle in his eyes, when he knew something he wasn’t saying. Alicia turned red. _How did this man always know?_

Remus and Harry emerged from the office. ‘Ah, Remus. Your carriage is at the gates,’ Dumbledore told him.

‘Thank you, Headmaster.’ Remus carried his suitcase down the stairs, Harry was right behind him. ‘Remus I meant to ask, Professor Snape seemed to have some form of accident earlier. He can’t remember what happened but suddenly his nose was broken. You don’t happen to know anything about that?’

If Remus had known, because he had tracked her on the map, then he wasn’t showing it. He was perfectly blank when he answered. ‘I don’t. I’m sorry. Sounds like a nasty accident.’

Behind Remus, Harry was trying to suppress a smile. He locked eyes with Alicia, who tried not to look too guilty. Still she had a feeling he knew.

‘Very well then. Thank you for everything Remus. And goodbye,’ Dumbledore said as he offered to shake his hand. Remus took it and looked back at Harry and then Alicia. ‘Would you mind to accompany me, Miss Doreen?’

She jumped up a big too eagerly and followed him out. Once they were out of hearing distance from the classroom he said: ‘What did you do?’

‘I don’t know what you-,’

‘To Snape. What did you do to Snape?’

‘I….yelled at him, punched him in the nose and made him forget.’

He sighed deeply and held his head in his hand. ‘Why?’

‘Take one fucking guess why.’

He looked at her again. ‘You need to control yourself better Alicia. I thought you said you learn from your mistakes. That fiery attitude of yours will get you into trouble one day.’

She bumped into his side. ‘I thought I had you for that. To keep me out of trouble.’ He chuckled. ‘So after all those years keeping James and Sirius out of trouble, now it’s you and Sirius? What is my life?’

Alicia scanned the hallway quickly, decided it was empty and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. ‘You’re our wolf-boy.’

Remus just didn’t have the energy to continue that conversation so they just laughed. They walked all the way down. Once they walked outside the Entrance Hall onto the court, they found a couple of people again. Including her three best friends, who were returning from their trip to Hogsmeade.

‘Hi guys,’ Alicia said cheerfully. The three girls looked glum and conflicted. At last Elena ran over to them and stopped in front of Remus.

‘Professor,’ she whispered, ‘We didn’t say anything. Alicia made us swear to not tell anyone, and we didn’t. We were completely surprised when everyone knew this morning. Please believe me, it wasn’t us.’

Both Alicia and Remus smiled. ‘I know,’ Remus said. ‘It was Snape,’ Alicia continued. Remus gave her a look. ‘Thank you for keeping my secret Elena. Now that I’m not your teacher anymore, I think I can pull one final prank on the school. Michelle, Sophia, please come over here.’

The girls were very curious at this point. ‘What is it, Pro-Remus?’ Michelle said with a look at Alicia. Remus just chuckled. ‘All four of you passed your DADA N.E.W.T.S. Sophia with an Exceeds expectations and the rest of you Outstanding. Congratulations.’

The girls were gleeful at that news. Some bystanders wondered what got them so happy. They said their goodbyes to Remus, wished him well and then it was the two of them crossing the bridge. There was indeed a carriage waiting on the other side.

‘Will you survive the coming week without me?’ Remus asked lightly. It gained him a giggle from her. ‘Neh. I think I will perish.’ They laughed at her stupid joke. She felt something move against her hand. When she looked down she saw his hand, opened and questioning. She raised an eyebrow. ‘Taking all the risks now?’

He turned around. ‘I don’t work here anymore so I don’t care at all.’ He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. Then he raised their hands and kissed hers on the back. She giggled. ‘Missed opportunity. We should have done this all the way through the castle.’ Remus shook his head, but was also smiling. ‘You are still awaiting your final grades. When those are in, we are free. For now make sure nothing influences your marks.’

Alicia huffed. ‘You think I care? Even if I failed everything I wouldn’t return here. Can you imagine, me being here for another year with another DADA teacher? Can you risk me flirting with someone else? I am after all a professor-hunter.’ She wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis. Remus laughed loudly. ‘Sorry, sorry. I just imagined you trying to flirt with other teachers. It’s hilarious.’

‘I should have you know I’m one of Flitwick’s favourites,’ she said proudly. After a shared look they both burst out in laughter. ‘No, Alicia. Anyone that was also a teacher when I was a student here is too old for you.’

‘Alright fine. Severus it is.’ Remus laughed, but more quiet this time. He had probably not agreed with her actions earlier. If she was completely honest, she already started to regret it. She had just lost it, and went too far. Better not to dwell on it though, if everything went all right no one had to find out.

They reached the carriage. Remus threw his suitcase inside and stood next to the door. ‘Well, I guess this is it. Goodbye for now,’ he said, sounding more sad than she had expected.

‘I have never not seen you for a week or longer. Even when you were ill during classes, I still saw you in the Great Hall. Gosh, the amount of meals that I’ve been staring at you. They already feel like a lifetime ago,’ Alicia admitted with a soft expression. She fixed his jacket that had some creases in it.

He looked down at her with a fond look. ‘I noticed you staring. I liked it. Sometimes I wished I could just stare back and dare you who would hold the other’s gaze the longest. But well, that was too risky.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘Don’t worry darling. I’ll see you soon. A new chapter is starting.’

‘So there is,’ she whispered back while he hugged her close to his body. She tried to take everything in. His smell, the sound of his breathing, the feeling of his arms around her…

He let go to kiss her on the lips. She reached up on her toes to get closer to him, entangling a hand in his hair. ‘I already miss you,’ Remus whispered. She smiled when he jumped up into the carriage. She stepped back and waved one final time before the carriage brought him to the train station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter remains after this! The end is near...


	18. The final chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> Here is the final chapter. I am so curious to see how you guys liked my story. Please let me know what you liked and disliked about it in the comments!

Over the rest of the weekend most students had settled down with all the news that was going around. About Sirius Black, about the dementors leaving and about Professor Lupin being a werewolf. Alicia had a hard time listening to all the cruel things people said when he wasn’t around anymore. It was like everyone had forgotten what a great teacher he was. All they saw was his sickness.

Sunday Alicia had spent in the Gryffindor tower. She had missed the party the previous night and she wanted to make up for it. Of course she got loads of questions about her leg. The fun part of being ‘Nessie’ was that whatever bullshit story she came up with, people believed her. It’s also why she kept changing her story. What would it matter? Let people think what they want.

Harry wasn’t feeling particularly good. Alicia was sure he still had Peter on his mind and she couldn’t blame him. If she ever found that ratty man…she would make sure he would regret it. So as a distraction they played some games in the common room and talked speculations about their grades. Alicia tried to pry the Weasley kids for information about Charlie and Romania. It would be nice to go in with a little preparation.

‘So you think you are up for it?’ Fred asked her during a card game. ‘Working with dragons? What would you do if…a dragon got lose and attacked a village?’

Alicia chuckled but kept looking at her cards as she replied. ‘Distract the beast from the villagers, make sure it chases me, run or fly as fast as I can while throwing confundus charms over my shoulder and finally finding a good remote place where I can build a protective shield to keep it inside. Something like that.’

Harry and Ron, who had heard the entire story of Alicia and Moony in the woods, were stifling their giggles. Fred just blinked. ‘That’s…oddly specific. But yeah, I guess that could work.’

On Sunday evening she had finally taken the time to sit down and talk to her three best friends. It was an awkward conversation with a lot of awkward questions, but Alicia didn’t mind them knowing. They all promised to keep in touch and meet up once a month. Alicia was looking forward to it.

On Monday the results came in. Everyone was tense, but in the end there were a lot of relieved sounds around the Great Hall.

NASTILY EXHAUSTING WIZARDING TEST RESULTS

STUDENT: ALICIA DOREEN

SUBJECT GRADE

Transfiguration Acceptable

Potions Outstanding

Charms Outstanding

History of Magic Exceeds Expectations

Defence Against the Dark Arts Outstanding

Herbology Acceptable

Astrology Exceeds Expectations

Care of Magical creatures Outstanding

‘Can you imagine…’ Alicia said out loud as all of them were reading their list over. ‘The look on Snape’s face when he had to grade me an Outstanding? Can you just close your eyes and imagine him reading and reading again, looking for my mistakes, looking in my potion to see the slightest change in colour or effect…and finding nothing he can downgrade me on?’

The other girls laughed so hard they were crying. Alicia was particularly liking this. The list was pretty much as she had hoped, only Herbology was a bit of a surprise. But she was happy enough to say she had passed all her subjects and did not need to take any second chance exams.

Michelle had an Outstanding for everything except Ancient Runes and was very happy with her results. It seemed that she would enlist for the Aurors traineeship after all. Elena was bummed to have failed her History of Magic with a ‘Poor’, so she had to retake the exam on Wednesday. She was already complaining about all the theory she had to read again, but the girls were quick to assure her they would help. Sophia had managed to pass everything, but only had one Outstanding for Muggle studies. All in all, they were content.

Everyone was comparing grades with everyone in the Great Hall. Alicia liked to see the place like this, because the house tables were pushed to the walls and everyone was talking to everyone. She had always disliked the rivalry between houses. Today she was talking to everyone she had ever talked to before, also to have a last good chance to say goodbye and wish everyone good luck. There were some tears involved too.

She found Hermione who was a little off to the side. She smiled when she saw Alicia.

‘Happy?’ Alicia asked. Hermione nodded. ‘Always room for improvement, but I’m content. I was just looking at Professor Snape…’ Alicia looked with her and spotted Snape standing uncomfortably in a corner. He was talking to a select group of Slytherin students. Even from this distance she could see that his nose was crooked and still swollen. ‘I wonder if Professor Lupin did that. Or maybe it happened in the tunnel as we transported him back. To say Sirius didn’t care if he hit his head is an understatement.’

Alicia chuckled. ‘I’m sure Sirius gave him a rough ride. But uhm…I did the nose. Please don’t tell anyone.’ Hermione looked at her with big eyes. ‘You _hit_ a teacher?’ she hissed. ‘How come he doesn’t know?’ Alicia bit her lip. ‘Memory wipe. I’m sorry. I do feel bad about it on second thought. But he is just such an ass.’

Hermione huffed like she had never been so scandalized. Maybe this was why people didn’t tell her about their schemes and pranks. ‘What did he do, what made you so angry?’

‘He started telling everyone that Remus was a werewolf,’ Alicia said, still bitter about it. If looks could kill…

‘Okay yeah I agree that was mean, but I just fail to see why you would be so angry that you could do that. Or am I missing something here?’ Hermione looked curious.

Alicia giggled. ‘Well, I have my grades. I have officially graduated. So you can know if you want. Do you want to know the secret I’ve had for the last months?’

Hermione seemed to consider this. ‘Yes.’

Alicia leaned closer to Hermione. ‘I kissed a teacher. I started a relationship with a teacher. I even had sex with him. Multiple times. Office and classroom. Nearly in the forest too. I’m in love with Remus Lupin, our currently retired Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.’

Hermione just seemed frozen. She wasn’t even blinking, but her eyes were big and shocked. Alicia ruffled her bushy hair and took off, leaving the poor thirteen-year old with images that would haunt her for some time.

* * *

After the last days in the castle they all went home with the train. Alicia had nearly cried when she looked back at the castle one last time. It was a literally and figuratively magical place. Elena had passed her retake too, so all of them were off to go home and be adults.

‘I will be taking at least a month’s vacation before I start applying for a job. Everyone needs their freedom! Don’t we?’ Sophia told them. Alicia was happily smiling at them as the train moved through the plains of Scotland. Everything seemed the same as every year. Only now it was over. Their time as teenagers had come to an end. Now was the time to start an internship or a job.

At least she already had a job offer. It was a nice comfort, but also a big question mark. When Remus had talked about the time after school, he kept referring to his place. She would come with him and they would find Sirius together. And she wanted to. Her parents would have to understand that she was in a relationship with an older man. But…did he forget she was going to Romania? Or did he see himself follow her and find a job there? Would Sirius be save near an area where a lot of wizards and witches lived and worked?

All these thoughts were giving her a headache, so she stopped and listened to her friends.

Later Alicia was walking down the train. She found the compartment with Harry, Ron and Hermione. She noticed straight away that Harry was a lot happier. He showed her the letter he had received from Sirius. Alicia was happy for him too, hoping he would get a better life than he had with his uncle and aunt. She sat with them for a while. Hermione seemed to have come back from the shock, or she pretended she hadn’t heard it. It didn’t really matter.

Alicia left the train together with her friends, and on platform 9 ¾ she saw a familiar man in shabby clothes. She smiled brightly at the sight of him and ran over to hug him. He opened his arms wide and received her happily.

‘Hello again Moony.’

‘Long time no see Nessie.’

They talked for a bit, but then she noticed her three friends waiting to say goodbye. They greeted Remus and then all the girls went in for a group hug. All four former-Ravenclaws were crying.

‘I mean it! Keep owling guys!’ Elena said through her sobs.

‘We will see each other in the Leaky Cauldron next month!’ Michelle said hopefully.

‘I’ll miss you guys,’ Alicia simply said.

They all let go, and before she knew it they had disappeared from sight. There was a hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s a weird day, huh?’ he said.

‘Yeah,’ she breathed.

‘Come on. Let’s go.’

Remus took her trolley and they walked together through the wall into the muggle world. It was so weird to be back in a place of order and no magic after such a long time. A world where werewolves were fairy tale monsters and magic only existed in Disneyland.

They stepped outside the train station. It was a sunny day in London. It was not too late in the afternoon. The air hummed with possibilities, the world seemed to wait for her to choose a path. And here she was, together with her werewolf boyfriend.

‘It really feels like a chapter of my life is over now…but it also feels like a new one will begin any moment,’ Alicia remarked. She looked up at Remus, who had a kind smile on his face. He took her hand in his.

‘Ready for the next part?’ Remus asked.

‘Absolutely.’

**End of book one.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....that's it.  
> I was thinking, if people would like it we could do a Q&A of sorts. Maybe a zoom meeting or just as a forum on Tumblr? If you all feel excited about it let me know :) 
> 
> As you might have heard already: there is a sequel coming. I am already pretty far at writing it. I have a little surprise for you: I'm uploading the first little intro of my sequel together with this final chapter! So after you left your comments go to the next chapter to figure out how this story continues! 
> 
> Lots of love,  
> CrazyRapunzel


	19. Life amongst dragons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a sneak peak of the sequel! enjoy and stay tuned. I will upload the beginning of the 2nd book in 2 weeks!

**Book 2**

There were few places in the world as stunning as Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The mighty castle stood strong as ever in the Highlands of Scotland, next to the glittering Black Lake. It was a cloudy day with a fair amount of wind blowing over the hills. The castle was easy enough to spot from a great distance. That is, of course, for magical folks.

It had been ten minutes if not more; the time Alicia Doreen had taken to stand on an outcrop of hill to admire the view. The wind was doing its best to blow her away, but it was the castle that did the job. Even though it had not been that long since she last saw it, the magical school was a sight for sore eyes.

‘It never stops to amaze, does it?’

Alicia didn’t have to take her eyes off the view to know it was Charlie Weasley who had decided to join her. He stopped next to her, hands in his pockets, ginger hair waving in the wind. He had decided to braid a part of his hair to the back, as was a custom of his. He remained silent after that one sentence. There was a big smile on his face as he was flooded with similar emotions to Alicia. He also had spent seven years in that castle.

‘It’s good to be back,’ Alicia said at last. She took a deep breath of fresh air and punched her colleague in the side. ‘We should get back and help the others.’

Charlie smiled down at her, his teeth showing. ‘All right _Fata foc_. I suppose we will have enough time to stand around and admire the view.’

As Charlie descended the hill, Alicia looked back one more time and felt good and bad emotions rise in her.

It promised to be an interesting month.


End file.
